A Simple Impeachment Proposal

This one weird trick could help Republicans do the right thing

In this image from video, Senators vote on the first article of impeachment during the impeachment trial against President Donald Trump in the Senate at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, Wednesday, Feb. 5, 2020. (Senate Television via AP)

Apologies for the timing, as I would never want to be the one to step on DSU!AN’s song, but humor me for a mo.

As a noted political consulting genius, I wanted to throw another idea out into the ether for discussion about how to get more GOP votes in the Senate.

The House rang up Trump on impeachment charges again, this time with 232 votes, including 10 from GOPers. This is, no joke, kind of great! Usually these are people who, visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve, are still voting against health care for Tiny Tim on Christmas morning… but not this time!

But the Senate has a real love affair going on with a certain bewigged dessicated blob. And in that august hall, you need a supermajority to officially say that said blob did the bad thing that he’s been doing openly for nigh upon five years now.

Now, I can already hear you: They’re super-loyal to a bloated hemorrhoid who literally told people to kill them just last week.

But I’ve seen the barest glimmer of a silver lining here.

The way to think about this is not in terms of “right” or “wrong” because those are alien concepts to American conservatives. But what we can do instead is start talking about 2024 and power.

Assuming he survives his all-fast food diet, Donald J. Trump is a massive front-runner for the GOP nod in three years. No other Republican has a quarter of his support, and he’s almost a cult figure to the rank and file.

So what we need to talk about is not punishing Trump; the discussion needs to be on what happens to His Turnipness after the presidency. We all know Josh Hawley would like to be Dear Leader for himself; Ted Cruz is sure that this time the whole blobfish face thing will work; Ben Sasse probably thinks he’s not a pustule-ridden colon; etc. etc. so on and so forth.

But if they vote for impeachment, they can then vote Trump into the political purgatory of never being able to hold high office again — and clear the path for their own campaign to badly lose the popular vote but steal a back-door win.

They may not be interested in doing what’s right for America, but they can’t help themselves when it comes to doing right by themselves.

And for once, we should encourage them to do exactly that.

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About Clever Name Here dba "Black Rod" 106 Articles
Vell, Clever Name Here just zis guy, you know? Sometimes funny. Often annoyed. Once I saw a blimp.

21 Comments

  1. if turnip doesnt run again…you may get a more competent evil asshole next tho
    tho…i guess…if he or she can form a sentence that doesnt hurt my brain..ill still consider that an improvement…as im on a different continent

    • We would anyway, at least in terms of enacting policy, as nobody could be less competent than Trump.

      Plus, the Republican Party is actively disinterested in governing so a competent version would just be a more serious version of Trump. Not even to get into the fact that part of fascism is the vaudevillian incompetence!  

  2. Also would like to add that conviction of the impeachment, as I understand it, would also deny him the 200k annual stipend and the $1mill travel budget. As well as the Secret Service security detail.

    For the sake of the taxpayers, we definitely deserve this after 4 years of Grifter-in-Chief. 

    • I hate the conspiratorial thinking of this — as it’s usually wrong or overblown — but it sure as hell seems like there was some internal coordination, and if more of that can be proven, it should be hung around the necks of everyone who had a part in it.

  3. Aren’t these bootlickers afraid that voting to convict would tank their presidential campaigns?  I’d probably take the approach of telling to do it for the good of the Party, rather than their political futures.

    • It’s sort of a no-win situation for them: If they vote against, they keep Trump’s fans happy, but also keep him in play for ’24. If they vote for, they piss them off, but also take him out of the equation … I’m pretty sure they disrespect the base enough to think they’ll forget about it in 4 years.

  4. Now, I know this will be difficult, but try to follow the moronic math andlogic that will certainly be at play:
     
    Trump and his supporters will form a third party.  Suddenly, we are splitting the vote three ways!  No one will vote for Trump anymore, so the Republicans squeak out a 34% plurality!

    • …if he managed to get some folks to not vote at all in the run offs in georgia…which it seems like he might have…& conned a whole mob into believing they could overturn a legitimately certified election result…which he pretty clearly did

      …what’s the chances that if he does get barred from holding office he could still syphon votes from idiots trying to put him down as a write in candidate…thereby splitting the GOP vote & handily dropping the whole thing in the lap of whoever runs for joe’s spot from the (D) team?

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