BREAKING NEWS: Very Stable Genius President Who Insists COVID-19 is Behind Us is Pissed Off After One of His Valets Tests Positive for the Virus

I'm not saying I want him to catch it, I'm just saying I wouldn't cry if he did.

If Donald Trump thought the worst of the coronavirus was behind us, he got a sufficient wake-up call when, on Wednesday, one of his personal valets tested positive for the disease.

In a White House where basically no one is wearing a mask or taking any sort of social distancing and isolation measures, this is a capital letter BIG DEAL, seeing as though it typically takes a week or more for symptoms to begin to manifest. That means this valet has been walking around the White House for a while, potentially as carrier to the disease, potentially exposing everyone. Trump was reportedly “upset” at the news, according to CNN.

Trump and Vice President Mike Pence were immediately tested for COVID-19 and the results came back as negative, which I will dutifully and definitely truthfully inform you is not a total bummer. But maybe COVID-19 so close to home will make the President second guess his aggressive attempts to re-open the country.

…I mean, actually it won’t, but it’s nice to think about.

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About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.

15 Comments

    • Thoughts ‘n Prayers, RIP, Thoughts’nPrayers…

      You ca choose *what* those thoughts are, and how those prayers are phrased, of course!😉😈😈

      “Couldn’t happen to a more fitting Prez!” *could* be one train of thought, for example……………..

      😈😉🤣

  1. I read sometimes you can test negative for several days after exposure. Now I am far from a religious man but if ever a time to take up prayer, now is it!

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