Welcome to this week’s installment of C U Next Tuesday, where I scoop a few turds out of humanity’s toilet and list the reasons to flush them.
I wanted to learn a little more about the figures leading us to our
glorious rapture the brink of war, and exactly what motivation they might have to do so.
Cuntretary of Defense: Mark Esper
Yeah these word-plays are getting tough.
This motherfucker is a real grade A cunt and he was totally off my radar until the past couple weeks. I’m sure there is more to him but I’m real fixated on one aspect of his cuntery.
- He spent years as the top lobbyist for (and currently owns stock in) Raytheon – yeah, that Raytheon – and now sits in a position to make that company and himself a lot of fucking money off of decimating the entire Middle East (and only Liz Warren wanted to call him out on this in his confirmation hearing)
- Thanks to an agreement with the Office of Government Ethics, he’d recused himself from matters that would affect Raytheon financially, but that expired in November and he refused to extend it.
- “Esper refused when Warren demanded that he commit to not working for any defense contractor for four years after leaving his Pentagon job and that he extend a two-year ethics commitment due to expire in November that forces him to avoid decisions involving Raytheon.”
- Knowing his history, and that the recusal extension was not on the table, still 90 fucking Senators voted to confirm him last year. Presidential hopefuls were among the only ones to vote against him, except Sanders, who did not vote.
- Esper has contradicted Trump in our recent crisis, saying he has seen no evidence of an “imminent” threat from Iran. However, of course, just because he hasn’t seen the evidence doesn’t mean Trump isn’t right. So he’s continuing to stan for Trump, essentially saying, “there is no evidence that Trump is telling the truth, but I have a good feeling about this.” So he’s either the Defense Secretary who hasn’t seen intel that Trump has, or everyone’s lying and confused.
Cuntstache: John Bolton
Yosemicunt Sam Yocuntime Sam Yosemite Cunt Cuntsemite Sam Cuntsemicunt Scunt (yep that’s the one) has been a cunt in the public eye for decades.
A quick timeline of Bolton’s cuntery leading up to the Trump era:
- In the ’70s, Bolton enlisted in the Maryland National Guard, specifically to avoid being drafted in to Vietnam. He used that fact once to prove he is not pro-war.
- As an assistant attorney general in the Reagan administration, he tried to block the investigation into Iran-Contra by saying independent counsels were unconstitutional.
- As Under Secretary of State in GWB’s administration, he struck a deal to keep the International Criminal Court from prosecuting Americans under international law.
- He publicly and falsely claimed the Cuba was developing nukes.
- He also later pushed the same lie about Iraq, long after it was discredited and people were moving away from it. In fact, he was basically #1 Iraq liar. As in, if you believe Republicans, the person who tricked GWB.
- For a short time in the Bush administration, he served as the ambassador to the UN, despite wanting to actively destroy it. But he was a recess appointment because the Senate would not confirm him.
- In the meantime before Trump, he spent time building up his conservative support hanging around some right wing think tanks.
- Generally, he has advocated for just bombing the fuck out of everyone, disregarded the House calling him to testify in the impeachment hearings so he can save it all for his juicy book (and saying he will go if the Senate calls him, knowing they won’t), and is generally the fucking worst.
- He is one of the people controlling Trump who is trying to invoke the fucking end of the world, as well, which I think gets overlooked.
John Bolton will not save us. Remember that list every time you think you want him to testify; his only goal is to destabilize the world order, and if he testifies against Trump, it’s to that end.
Evangelicunt: Mike Pompeo
He hardly needs an introduction, but I wanted to dive deeper into his past cuntery.
- As is stated in every story ever written about him, he is a West Point graduate. People question how he can be such a lying liar while upholding his West Point code of ethics (to which I’d ask, do you think all those white military men you graduate abide by those principles?)
- His pre-politics career involved being an indirect profiteer of war by starting an aerospace largely funded by the Kochs.
- And when he ran for Congress, he himself was funded by the Kochs as their top donation recipient that year.
- In Congress, he was about as shitty as any Republican gets, including sponsoring a bill in 2015 called the Born Alive Abortion Survivors Act., which doesn’t sound all that insidious if you are a believer of conservative propaganda, but it is. It wasn’t the first of its kind, and it isn’t the last.
- A couple years ago, people were spreading the lie that he served in the Gulf War. The lie started on Wikipedia, but is still suspiciously part of the story he allows those around him to tell.
- We know the more recent history, so I won’t go into it, but I will link to this article about him being part of the coalition trying to bring the end of the world and what Iran has to do with that.
Add your own cunts below, big and small!
See last week’s inaugural installment here.