A Gentle Reminder: Please Do Not Drink, Inject, or Bathe In Bleach

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - FEBRUARY 11: Bottles of Clorox bleach sit on a shelf at a grocery store on February 11, 2011 in San Francisco, California. Shares of Clorox stock rose 7.6 percent to close at $71.26 after billionaire investor Carl Icahn disclosed in a regulatory filing that he holds close to 9.1 percent stake in the company. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Like…how the actual fuck did we get here?

Put aside all the jokes about how we live in a post-fact society and just focus on common sense. There are things we learn at childhood that stick with us forever. Don’t stick you hand on a hot stove. Don’t go poking around electrical sockets. Look both ways before crossing the street. Batman: The Animated Series is the best children’s cartoon of all time. Just, simple, common sense advice that everyone must follow and abide by to be able to live.

One of those things is to not fuck around with household cleaning products. Like not fucking around with bleach.

It’s staggering that the President of these United States has suggested injecting bleach as a cure for the coronavirus. But the only thing that isn’t a surprise is that a rich white person would suggest it. Bleach has been peddled as some sort of “miracle cure” for numerous sickness and mental ailments, including autism.

There is an entire industry of con artist like the President suggesting regular people take very dangerous shit to cure things that they can’t control. There is, I believe, a comfort in average people being “gifted” knowledge from on high by the wealthy. Because they would know, right? They have more access than your neighbor. They employ the scientists.

A charitable view of Donald Trump just throwing shit at the wall and treating it like it has medical merit is that Trump is trying to sell hope to a country that feels hopeless, a country that will not be “normal” for a long time. Even if the virus disappears tomorrow, we will be forever changed and scarred by this moment. Social gatherings will never be quite as social. Sporting events won’t be as loud. Concerts won’t be as crowded. More big time movies will show up on streaming services mere weeks after being released in theaters. Welcome to the new normal, folks. You thought 2016 was a shit year? Welcome to 2020, my dudes. It has sucked and increasingly seems like it will never not suck.

The less charitable view is that Donald Trump is going to get people killed. He already has gotten people killed. His inability to just shut the fuck up and let the actual experts do their fucking jobs and spitting out the first would-be cure that pops into his senile as brain is going to lead to even more people dying. No, Donald, bleach and sunlight will not take care of the virus. No, you can not just talk your way out of this situation. You can’t fall ass-backwards into success despite yourself, because COVID-19 is not an easily manipulated rube. It is a dangerous thing that is killing people. I’m long past thinking that Donald Trump has a heart, or a soul, or even a fully functioning brain. He is a deeply addled old man, a rapidly sunsetting dipshit who wasn’t very smart when he was young and is increasingly less so as he is forced to stay home, like the rest of us, and watch the same ol’ shit on TV. But you would think he would at least be able to have something resembling common sense. Something. Literally fucking anything.

But apparently not.

The coronavirus won’t be stopped until there is some sort of vaccine for it, and even then, it threatens to become as seasonal as the flu, only way more likely to kill you. That vaccine isn’t going to be available until 2021 at the earliest. Until then, this is our lives, just a mass of human beings incapable of escaping the realities of the universe. That isn’t comforting. It’s not easy to accept. I had to go to the doctor and get prescribed anti-anxiety medication just to be able to get through the day without cursing out a loved one and loathing every minute of being at work. But at least now I kinda sorta know what’s to come, and that I can’t change it.

So, even though this should really, really go without fucking saying…don’t drink bleach. Don’t inject it. Don’t bathe in bleach and then blog about it like it’s a cure like Christina Cuomo. Stop hoarding hydroxychloriquine. Our only options are to wait, keep our social distance, and understand that “normalcy” is a ways off.

If the leader of the free world can’t be bothered to have common sense, at least you can.

About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.


  1. I have to promote the opposite opinion. I think that Donald Trump & all his true believers in government should DEFINITELY drink or shoot up bleach and/or stick UV lights up their asses. I dare you to debate me on this!

  2. Thinking about all the women who used to douche with lysol because being a woman is inherently unclean, or the women of color who have been compelled to use literal bleach on their skin to lighten it over the years (before the advent of more palatable skin bleaching products which are not actually palatable).

    The fact is that people will try to pass on a narrative that COVID victims were inherently unclean people. There will always be a snake oil salesman to take advantage of it.

    That said, I am feeling ruthless and am openly advocating that his followers follow his advice. Poison yourself before you poison us.

  3. It is seriously mind blowing that we are here, and I’m sure more than a couple ppl working for Lysol must have had their jaws drop at the notion that they would need to issue a statement inherently reminding people that the president is a complete moron and you shouldn’t inject their products.
    I mean, W was not the brightest bulb. We know this. But he wasn’t a complete moron. He had some common sense and compassion, and actual intelligence. Biff has none of those things. We can literally say that the president of this country is an utter imbecile without being prejudicial about it. Only a fool would think that ingesting bleach would do someone any good.
    I cannot wait to see the logical loop-de-loops his supporters will engage in to stay in lock step with him after this comment. Assuming they don’t all practice what he preaches immediately.

    • Trump supporters all day on Twitter: You are an idiot if you think he meant to inject disinfectant. He meant this actual procedure involving…

      Trump’s excuse is released: It was sarcasm.

      Trump supporters after sarcasm excuse is released: You are an idiot if you actually thought he was being serious *deletes previous Tweets*

      • That’s the playbook, right there. He’s gone through it several hundred times now.

        1. Talks out of his ass spouting dementia-babble nonsense.
        2. Staff backtracks while trying to medicate/explain reality to Trump.
        3. MAGAs leap to social media saying “That’s not what he meant! You have Trump Derangement Syndrome!”
        4. Trump, if medication kicks in or explanations work, says “I wasn’t serious.” If medications and explanations don’t work, dotard doubles down on idiocy.

        At any point in this process, an undefined number of MAGAs take Trump’s statement utterly literally with effects ranging from comical to tragic.

    • That’s what gets me. I’m under no delusions that George W. Bush was a good or even average President. He did a lot of horrifying shit. But you could tell that he actually gave a shit, ya know? Being President meant something to him, he understood what the position entailed, and in moments of national tragedy, he was able to meet the occasion and bring us together. He was kind of dumb, but he wasn’t stupid, if that makes sense.

      Trump is a next level idiot. He has redefined what it means to lack intellect. Christ on a bike.

      • “But you could tell that he actually gave a shit, ya know? Being President meant something to him,”

        Yeah that’s the thing. Has Trump ONCE said he is sorry for those who are grieving or that he wanted to prevent as many American deaths as possible? Just anything that expresses basic human decency??

        • I mean, he has, but he sounds like an older brother who has to apologize after hitting their younger sister. “I guess I’m sorry your body got in the way of my hand.” There’s not a lick on sincerity behind any of the statements he makes. The true Trump came out when he said only 200,000 dying would mean he did a good job. That amount of death had no affect on him. No concept of how horrifying 200,000 Americans disappearing from the planet would be.

          It’s what happens when you have a Sith Lord for President who only deals in absolutes.

        • Of course not. Trump told the grieving families of SOLDIERS “well, he knew what he signed up for.” Bush, for all his MANY, MANY, MANY faults, would never have said something so utterly crass.

  4. I just want to start by saying at the beginning, that I don’t know if there is any credence to the idea that Trump’s youngest may have an ASD or not, and it’s:
    1. None of my business, and
    2. Not particularly here nor there…

    But with the comments that he’s made *before* about ASD’s and vaccines–he appears to buy soundly into the *DEBUNKED* Wakefield theory–i wouldn’t be surprised if he’s conflating MMS with the bleaching surfaces talked about by the expert at yesterday’s propaganda-briefing.

    Because *plenty* of Trump’s gritting supporters try to shill shit like MMS, as a cure for whatever the latest trending ailment is…

    For those of y’all who are wondering what MMS is, and have been able to go this long w/o hearing of it, long story short:
    Grifters sell a 2-part Industrial bleach, that–when the two parts are mixed (“activated”) becomes MUCH more caustic than regular household bleach… they then “dilute” this bleach solution and give it to their children who have ASD’s–either orally, or as an enema.

    When the recipient’s body does what bodies *do,* and sloughs off the burned layer of mucous membrane/the intestinal tract, the giver of the poison takes this as a sign the child had “guilt worms” which are now being expelled (i.e. like tapeworms, after anti parasite meds are given🙃)…

    There is literally an entire industry around MMS, and has been for YEARS now. It’s ALL charlatans preying on scared parents, who know NOTHING about what ASD’s really *are,* but who are desperately seeking a (nonexistent!) cure for their child.

    This article gets into it, and has some good links… but CW’s & TW’s ALL over the place, for those of y’all who have a difficult time reading about horrible medical stuff & abuse.

    Because any time MMS is given to another person, it IS abuse.


    As someone who is at the least Spectrum Adjacent,** MMS fills me with a calm, but absolutely INCANDESCENT rage. It’s use & recommendation fills me with a pure rage, and I bookmarked this one last year, because it was a *perfect* example of the horrors of MMS, to show parents of my future classroom kiddos how terribly important it is to have good, *FACT based* information,on anything you try to use on your child who has an ASD.

    (**pretty sure I managed to mask enough during my Dx, that i didn’t get a fully accurate diagnosis, and that had i been Dx’d as a child, rather than as a then 41-year old, I WOULD have a full ASD dx, rather than “Tendencies”. Especially, because I’ve met & known WELL a little girl who was nearly identical to the way *I* was at her age.😉 Fwiw she & I got along FABULOUSLY🤣, and our program made a lot of gains with her & her family after that, because I was able to give tips that *worked with her* to our higher-level staff & her parents.)

    • …I wish I could say I can’t believe that kind of thing goes on…but damn that’s tough enough to read about that honestly I don’t know as I can say I can really imagine how fucked up it would be to go through

      …some kids deserve better than their parents & that’s a sorry thing to say of a society that thinks of itself as advanced

      • The fact that I read “guilt worms” and was like “yup, that checks out for everyone who believes in the pseudo-science of MMS” should tell you everything you need to know.

        I figured guilt worms were something that Gwynth Paltrow had a cure for on Goop that people adopted for the anti-vaxx, pro-“autism has a cure” crowd. Didn’t bat a single fucking eyelash. Just thought “mmmhmm, that sounds right” and kept reading.

        Fuck me, what have the last four years done to my psyche?

  5. From the guy that wrote Trump on the Couch: Frank told me that Donald Trump is essentially a sociopath who has no feelings of care, concern or empathy for other human beings. More frightening still, Frank raised the possibility that Trump is not capable of feeling guilt or remorse. Not only will Trump feel no responsibility for the thousands if not millions of Americans who may die in the coronavirus pandemic, Frank said, he is likely to blame Barack Obama and the Democrats for the carnage. Trump’s followers, Frank warned, now perceive him as an infallible deity, and will obey his commands — even at the risk of their own lives.

    Psychoanalyst explains the bizarre and dangerous reason Trump lacks ‘the ability to cope with’ reality

    • One of the most frustrating things, about this ENTIRE administration, personally, is the fact that I was taking my Abnormal Psych class, the semester PapayaPolPot was elected.

      Our professor didn’t really try to sway us one way or the other.
      But he DID give us a list of four potential diagnoses, and ask us (keeping in mind that we were NOT qualified to Dx, of course!) to see if we could find real, legit, sources to support findings one way or another on those disorders.

      The two I remember most were Narcissism & Antisocial Personality Disorder, and without my Psych book, I honestly can’t recall the other two…

      But what absolutely HORRIFIED me, was that with ASPD, back then I was able to find example of *every single* possible option under the diagnosis, except for a childhood documentation of “Conduct Disorder” (only afterward, did I learn of his being shipped off to the military academy)…

      Here was the list of criteria:
      And he *also* obviously seemed to fit ALL the requirements for a Dx of Narcissistic Personality Disorder… although,again,I am NOT qualified to make a diagnosis,not do I know the man personally… but were he playing one on TV, he’d SURE be nailing his part with perfection.

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