Gary Bettman, or Gary Best Man Ever?

H/T to Alex Schmidt at 1900hotdog.com for writing this up earlier, but they have a paywall, so I thought I’d summarize the highlights.

A few months ago, the NHL had its draft lottery. It was a big deal! The team that won the #1 pick would get to pick Connor Bedard, who is seen as a generational player. Hockey fans were dying to know which team was the lucky one, just like basketball fans were dying to know which team would end up with Victor Wembanyama.

So how did the lottery go? Like, actually happen? Fortunately, we get to see Mr. Excitement, Gary Bettman, in action in this video clip.

Check out the production values! Bettman stands in front of some cheap office furniture and behind the ping pong ball dispenser that looks like a cotton candy machine at a middle school carnival.

I think my favorite part of the “studio” is what you can see on the right.

You can tell they take fire safety seriously, because there’s a prominent FIRE EXTINGUISHER sign. Of course, the fire extinguisher is hidden behind a plant, and it looks like two cords are strung in front of it too. And then there is another potted plant which is placed BEHIND the TV screen.

I’m no fire marshall, but something tells me none of this is part of the fire code.

Next, watch in excitement as he starts out holding up a copy of that day’s Bergen NJ Record, like a hostage holding up a paper in a photo taken by kidnappers to prove they were still alive.

On and on it goes like this for over ten minutes until they finally get around to actually dropping the ping pong balls into the cotton candy machine device responsible for the fate of mega-million dollar hockey franchises. Would you think this system can’t be rigged? Do you feel comfortable trusting your wagers to an online betting company in league with the NHL?

Anyway, it’s amazing that a multi-billion dollar league is run by a guy who looks like a former oligarch on the run from both Putin and Zelensky, in a studio that is about to be shut down by Fire Marshall Bill.

We should all thank 1900hotdog.com for writing this up first, and I’d definitely recommend people checking out their website. Where else can we learn about Gary Bettman’s commitment to quality?