Biff Showed Up at the Daytona 500 to Get Cheered

Papaya Pol Pot knows that, if he wants to win in November, he has to maintain his base of mouth breathers and white people who can’t be bothered to *checks notes* vote for an actual human being. To that end, President Donald Trump and his personal fembot wife Melania Trump showed up at Sunday’s Daytona 500, pretending to be excited to watch a bunch of guys drive in a circle for hours.

Trump cares about NASCAR about as much as he cares about his sons and Tiffany Trump; barely at all, if he can be arsed at all. No, this was just the latest in a brazen attempt for Trump to seem more popular than he is, and to convince his collection of Milwaukee’s Best drinking supporters that he’s not an aloof, criminal (allegedly) multi-millionaire who wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire.

“NASCAR fans never forget that no matter who wins the race, what matters most is God, family and country,” Trump said to the crowd, which is rich, considering the big stupid asshole is notoriously unreligious, has been married three times and seems to only want to deal with one of his children because he thinks it’s the easiest way he can literally go fuck himself, and has repeatedly embarrassed the country on a national and global stage.

Despite declaring Florida his new home state after New York told him to get fucked, Trump only has a 49 percent approval rating there, and only narrowly won the big, stupid, beautiful state in 2016. So it makes sense that he would show up and act like he gives a shit about anyone in the audience. It’s a nakedly obvious ploy to curry favor in a race that will probably once again be decided in a stupidly narrow race.

So good on Biff for going to a place where he knew he’d get cheered by a large portion of the audience. He’s still the worst President in modern history and still an asshole, and here’s hoping there were at least some people in the audience who realized what a cynical ploy this was.

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About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.

12 Comments

  1. My parents watch NASCAR and I was over there yesterday; this was a complete farce. We muted the TV when he spoke. And there’s no doubt his presence is why so much of the race has to be run today. It’s like God was crying at Daytona for having this shithead there at all.

  2. Watching Trump at Nascar is my idea of a living hell, but I’m not sure what to make of this in Politico.
    Supposedly, 31,0000 repub voters turned out for the dotard for the Iowa caucus – even though he really had no one to run against him. 129 696 votes in New Hampshire. That seems really high for someone who is a shoo in for the nomination.

    https://www.politico.com/news/2020/02/16/trump-campaign-voter-turnout-115338

    • …can’t say for sure or anything but this bit:

      “The massive turnout is a reflection of organic enthusiasm among conservatives and a sophisticated effort by Trump’s campaign to rev up its get-out-the-vote machine ahead of the general election.”

      …I would bet heavily on the “organic” support being negligible & largely composed of the sorts of people who don’t understand that the phrase “vote early, vote often” is meant to be a joke

      …with the other 97% or so being driven (literally or metaphorically) to the primary vote by a campaign that is to knowing there’s no legitimate way to win what his every word & deed is to demonstrating consciousness of guilt?

  3. Fanta Hitler doing this shit brings us just that much closer to the eventual Death Race championships to celebrate some inane milestone or anniversary during the reign of one of his inbred relatives.

    Also, not that anyone of you are as automotive-obsessive as I am, but just avoid reading the article about this on The Drive. It’s basically the_dotard but on a public forum filled with cretins who know absolutely nothing about anything but think they are literal experts. I feel a bit sorry for the ex-Jalop editor (Patrick George, I think) running the show over there now. What a cesspool to have to wade into.

    For my own sanity I had to remove the entire site from my daily auto news sources just because of the drooling morons that comment there.

  4. ““NASCAR fans never forget that no matter who wins the race, what matters most is God, family and country,” Trump said to the crowd”

    You are right, rich is about the best word to describe this line. I was trying to think if there are 3 things that trump actually cares less about. Maybe taxes, law, and monogamy? Honestly probably a tie between the 2 lists.

  5. Him doing this shit brings us just that much closer to the eventual Death Race championships to celebrate some inane milestone or anniversary during the reign of one of his inbred relatives.

    Also, not that anyone else is as automotive-obsessed as I am, but just avoid reading the article about this on The Drive. The comments section there is basically the_dotard. Just filled with cretins who know absolutely nothing about anything but think they are literal experts.

    For my own sanity, I had to remove the entire site from my daily auto news sources. I feel slightly bad for the ex-Jalop editor running the show over there now (Patrick George, I think?).

  6. Daaaayum.

    I didn’t realize the race got delayed yesterday, just after imPOTUS left.

    And then the wreck today… just Ugggggggh💔

    It’s stomach-turning, any time you see a hit/wreck like that, where the cage gets SO whomped. Especially when there isn’t at least a hand/some fingers wiggling after she stops.

    Hopefully the stories saying Newman was talking are the ones who’ve got it right, and hopefully the cage & the rest of his protective gear did what it was supposed to do💖💞💗

  7. Sorry about the double post. I edited my first one and it disappeared entirely when I loaded the page again.

    Sigh…

    • …sometimes they get hung up somehow…but if you bear with us we can normally shake them free once someone notices

      …so if you can keep the faith you should be able to skip the doubled up thing if it should happen again?

  8. Then there’s this fucking shit: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/17/us/politics/dating-trump.html

    Did you all know being a Trumper makes it hard to get dates? I know, I know, hard to believe it right? Despite the fact that Stephen Miller somehow actually managed to find a wife so awful she was willing to work for Motherfuckin’ Mike.

    • These screeds designed to drum up pity for the poor fascists that have a hard time meeting other fascists to bang crop up on an annual basis.

      Never fuck Republicans/Trump voters.

      • They didn’t allow comments on the article, which was probably the smartest thing they could do with it. So I’ll just put what I was going to say there, here.

        “I don’t care if they date! I don’t want to know if they fuck! Who does?! Who is this for, the rednecks who don’t read NYT anyway but have a burning need to know if Stephen Miller fucks?”

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