Aw Snap! [DOT 4/6/21]

We made it guys; it’s Friday!


Rep. Mo Brooks says he isn’t hiding from an insurrection lawsuit after Rep. Eric Swalwell hired a private investigator to find him


French Open: world No 1 Ash Barty retires from tournament with hip injury


AMC CEO Adam Aron urges shareholders to support plan to issue 25 million shares

bLuE liVes mAtTEr

‘I thought I was going to lose my life’: Capitol Police officers share their harrowing January 6 stories for the first time


F. Lee Bailey, defense lawyer for the famous and infamous, dies at 87

The perfect headline does not exi…..

Have a great Friday!



  1. Forever more I will be haunted by the fear of being attacked by a sex toy-equipped drone. This is not so far-fetched. Twice a year my dog gets mercilessly persecuted by a mockingbird that must nest around here (I think on the roof of the building next door) and will swoop down, hover, and screech in my dog’s ear. Those things are LOUD. My poor dog is terrified of it. When it’s mockingbird season I have to carry a sheaf of papers with me to shoo it away but it is relentless. Mockingbird season only lasts for a few days at a time. I wonder what it’s doing? Maybe protecting freshly laid eggs? Do mockingbird eggs only take 3 or 4 days to hatch?
    6 AM and already I’m bored. The invalid’s life is not for me.

    • Birds are evil. I don’t remember who posted about crows chasing squirrels into roads to murder them for food, but I actually witnessed such an event this weekend. I was dumbfounded. I’m like “I read about this on DeadSplinter” and now my family thinks I frequent a serial killer website or something. 

      • ’twas me. Watch out for the caw!

    • Your problem is waking up early enough to be bored by 6AM.

      Mrs. Butcher rehabilitates birds, and one time she brought an adult mockingbird into the house.  He was actually a very good house guest and was a lot of fun to have around.  I tried to teach him how to sing some James Brown horn riffs but he never picked it up.

      • Once they completely infiltrate your home, you will be eliminated. If you don’t believe me, then believe Alfred Hitchcock. Your days are numbered. 

      • My dogs have trained me well over the years. Plus, my five week institutionalization got me used to sleeping in 2-hour increments, not that I was constantly visited during the night, but because these facilities are 24-hour workplaces, and the nurses chat in the hallways and the patients sometimes have needs. I was a good 30 years younger than everyone else but everyone else had surprisingly robust lung power, so at 2 AM you’d hear someone call out “NURSE! NURSE! I NEED HELP! NURSE!” rather than using their call button. 
        I basically took short naps for five weeks but I’m slowly getting better.

    •  We have a mockingbird that has moved into the lorapetalums in the side yard. It won’t let the bluebirds move into the bluebird house, but it lets other birds drink from our fountain and the gold finches eat the coreopsis heads. I’ve also noticed less cat poo in the raised beds so…win win unless you’re a bluebird?

    • I had Robins who not so wisely nested on the window ledge above my main door.
      It’s not a bad place for wind/weather, but not other birds.  I suspect some crows or Jays ate their eggs.  Just goes to show that birds are mean ass motherfuckers to other birds (and not as advertised Disney cutie pies) which shouldn’t be surprising as they are descendants of dinos.

      • I read an article about burglars and things people can do to dissuade them from robbing you (basically, you make the house next door a more attractive target but I digress).
        One dog is nothing. They have a variety of tricks for that. Two dogs will give them pause, but it’s best, for some reason, if one is big and the other little. 
        According to this article, best home defense? A bird. Particularly a big noisy bird like a parrot. If you’re into exotic pets, an owl terrifies burglars. Seems that birds are insanely territorial and once they’ve declared ownership of your house, only their servants are allowed inside. If they’re big enough to have serious beaks and claws, they will defend their territory viciously. Birds like parrots will imprint on their owners (Ha! They own YOU.) and if you’re not part of the flock, they will come for you. 

        • When we had our African Gray, she would have terrified a robber.  She would call my name in my dad’s voice, say “hello” whenever the phone rang and then have whole conversations with laughter and pauses.  When our cat got too close to her she would roar like a lion and that cat would flee.  If you didn’t pay attention to her when she was out of her cage, she would come find you and force the issue.  Parrots usually only bond with one person and will defend that person but she actually was nice to me and my dad.  Anyone else that pissed her off, she would say “fuck you” in a deep voice.  I found out later my brother’s friend taught her that, he must have taunted her because she only said it when she was really pissed.  

          • My old boss managed a pet store, and they had an African Gray there for sale. He would talk to it and feed it every day because, y’know, it was his job. A district manager came around and warned him that the bird was imprinting on him, and he either needed to sell it soon or buy it. He managed to sell it, fortunately, ’cause the price tag was up in the hundreds of dollars. He was like, even with my employee discount it was a month’s rent. 

    • I take someone trying to kill me rather personally and would be yelling and screaming, but I am not a kiss ass weenie by nature. 
      Racist Bannon has always been a kiss ass weenie and will always be a kiss ass weenie. 
      I can see why Trump viewed Pence as expendable in the grand (well grand for Trump) scheme.

      • Personally, yeah. Pence’s family was there. And he’s like, oh, good people on both sides. “Kiss ass weenie” doesn’t begin to cover it. 

        • He is so pathetic and spineless that he lacks the basic human reaction to being killed. 
          No wonder his phony tough guy act made me laugh.  A living Ken Doll.

  2. That juggler looks like my old next door neighbor, thought he moved to Florida which could explain it.  Does anyone remember this comedian/juggler that did it a little different?

    • My grandfather was a very good juggler, and I very much regret that I never asked him to teach me how.

      • I tried to teach myself and it never went well, worst than my short lived attempts at yoyo tricks.  

      • A friend of mine was able to juggle while riding a unicycle. Not sure if he still can — this was a LONG time ago and I don’t see him often, though I work with his oldest daughter. He used to ride a unicycle to class at college. He’d just drop in on the ground and go inside. I’m like, won’t somebody steal it? And he said, nah, why would they? Who else can ride it? 
        It got stolen. 

        • I’m tempted to leave my manual transmission car unlocked for the same reason but I know there are still a good number of us who know how to drive these.

          • Manual transmission is something you don’t forget, but the last time I did it I needed a few minutes to get smoothed out. It was my nephew’s Jaguar. Fortunately, my nephew was not in it with me. That was probably 5 years ago. 

            • That’s a hell of a way to try to get back into the saddle.  Ages ago, when I was married to my first wife, we were visiting her father and he gave us the keys to his Firebird to get around so we didn’t need to rent a car.  I drove it for a week and it was a sweet ride.  After the trip was over and we flew back home, I got in my 3-cylander Chevy Sprint(!) and when I went to start the car I almost put my foot through the floor because the clutch was so much weaker compared to the Firebird.  It took me about another week to quit stomping on the clutch.

              • I had manual up until my daughter was born 18 years ago. My wife CAN NOT manage shifting. My father-in-law, who was much more patient than me, told me flat-out just don’t even try. Buy her an automatic and just. don’t. do. it. I did try once, but yeah, she can’t get her hands and feet on the same page. 
                When my daughter was born I decided that my car had to be something my wife could drive in case of an emergency. So I traded my manual transmission in on an automatic and hid my tears. 
                Funny thing is you could probably count on the fingers of two hands the number of times my wife has actually driven my truck(s) in those 18 years.  

                • That was one of the things that attracted me to my wife, was the fact that she drove a 5 speed.  The car that I have now used to be hers, and when we went to the lot to take a look at it, the salesman drove it up and apologized because it was a manual.  We had to tell him that this was exactly why we were there because they’re so hard to find.  The car that she has now is an automatic because we just had to give up trying to find a manual for her that was relatively new and in good condition. 

                  I’m hoping my car lasts long enough for us to save enough money to buy a small truck because we need to just stop trying to do truck things with cars.  Unfortunately, it’s even harder to find a truck with a manual transmission than a car these days.

  3. woohooo…i finally got to make an appointment
    9 more days till i too have 5g reception and an overwhelming urge to buy microsoft products

    its about damn time

  4. Something to make y’all chuckle;

    Dude’s got bigger/darker circles under his eyes than I do, and I’ve slept like HELL more than half this week!
    Also, how does this Dougherty manage SO well, to look like the embodiment of an irl disney-villian?

  5. Douchebro… not Dougherty… where in the hell does my stupid autocorrect KEEP getting these words/names i never use, and LOSING the ones I do?!???😒🙄😖

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