Are You Impatient? [NOT 17/6/21]

Yes, I do wear a wristwatch.

Honestly, are you just very, very tired of waiting? My impatience may be bordering on the curmudgeonly these days.

I am so over the oft-used phrase “wait until next year, it will look great” in reference to the garden and ornamental plantings. I am tired of the three-to-six-week lead time required to schedule any appointment with any doctor. I am really not happy about coworkers who habitually tell white lies about their expected time of return. Come on – you know that there will be traffic/construction/hit all the red lights and whatever other excuse is used for a long lunch. Don’t fib – just put the real time of return in your Slack so that everyone else isn’t waiting for you.

I could go on, but I can’t wait to hear if you, too, are impatient (pauses to tap fingers on desk and click refresh every ten seconds).

About Elliecoo 475 Articles
Four dogs, one partner. The dogs win.


  1. I used to be a LOT more impatient than I am today.  To be sure, I’m still a lot less patient than the average Earth person, but I’ve gotten better at it over the years.

    That being said, I think there’s a huge difference between being impatient, and expecting people to follow through on their commitments.  Be where you said you would be, when you said you would be there.  It’s not that fucking hard to stop making promises we can’t keep and be straight with people.

    • “and be straight with people.” Exactly. And look at you, right on time with a comment! 

  2. I am not generally impatient – but I have to say – the past three times I’ve called my vet because something was up with one of my dogs – they tell me they don’t have any appointments until the next week. I get that for regular visits but if something’s wrong with a pooch – waiting a week could mean death. If they are your vet that you have paid a lot of money to over the years – they should see you at the very least – the next day. Twice I had to pay an “emergency” fee for one of the two open “emergency” appointments during business hours. 
    I actually threatened to go to another vet and they miraculously made time for me. I have four dogs – things happen  – if you can’t see me without charging me a huge extra fee – then I have no use for you. 

    • @Lymond, another four dog family! I hear you…we have been with our veterinarian for 30 years…but now go to the emergency clinic half the time. The veterinarian is still on covid protocol.  Last time we were there the boys took revenge; they both peed on the vet.

  3. …I’d say my patience is contingent

    …some things I don’t mind having to wait for…they say good things come to those who wait & whisky certainly seems to bear out the principle, for example

    …but I’m definitely impatient where some things are concerned…& one of those things would be when waiting on someone when they said they’d be somewhere at a given time…it’s not like my record for punctuality is perfect or anything but there’s an aspect of that which is more about courtesy than the actual time difference…I used to be more understanding about that stuff when we didn’t all have mobile phones but these days being late & not giving someone a heads up when you figure out you will be is hard to distinguish from telling them you don’t have much respect for the value of their time

    …so the sort of people who think arranging an appointment & then making you wait is some sort of “power move”…generally don’t find that tactic has the desired effect…although under those circumstances appearing to have inexhaustible reserves of patience is often one way to annoy them…along with telling them you’ll have to think about whatever it was you were meeting about & that you’ll let them know when you’ve arrived at an answer but for today you wouldn’t want to take up any more of their valuable time?

      • …arguably it’s as much petty as anything…but it’s been known to be quite satisfying all the same

        “I was thinking about that very thing while I was waiting for you to get caught up with your schedule & it struck me that really the whole thing needs more thought if it’s not going to end up being a waste of time…but you’re running late & obviously today’s getting away from you so we can skip this for now & maybe that’ll get you back on track…once I’ve had time to give it due consideration I’ll let you know & we can try this again, how does that sound?”

        • @SplinterRIP “while I was waiting for you to get caught up with your schedule”…I am stealing that line.

          • …you’re most welcome to…if you can summon an expression of sympathetic understanding to go with it I find that works particularly well?

            • Oh that is rich @SplinterRIP.  I can even infuse my voice and my slack communication with “sympathetic understanding”, if not in-person. That reminds me of a gift I’ve given to two friends for use in interminable zoom meetings. It is a simple silk cord bracelet with sterling morse code dots and dashes that spell “fuck you”. As a result, I’m told that they often raise their wrists or rest their chin on their hand during meetings.

        • I’m the guy trying to catch up with my schedule half the time. For me it’s just a function of having 20 hours worth of work shoved at me for an 8 hour workday. I try to avoid making promises that I can’t keep, especially if it’s contingent on shit I can’t control. 

          • …see, that kind of thing I get…but I’ve also found that it can be the other thing…it wouldn’t be my default assumption but when it does seem to be what’s going on the above approach has been known to avoid it being repeated?

  4. I believe I’m considerably more patient than the average person, but I’m not above getting aggravated by pointless waiting. Don’t drive 35 in a 55; don’t tell me you’ll be there at 2 when there’s no way you’re getting there until 2:40; don’t tell me your “earliest appointment” is in 3 months; don’t hit me frantically with 7 texts demanding my reply on something you deem an “emergency” and then wait 30 minutes to respond to my response.

    • @CleverNameHere2, exactly!  Those are the same things that I was talking about. It all boils down to lack of awareness about the value of time, eh?

      • Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it. The devaluing of my time bugs me.

        But other types of patience, I’m really good at. This is a funny way of defining it, but I’m quite literally good at waiting. Even in the pre-phone times, it rarely bothered me to sit in a waiting room.

        And I’m very “people are trying their best” in my mindset, so I don’t get mad if people screw up so long as it seems like they’re making a good-faith effort. I’ve gone to enough restaurants to know that lots of people DO NOT share that mindset haha

  5. I generally consider myself to be a patient person. I USED to be very impatient, but raising 4 boys and living with 2 grown men has given me the patience of a saint, if I do say so myself.
    Just one thing… don’t waste my time. If I have to wait for an appointment or something, fine, but don’t make it and then call and change it twice because whoever is going on vacation. I may be an “at-home” mom (quotes because it’s amazing how little time I generally am at home! Mom’s Taxi is a very popular ride service around here), but I have to plan appointments around everyone else’s work/school schedules, and there’s not a lot of wiggle room most days. 

    • @HoneySmacks, yes, it is the time wasting that is the worst. And kudos to you for raising four boys and two men.

  6. I’m tired of other people’s errors. I’m fighting with an insurance company for a reimbursement I’m owed. Fighting with Lowe’s to correct a credit card error, fighting with another company that charged for a service I didn’t order, and never received. I’m tired of all the phone calls, and sitting through ridiculously long menus only to get disconnected and having to start over. I know  I’ll get it all resolved but I’m tired of dealing with it every day.

    • @Hannibal yes! “Automated phone customer assistance for your convenience…” Seriously, we know your company dumped the humans for the auto phone and chat bot. But I wouldn’t be calling you if the automation solved the issue, sheesh. Good luck resolving your consumer issues.

      • …pretty much all those systems are predicated on making it as difficult & time consuming (& all round aggravating) as possible to achieve the thing the customer requires…to the point that calling it customer service is basically an affront to logic & abuse of language

        …every so often I like to debate that with the poor person I eventually get to speak to…those calls are generally recorded & they can’t admit that it’s set up to deny you actual service but if you walk them through the logic they generally have to admit they can’t refute it

        “the system supposedly deals with the thing I’m trying to get resolved & yet here we are & it’s taken me x amount of time to get to this point at which it isn’t resolved & you’re telling me you can’t help or put me through to anyone that can…so it certainly seems like it doesn’t achieve that…& that’s hardly an accident since whoever designed it can hardly have been unaware of the fact they weren’t giving you the means to resolve the things people would be calling up to get done…really that doesn’t sound like your customers’ problem so much as one your employers have chosen to make yours because for whatever reason they don’t seem to believe it should be theirs…strange thing to refer to as customer service when you think about it, wouldn’t you agree?”

        …I sometimes wonder if any of the recordings of those calls wind up getting used in training about how to avoid accidentally admitting fault or liability…that’s happened a few times so I guess it’s at least possible?

        • That was us today. Our internet has been down all day and we have spotty cell reception at home. It’s been testing my patience and sanity to live like we’re in the dialup days. Finally got an Xfinity guy scheduled for tomorrow morning.
          I guess I will be finishing that paperback book that I put down months ago.

        • “really that doesn’t sound like your customers’ problem so much as one your employers have chosen to make yours because for whatever reason they don’t seem to believe it should be theirs”
          I LOVE this, and tbh, do use some version of it, on occasion😉
          And it typically works, because when we use it, it creates a bit of a “team,”–us and that poor person stuck-in-the-middle, against the corporate overlords who don’t  give them the tools they need and who so often set arbitrary & ridiculous quotas of numbers of calls these poor schmoes-in-the-middle are supposed to take in a day.
          When you’re a client taking up *more than the allotted time* in their queue–so the can’t  meet “that stupid number,” and you consciously/subconsciously remind them that it’s the fault of their managers & overlords, they often want to “stick it to the man,” in whatever small way they can!😉😁

  7. I think It’s safe to say that I have zero patience for anything (quite literally as some of you have already learned).

    It’d be easier for me to list a few things for which I do have patience, such as:

    • People who are willing to learn things they don’t know
    • People who need time to cross the street or go through doorways

    I believe that sums it up?

    • …and before @keitelblacksmith says anything…after all, I did say a “few”…

      • the Leafs to win the cup

    • @Myopicprophet l think that you are very patient. Both in computer assistance and in education. 

  8. My personal hell will be sitting in stop-and-go traffic for eternity.

    • @LemmyKilmister I hear that. Working from home for over a decade has eliminated rush hour driving from my repitore of frustrations, but I remember it well.

  9. I can be very patient, but I beg of people to tell me what I need to know up front.
    The rabbit died/little Timmy fell into a well/Santa won’t make it for Christmas this year…. I’ll hear you out as to why it’s not your fault, but please do me the respect of not beating around the bush to start.

    • @bluedogcollar, concisely ordered logical communication – a rarity, but much appreciated. 

  10. I have no patience. None. No fucking patience whatsoever
    I do not want to wait in lines.
    I will not sit and wait to dine.
    I do not want to wait at lights. 
    I do not care about your plight. 
    Making me wait for you is rude. 
    Do that and your ass is chewed. 
    Do not make me wait on you. 
    After five minutes, I say fuck you. 

    • Can I steal this for my gravestone?

      • Well, I kinda copied Dr. Seuss, but with 40% more profanity. 

          • I was worried my gravestone had been “canceled” before it was needed…very unsettling.

  11. Well, at the moment I have about 21 minutes before I’m done with work for the day and can go out and get a pizza, so GODDAMN RIGHT I’M INPATIENT.

    • @perdido, I hope that your pizza absolutely delicious, and worth waiting for!

      • I actually ordered it with about five minutes to spare, but then I got one last call in the last five seconds of my shift. After 15 minutes, the nurse went through the normal shtick where she turned the camera towards the wall and asked me to wait for the provider. But when I said that my shift was ending and I would get another interpreter on the line to handle the rest of the call, she seemed to get the message and opted to call back later. 

  12. I’m more patient now than I was several years ago. But I don’t know if it’s because I’ve grown as a person or I’ve been broken down.

  13. I’m a road raging asshole & have no patience for incompetence or slow driving in the left lane.  If you are at a stoplight, checking your texts when the light turns green you are getting my horn.  While we are at it…get off my lawn!!!

    • I’ve never loved you more. 

    • @Loveshaq, oohhh around these parts, “get off my lawn” is said with a soupçon less irony and tad more “I mean it these days”.

  14. What gets me is listening to someone drone on about the same problems over and over. I have been guilty of this and what I learned is no one is interested in your problems. A sympathetic ear is quickly worn out. Get your ass to a professional and take steps to solve the issue. It sounds harsh but it is healthier for everyone.

  15. Super impatient, here!
    Like a couple of my FAVORITE professors, I get told “You must be so patient!!!” or “You’re sooooo patient!” on the regular… 
    But as one of those beloved professors explains, when folks say it, “I’m NOT patient–I’m persistent.”
    Especially  when it comes to my kiddos–i WILL wait them out, and I WILL be the victor in any & every battle of wills… simply because with most of my kiddos, there are often not grownups in their lives who have gone alllllll the way to the mats with them, and simply *waited them out* until compliance…
    I DON’T mean that in a bad way!! And it’s NOT done in any sort of “break someone’s spirit” way! It IS usually a safety issue–and that’s why it’s SO important that our kiddos know that when a rule is set, they HAVE to follow it.  
    But many times, when our kiddos come in to programming–since I work Pre-K, they haven’t ever been in any sort of school/preschool setting–and many have never ever been to any kind of daycare (center-based OR an in-home one!) either… and since the grownups in our kiddos’ lives don’t typically work in Mental Health or Special Ed, they may be pretty overwhelmed & let the kiddos do *whatever is easiest* to manage through the day…
    So some of our kiddos do things which are literally physically unsafe… and that means that as staff, we HAVE to bring them around to doing things in a way that won’t  harm themselves or others… so we are extremely persistent & get that behavior modified into something safe & productive for the child.
    And the thing is?
    That persistence also means that we absolutely WILL & DO go to the mats, to get our kiddos the supports they need!!! Simply because they’re our kiddos, and their supports are mandated  by law in the US.  Doesn’t matter if a school/district claims “We don’t have the funds/time/staff!” it’ THE LAW, and we will ensure  that our kiddos  & their families get those needs met.
    A couple other places my lack of patience pops up regularly are driving–i’m a “speed of traffic” driver… I keep UP with traffic, and if I can’t/it’s too fast/it’s unsafe for conditions, I DO move into the rightward lanes (most of the freeways i travel are 3+ lanes😉)… that said–i ALSO don’t take stupid chances driving–i leave a decent gap between myself & the car ahead of me, signal moves, check my mirrors regularly–moving out of the way if someone’s coming up on me quickly, and I very much drive for the road conditions.

    • Forgot to put the other one!
      At the grocery store–especially when I’m cashiering, my goal is to get folks through & checked out ASAP…
      I WILL tell folks they need to go to the end of the belt & start bagging, if they’ve got a large purchase & are just standing around.
      I phrase it in a way that “sounds nice,” but I level with them, that our belts are OLD, and their items WILL get crushed, if they don’t start getting things off the end of the belt😉😈
      Thing is–with that?
      I now have multiple customers who specifically look for me on the lanes, because they know I’ll get them through quickly!😉🤣💖
      And I know that, because they’ve told me!🤣🤣🤣
      Some have even said, “…even though there were 4 people ahead of me over here, I picked your lane because you’re fast, and I knew that even though you had a line, I’d get out quicker than in any other lane!”😁😄😂
      Unless someone has a “full-to-the-top-wires” shopping cart, I DO often have them rung within a minute or two of their last item hitting the belt…. there are VERY few items I don’t know how to find in our system, and even fewer that I don’t know the name of.
      Between ☝that, and the fact that, in our grocery chain, employees are told “say “YES,” not “No**” and the fact that we employees DO have some leeway to “make it right” for customers… if something is unpriced in the system after I’ve scanned the UPC 4+ times, I’ll name a price, ask the customer if they’re ok with that price–then ring it AT the price I named…
      Afterward, I DO go hunt down the item, then grab another, and take it & the “item not found” receipt to pricing, so that it CAN be entered into the system…
      But I figure that the chain CAN take the hit that *one* time, since WE were at fault for not entering the item into the computer.🤔
      **on that “No” thing?
      I CONSTANTLY tell folks “No.”🤣🤣🤣
      I do it NICELY, and in a conciliatory manner–so that THEY  feel like the magnanimous one, with “the power” in our interaction(!!!)…
      but I DO–apologetically–tell multiple customers “No,” multiple times a week.
      For example, one time I had a dude who “complimented” me, then tried to get me to just *give* him more than $20.00 of groceries free….
      I knew what he was trying to do. So I called over a manager, “because he can help us get you taken care of…” (the man had said some straight-up sexist & disgustingly misogynistic things in his “compliments,” so I KNEW it was an attempt at “buttering me up”😒🤢🤮)… the manager arrived, started talking to the dude, leveled with him, gave him a TINY discount when I asked “if we could ____”, and *suddenly* the customer “found” another $20.00 in his pocket…🤔😉😂
      Most of the other times that I need to tell someone “No,” it’s because we don’t have a product in-store that day, ot we don’t carry that product at our location.
      We are physically one of the smallest stores in the chain, and many times, just have *one* facing of a given product… When you combine THAT with the incompetence/laziness of the man who does our orders (AND the fact that management churns so much that they don’t know/don’t care about his incompetence!) we often run out of various items in the Grocery section🙃…
      When I have to tell those customers “No” because we don’t have their item,also tell them which places locally to GET it, and  tell them when that store closes (*or* opens in the morning, if it’s after they’re closed!).
      It was a… trick/tip i learned from my co-workers at my old store, and I saw how it soothed frustrations up there.
      Customers don’t get mad, they’re just a little bummed, when you tell them, “We don’t have _____, but you should be able to find it at ____, _____, or ____–and ____ is open for another _____ (minutes/hours) if you need it tonight!”
      Even though I wasn’t able to *actually* help them get what they needed, they felt heard, seen, and cared about.😉💖
      Which then sends them out of the store in a good mood, rather than frustrated… even though I still  basically told them, “No”😉😁

  16. Putting this here, because I just need to whinge/vent a bit…
    Another thing which I’m quickly gaining ZERO patience for, is Pot.
    When we moved into this apartment, the agreement was that there would be no ssmoking–of ANY SSORT–indoors, because 1. Only one person in this apartment smokes, 2. It’s TERRIBLE for pets to live in a smoking house/ apartment, because of their lung size compared to a humans, AND 3. BECAUSE IT VIOLATES OUR LEASE!!!!!(🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬)
    Add into that, my past housing situation, when I lived in the house where I was constantly getting sick-between the roommate who was in a mental-health spiral (smoking cigarettes, weed, and *who knows what else,* while constantly burning incense “to mask the smell” and the homeowner-roommate who agreed to “one cigarette while i take my bath” but would constantly *also* “sneak” cigarettes in her bedroom when she’d been drinking or thought i was asleep… AND the fact that the current boy-roommate & i have had numerous conversations about our childhood traumas…
    a MAJOR one of mine being the fact that because of some of my childhood babysitters being drug users/dealers (completely unbeknownst to my mom–who NEVER would have put me in their care had she lnown!!!), I’m 99.999999% sure in retrospect, that plenty of my childhood “nighmares” & “weird floaty experiences” as a preschooler, were incidences where I was actually high on Acid, Weed, or *both*…
    I do NOT in *ANY* way, shape, or form *enjoy*  the feelings of “being high,” and in fact, HAAAAAAAAAAAATE it.
    There’s just NO feeling in it, which is “fun” or good.
    It’s *against my will,* it’s fucking DIZZY, it’s most like that fuzzy-headedness/ slight pounding you get *just* before a migraine starts, it makes it hard to think or concentrate  (LOADS of fun, when–like today!!!- desperately need to get homework done!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬), and it–for ME, anyway!– feels like the part of being “drunk” from alcohol, when your brain is still buzzed, & you’re intoxicated, but *after* you’ve passed the “feeling good & happy” stage, and you’re well on the way to “miserably sick & hung over tomorrow”🙃
    It fucking SUCKS, and tbh, it’s a pretty universal feeling for me–no matter the intoxicant–weed, codeine, morphine, *whatever,* they ALL  leave me feeling shittily dizzy, with a pounding head & racing heart.
    It fucking SUCKS.
    And because boy-roommate is disabled, and frankly, he’s a goddamn addict–even if he *thinks* he isn’t, AND he’s autistic, he literally melts down and/or has a goddamn panic attack, EVERY SINGLE TIME I say *anything* about points 1,2, or 3.
    It becomes “BUT I NEED IT TO DO MY WORK /Move/function!!!”  (he is a PCA for his fisncee/our other roommate)… and he fucking spirals & lashes out st himself, her, or me, depending on the day….
    ANOTHER  sign that this is addiction, rather than simply “pain management”
    And the thing that’s driving me up the WALL lately(!!!!!!!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬), is that apparently  he has it in his head now, that “If Em JUST tries the “right” strain!!!” I will somehow *magically* be okay with it…
    Nevermind those childhood traumas, nevermind my reactive airways, nevermind the fact that I’m ridiculously sensitive to many medications, because my own nervous system is both incredibly efficient & backward, AND *nevermind* my own FUCKING WISHES on the matter, that addiction RUNS in my family, *AND* that I DO have obsessive traits🙃😒😒😒
    I just FUCKING HATE this.
    I KNOW pot is no big deal for most folks. And if it weren’t being smoked inside my residence, and making ME high!!!!!), I’d have zero issue with it.
    But it IS impacting SO.GODDAMN.MANY areas of my life…. and it’s fucking WRECKING what little concentration I currently HAVE, and I’m basically at my wits’ GODDAMN END about that.
    Ffs, part of the reason I fucking FAILED classes last semester, was that the dumbass smoked up before he’d do her cares, *while* i was doing my homework, and I literally fucking FELL ASLEEP doing my homework in the living room.
    It took me WEEKS to figure out *why,* because one of the other “stupid human tricks” my nervous system pulls, is typically an inability to smell weed smoke🙃
    But this shit is fucking MISERABLE, and I hate it. I would say with *all the passion of a thousand fires suns,* but because he smoked in his bathroom before he left the house (realized THAT when I got dizzy 15-or so min. after he left🙃), then came back and taken up AGAIN–meaning that I’m tired & dizzy as fuck all OVER again😠😡🤬😢, I don’t even HAVE the fucking energy right now–because I’m fucking EXHAUSTED with a pounding head☹), to muster the rage.
    I’m just SO FUCKING SICK of this shit. And the fact that I had to go get an *ADDITIONAL* Adderall prescription, so that I can push my slogging fucking brain & body THROUGH his goddamn clouds.. and it makes me SO goddamn sad, and frustrated, and ANGRY.

    • …damn, em…that really sounds like a fucking nightmare & I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it

      …I’m assuming they can’t just take that shit outside because it’s not exactly legal in your neck of the woods…because otherwise I don’t know why it would be a problem for them to just not do it indoors…either way that does sound severely inconsiderate to put it mildly

      …any chance that they’d be willing to try going the edibles route?

      …if the stuff really does have effects that benefit them as far as I know those ought to carry over from the one to the other…& if they wouldn’t at least try then there’s got to be something about the actual smoking that they’re attached to…which it kind of sounds like they are

      …wish I knew something useful to suggest but if they won’t go outside with it I don’t know how you get across to them that it needs to not permeate the rest of the place because the situation you describe is definitely not fair to you in any kind of way

      •  “if they wouldn’t at least try then there’s got to be something about the actual smoking that they’re attached to…”
        This is why I’m just SO DONE with it, today!🤣😢😱
        When I spoke with my Nurse Practitioner  about it a month ago (because I’d already failed classes & was worried about Summer semester!🥴), SHE suggested edibles!!! She also prescribed the 5 mg Adderal, so that i *wouldn’t* just fall asleep, when I need to get homework done (and then gave me the Melatonin ‘scrip, after the first disastrous time I took the Adderall  & was up ’til 3:30 am!🙃)…
        SHE told me “in this state, whoever his hookup is will have access to edibles–they’re everywhere
        So I asked him…. supposedly his hookup doesn’t🙄😒🙃
        So I asked about *me* making them for him (I know how to COOK AND bake, I’ve made tons of cordials & liqueurs over the years, and it would just be an extension of that–fairly easy….)…
        The answer to that suggestion was “if you think this is airborne, that smells even WORSE!”… So I asked about making a tincture/oil…. and was told “Oh, that’ll take too much, and it’d be unaffordable!”
        So basically, YEAH, my conclusion was like yours, that this is psychological & *about the smoking experience* as much as the high, the “ability to just blank out & stop worrying/thinking” (“it all just goes away!”), and the physical pain relief….
        Thanks for listening, and letting me vent💖
        The validation of someone else thinking that this seems pretty frustrating & unreasonable is a definite balm to how miserable it feels dealing with it.💞
        It just sucks sometimes, ya know?…
        Since I also have mental-health & physical health shit that I’m dealing with (the ADHD & “edge of the Spectrum, and assorted other maladies), it’s just sometimes frustrating to feel like *I’m* expected to “understand & compromise,” when something that was my #1 hard boundary/red line is just expected to be ignored “because i need this!!!”
        Even though it is  a hard boundary/red line for me because it causes literal, PHYSICAL, symptoms–and will eventually result in additional physical illnesses like sinus, ear, & bronchial infections,  if it persists.🙃
        I’m just tired of–aside from the near-year i lived at the townhouse with my last roommate–feeling like I’m expected to tiptoe around & constantly acquiesce to the untreated/ undertreated Mental Illnesses of my roommates, while they can declare carte blanche to ignore things I need to stay physically healthy enough to make the rent we ALL need me to pay in order to live here…wherever “here” is.🙃

        • And on top of the physical illness part?
          It’s just also incredibly frustrating to have grown up in a household where I literally reeked of smoke (and dealt with some minor bullying about it on occasion–not bad, or anything near what some folks do–but it hurt like intended, anyway.), and now know that–even though I purposefully  kept my books outside, in the garage, when I livedcat the other place with smokers–so the books didn’t pick up those smells–when I move out of here?
          Everything i own is gonna stink at least mildly like ashtray💔

        • …I may just be some random internet stranger & all…but imho that shit ain’t right

          …like I said, I wish I had some clever suggestion about how to get them to knock off the part where they’re being an asshole but it sounds like there’s a backstory to why they’re wedded to the idea that this is what they need to the point of finding problems with alternative suggestions

          …it’s probably not untrue that the process required to, say, infuse butter in order to make edibles might create more of a smell but I’d have thought the difference would be that a) in theory nothing is being burned so it’s not a passive smoke issue & b) as far as I know that aroma doesn’t come with the contact high part (although I could be wrong since I’ve not been around it)

          …the situation sucks & (particularly if you specified that you wouldn’t be ok with it before agreeing to the living situation) ignoring that is about the definition of a dick move in my book

          …it simply isn’t reasonable on any level to do something that you say they agreed not to do, that adversely effects both your studies & your ability to do what’s necessary to pay the rent (which as you point out they need as much as you do) & expect you to just roll with it…& my guess would be that they know it…hence the flying off the handle anytime it looks like they might be confronted with having to admit that

          …with a reasonable person I’d try to explain that but under the circumstances (unless the fiancé is willing to work on that as a proxy) I guess there’s a limit to what you can do on that side of things…which leaves making it clear that if it continues this way you won’t be able to continue living there

          …that sounds like it’s something you’d find difficult to have to make good on so I hope it doesn’t come to that…but making it clear that you’re looking for somewhere else & that if you find a workable option you’re out of there might force them to re-think their position?

          …I don’t know…& it doesn’t sound like you have the time/energy to spare for hunting for a new spot…but to be honest it doesn’t sound like you should just be expected to put up with having to accommodate them when they’ve reneged on part of the basis on which you agreed to live with them…that’s disrespectful as well as more than a bit manipulative if they’re basically relying on you not having a choice

Leave a Reply