C U Next Tuesday: Show us your own CUNT!

I am a failure and lost track of time and didn’t have time to get a proper installment of CUNT done this week (where I take the worst people humanity has to offer and make a handy list about their worst qualities). So, this will act as an open thread focused on who you hate most! I’ve come up with a list to get you started:

  • All current Republicans.
  • Many Democrats.
  • Ken Starr (murdering us slowly through irony).
  • Most of your bosses.
  • Everyone on the internet except us.
  • The white people at a community meeting I went to last night trying to get the city to reject money to fix up a park and playground so that kids didn’t come there and interfere their use of it as an illegal dog park, with one recent transplant from Pittsburgh telling a black grandmother who lived there her whole life that her grandkids weren’t going to play in the park anyway, as she had shown up to ask for some specific measures for one of her grandkids who is a disabled person.

Also, I’ve had an exhausting few days of sexist fuckery in my work life the past week (this time of year, I build stuff, and I run into lots of Men Who Are Better At Tools Than Me), so I’m going to go ahead and say: all the men I’ve interacted with in the past week!

Read past installments of C U Next Tuesday here.

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30 Comments

    • I don’t hate all men but this week is testing my patience. I’m not a woodworking master but I know how to do shit, and when I’m about to start something and people are jumping in front of me to let them do it instead…it makes me tired. I’m not working with these fuckers next year.

      • I left my job because of a man inserting himself into my project, one I helped develop. He mansplained so obnoxiously, and I was already on the downhill slide to a serious depression so I quit. I found out later he was furious that he had to take responsibility for the project. He didn’t want to take it over, just make me do it his way. I totally feel you!

      • FYI, I don’t know why one of your comments was in spam while all the rest are fine. I guess the internets were being cunty! Anyway I pulled it out because no grays here.

  1. Oh my god, that community meeting. I am a dog person, but a lot of dog people can be added to your list.

    Also, I would nominate the following for future lists.

    Prince Andrew – The Aristocunt
    Boris Johnson – London Cunting
    Margaret Court – Maggie Cunt
    Jair Bolsonaro – Alt-Cunt
    Franklin Graham – Christian Cuntservative

    Apologies if they’ve appeared in previous versions. I can’t go through all of them right now.

  2. I know this will be an unpopular opinion but Saturday Night Live is a cunt. I know humor can be an effective tool of resistance but SNL is peak white liberal in action. trump appeared as a guest in 1989, and hosted the show twice, once during his campaign. NBC saved trump from bankruptcy with The Apprentice, earned enormous revenues from it’s 15 seasons, and gave him visibility. Sure, they now lampoon trump but look at some of the people they cast – Alec Baldwin, a major cunt in his own right, the opposite side of the trump coin as tiny hands himself. Matt “let me whitemansplain racsim to a Black woman director” Damon as Brett Kavanaugh. And Scarlet Johansson as Ivanka. ScarJo is the poster child for Complicit! From her terrible and entitled casting decisions whining that she should be able to play anything, including a tree, because she’s an ACTOR, to her defense of Woody Allen, and last but not least, giving up her Oxfam ambassadorship to shill for SodaStream when they were still based in the West Bank. I cringe every time someone tells me about the hilarious SNL trump admin sketch. Because it feels a little bit like we’re also the butt of the joke.

    • I’ll give you a partial agreement on SNL, I totally see your points. Maybe I’ll give you full credit if you don’t include the original cast, without that group you have eliminated all my favorite movies from my youth. Also, I thought the President Show did a better job impersonating the president and blame him some for it being cancelled (no logic to prove my point on that one.)

      • What is it with you kids today??

        No love for That’s my Bush?? 😉

        ETA: SNL also gave W the white house with Will Ferrell’s impression as the awe shucks dude. Like many things, this didn’t start with Trump. They gave Ray-guns the kid gloves treatment too and we all know the HW Bush impressions that Dana had that made him out to be your kind and gentle grandpa.

        • That was the best thing about the President Show, they didn’t try to make him likeable. They made him a narcissistic, childish, stupid asshole that everyone had to ass kiss. A REAL reality show! They actually nailed Trump’s actions before Trump did a few times!

    • How about people yelling at everyone that other people were on the plane. We all know that and of course feel for them, but people grow up with (if you will) entertainers, so when they die, it is close to something inside us, our memories etc. Otherwise, if everyone walked around sad about every persons death everyday, we’d be quite a lot more depressed than we currently are.

  3. Putting the ‘offensive’ in Offensive Coordinator, this cunt:

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2020/01/27/grand-valley-coach-hitler/

    “This is probably not going to get a good review, but I’m going to say Adolf Hitler,” Berger replied. “It was obviously very sad and he had bad motives, but the way he was able to lead was second-to-none. How he rallied a group and a following, I want to know how he did that. Bad intentions of course, but you can’t deny he wasn’t a great leader.”
    Bet his new bosses did nazi that coming!

  4. ““criminals” is wypipo cod for people of color”

    Yep!!!

    That was EXACTLY why the folks in my last town were TERRIFIED when there was talk of the Northstar Commuter Rail line going along I-94, rather than up US(?) Highway 10, where it will eventually connect MSP with St. Cloud.

    My nearly-glow-in-the-dark white neighbors were spreading ALL sorts of rumors that “*People* from NORTH MINNEAPOLIS (aka black folks–these neighbors ARE racist, I’m just gonna be honest) are going to start getting driven up here in vans, breaking into houses, then taking the train back to The Cities!!!!!!”

    Never mind the fact that 1. Unnowm Black folks just out wandering the neighborhood over there WOULD get the cops called, because THESE FOLKS ARE RACIST & WOULD 100% call the cops if they saw more than two black people walking together…
    2. The train only goes *into* the City in the morning–meaning that, AGAIN, the cops would be called–this time, because of “People suspected of being prowlers!!!”–because the neighborhood was racist, and many of them would TOTALLY call the cops if a bunch of black folks they didn’t know were walking around *outside of daylight hours*

    And 3. The thing I never understood in this OBVIOUSLY RACIST panic-talk was *how in the hell* these supposed “criminals” were supposed to get away with their crimes–they were going to be black folks riding back from (or perhaps it was out to?) a VERY white community (demographically). Then those same black folks were going to break into houses–somehow UNnoticed, and simply carry ALL SORTS of pilfered loot back to the train…

    Because THAT wouldn’t arouse any suspicions… someone just walking onto the train with… I dunno… hunting rifles, ski gear, a rolling toolbox, or a damn snowblower?!?…
    Seriously?!?
    In that case, *Soooomeone* would PROBABLY have noticed *something* appearing to be just a bit strange, and AGAIN, would call the cops.🙄🙄🙄

    In all honesty & truthfulness, it was 100% transparent, that the real issue was that the neighbors who were most concerned about “the criminals” they feared would arrive were simply racist, and evidently took a GINORMOUS amount of comfort in the fact that, (until that point) there was literally an hour’s drive between them & the community of black folks they feared.

  5. My CUnT punching candidates are as follows:

    Paula White, Dolt45 “Spiritual Advisor” & Prosperity-Gospel peddler https://www.huffpost.com/entry/paul-white-trump-satanic-pregnancies-miscarry_n_5e2e66ccc5b67d8874b4fd7c

    Susan, “Oh, Maybe I’ll really stand up for something *this* time!” Collins (honestly, think of her as The Human Mad Lib, and let her just, “I’m VERY *Adjective* about *Noun*” away–pro tip, she’s 100% not Adjectived about that noun enough to actually DO anything to change it’s trajectory🙄🤮🤥)
    This is this weekend’s “I’m (Adjective) about (Noun),” but there are tons of previous ones, as we ALL know:
    https://www.mediaite.com/tv/susan-collins-says-shes-very-likely-to-support-witnesses-at-trump-trial-gaps-need-to-be-cleared-up/

    Pam Bondi, former AG, who let the Trump University case go in Florida:
    https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/09/donald-trump-pam-bondi-donation
    https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2019/11/pam-bondi-dives-into-the-swamp/
    https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a30682720/pam-bondi-trump-impeachment-defense-john-roberts/

    He who doth NOT represent me (thank GOD that’s literally and *not* just figuratively true anymore!!!!😁🤗😈), for his BS *plausible deniability* schtick, where he says shit like this about “Send her back” having no place in the Republiwon’t party (because, let’s face it, they CAN do shit, but they WON’T🤬), and walking in Selma across the Edmund Pettus bridge on the 50th Anniversary, yet allowing the NRCC to run racist ads WHILE HE’S CHAIR.
    Dude’s a bullshit artist extraordinaire, and an asshat
    https://bringmethenews.com/minnesota-news/rep-tom-emmer-accused-of-anti-semitism-in-letter
    https://www.minnpost.com/national/2019/08/the-nrcc-is-accusing-democrats-of-antisemitism-including-jewish-members-of-congress/
    This ad ALSO happened under Emmer’s watch:
    https://news.yahoo.com/republican-nrcc-darken-colin-kaepernick-skin-ad-134501694.html

    Also, have we actually dug into Miller, the neonazi-extraordinaire?
    He needs to be CUnT-punched into the sun.

  6. CUNT nomination: Clearview AI investor David Scalzo:

    Clearview declined to provide a list of law enforcement agencies that were on free trials or paid contracts, stating that it was more than 600.

    That number is lower than what one of Clearview’s investors bragged about on Saturday. David Scalzo, an early investor in Clearview through his firm, Kirenaga Partners, claimed in an interview with Dilbert creator and podcaster Scott Adams that “over a thousand independent law enforcement agencies” were using the software. The investor went on to contradict the company’s public statement that it would not make its tool available to the public, stating “it is inevitable that this digital information will be out there” and “the best thing we can do is get this technology out to everyone.”

    https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanmac/clearview-ai-cops-run-wild-facial-recognition-lawsuits

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