Hi, friends!
I hope your day is going well. Tonight’s NOT is brought to you by embarrassing myself at work.
Listen we all do awkward things and sometimes bodies do things that are not ideal for around others.
For example, I had just taken a large drink of tea right before heading to a meeting and this coincided with a cough which then meant I inhaled some of the tea, sputtered it all over myself, and kept coughing.
Anyways, I keep a stash of napkins at my desk, so at least I was able to clean up quickly once I stopped hacking up tea.
Still better than an accidental audible fart.
The beverages are sentient.
Right as my last conference call started, I knocked over a full glass of iced coffee on my desk. FUN. “Cleanup on aisle stumblebum.”
I was going to a job interview, wearing my very professional white blouse and black skirt combo and spilled coffee on my shirt. There was no hiding it so I went in and said, “Yes I did just spill coffee all over myself!” I got the job anyway.
And thus starts my favorite Deadsplinter Letters to Penthouse.
😂
I managed to dribble mustard all over a shirt at lunch once. Mustard does not come out. I drove to a Kmart (yeah, this was probably 12 years ago) and bought another shirt. Changed in the parking lot. Threw the stained shirt away.
I was not going to walk around the rest of the day explaining the stain.
I was in the office today and there was a woman there whose shoes creaked in a way that sounded like she was farting every time she walked somewhere. I was amazed that she didn’t seem to notice because it was…not subtle.
Man if I had fart shoes, I’d intentionally wear them to the office and giggle at my own entertainment.
It’s amazing that I’ve been at my company for years and they keep me around.
Obligatory:
I had one of those coughing fits earlier. They’re even worse when you’re on the phone and can’t find the mute button on the particular app you’re using.
i stand during meetings nowadays
i snore when i fall asleep sitting down….management no likey
it was the only solution i could think of as i cant get out of the meetings