20 Things To Do When You’ve Been “Cancelled” by the PC Police

1.) Wake up.

2.) Get out of bed.

3.) Have a nice stretch.

4.) Tell Alexa to put on some good tunes.

5.) Take your morning constitutional.

6.) Take a nice, long shower at your preferred temperature.

7.) After showering, brush your teeth, and, if you wish, shave or go through your morning skin care routine.

8.) Put on a nice, lounging around the house outfit.

9.) Go downstairs.

10.) Make yourself your preferred breakfast. (This must include waffles.)

11.) Turn on the TV.

12.) Lament that cable news is spending 5 minutes on something controversial you thought or said while the rest of the goddamn world burns.

13.) Pause and take a nice, deep breath.

14.) Take your iPhone (it’s always an iPhone) and check you preferred banking app.

15.) Realize that in spite of being “stifled”, “criticized” and “cancelled” over your shitty thoughts and opinions, you are still a multimillionaire and people will still trip all over themselves to bend to your every fucking whim.

16.) Think about the fact that having money and wealth beyond most people’s wildest dreams doesn’t inoculate you from getting called out about your hurtful, intolerant horseshit.

17.) Grow the fuck up and realize that actions have consequences, and a frequent consequence of being a garbage human being is people calling you a garbage human being because you’re being a garbage human being.

18.) Maybe get some fucking counseling and realize that your intolerance isn’t the fault of the group that you hate for no reason; it’s a failing of yourself to not be an intolerant, mean-spirited bigot. That’s a you problem, dipshit and/or dipshitette.

19.) Apologize for making your statements, promise to do better, and then maybe donate the millions you’ve made whilst being an intolerant fuckwit to noteworthy causes of the groups you’ve decided to hate for no reason other than you can’t be bothered to fucking understand them.

20.) Become a functional adult in a society that shouldn’t reward shitty behavior from cretinous assholes but somehow always does.

About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.


  1. As I told my kid last night when she told me about this “controversy”:
    “What? You don’t get to complain about how anyone treats you if you’re a fucking billionaire. Shut up, sit down, and count your damn money.”
    Why these fuckwits court controversy when they could spend their time lounging in villas in the south of France is absolutely fucking beyond me. Does Twitter exert some sort of evil mind control over rich assholes?

  2. You’re right, the only way JK Rowling stops digging the hole she put herself in is to apologize and then shut up.  All this PR spin and deflection just makes her more and more toxic.
    JK’s problem is the same problem that happens to a lot of successful people.  They think that everything they do has meaning and that everything they feel/think is correct.  The worst people tend to be those who assume everything that comes out of their heads is gold.  I’ve learned by hard experience that maybe if you’re good at what you do it is about 20%.  The 80% or more is shit or a variation of Theodore Sturgeon’s law (90% of everything is shit.)
    It is something I’ve seen in my own “people”, engineers.  (I’m guilty of this myself) We assume that because we’re good in one specific area that we are good in ALL areas when evidence points otherwise. I get why non engineers roll their eyes when engineers stomp out of their lane.  We tend not to respect that other people are good at what they do and should fucking shut up and listen once in a while.
    The really successful person also lives in a bubble of parasitic assholes and bootlickers who surround them.  These so called gate keepers isolate the successful person from reality and new people in the guise of “protecting” that successful person when it just feeds on their ego and delusions and brings out the worst in them.
    All in all, the bubble and delusions of adequacy created by success may make a successful person thin skinned and non empathetic to others.
    Another problem is that we’ve focused success ENTIRELY on money, having more, and living the life.  Things that are quantifiable but really quite shallow in the human scale of experience.

  3. I love how none of those dopes are complaining about how Tucker Carlson’s latest freakily racist writer was “cancelled” in the face of the left wing mob.
    Harvard man Tom Cotton calling for troops to give no quarter to protestors is important discourse we must listen to.  This guy, though, is disposable. They don’t have any high principles they are defending, but they hide behind them when they want to protect someone who is part of the club.

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