(Lister’s note: I’m just ranking the songs; some versions are obviously better than others and occasionally are specified. But there are a million versions of the classics and I’m not going to rank the best version of “The Christmas Song”* because otherwise this would be 10,000 entries long.)
(* – It’s totally Nat King Cole, tho.)
1. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love
2. Sleigh Ride ***jazz band instrumental version***
3. All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey)
4. Christmas Eve/Sarajevo (Trans Siberian Orchestra)
5. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Andy Williams, of course)
6. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
7. O Holy Night
8. I’ll Be Home for Christmas
9. Winter Wonderland
10. Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
11. The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
12. Christmas Time is Here (Peanuts version)
13. Underneath the Tree (Kelly Clarkson)
14. This Christmas
15. Silent Night
16. Merry Christmas Darling
17. We Need a Little Christmas
18. Little Saint Nick
19. White Christmas
20. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas
21. Deck the Halls
22. Run Rudolph Run
23. The Christmas Waltz
24. Merry Christmas Baby
25. Christmas in Hollis
26. Joy to the World
27. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
28. A Holly Jolly Christmas
29. Mele Kalikimaka
30. Jingle Bells
31. Feliz Navidad
32. Step Into Christmas
33. Christmas Wrapping
34. Here Comes Santa Claus
35. Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
36. The Holly and the Ivy
37. Sleigh Ride (with lyrics)
38. Up on the Housetop
39. You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch
40. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays (NSYNC)
41. O Come All Ye Faithful
42. Hark the Herald Angels Sing
43. Jingle Bell Rock
44 Getting run over by a reindeer-powered sled
45. Santa Baby
46. Someday at Christmas
47. One More Sleep
48. Little Drummer Boy
49. Last Christmas
50. Wonderful Christmastime
51. Happy Xmas (War is Over)
52. Santa Tell Me – Ariana Grande
53 Blue Christmas
54. Fairytale of New York
55. Man With The Bag
56. Christmas Time is Here Again
57. Peace on Earth / Little Drummer Boy (David Bowie & Bing Crosby)
58. Father Christmas
59. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
60. Good King Wenceslas
61. Hard Candy Christmas (Dolly Parton)
62. Must Be Santa
63. Do You Hear What I Hear
64. Believe (Josh Groban)
65. Getting run over by a bus (novelty division)
66. Snoopy vs. The Red Baron
67. 12 Days of Christmas
68. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
69. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
70. Nuttin’ For Christmas
71. The Chipmunk Song
72. I Want a Hippomatamus for Christmas
73. All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)
74. Getting run over by every attendee of SantaCon
75. Frosty the Snowman
76. Jingle Bells (sung by dogs)
77. Every Pentatonix song but especially “Hallelujah” which isn’t even a fucking Christmas song WHERE DO THESE FUCKERS GET OFF WITH THAT SHIT
78. Do They Know It’s Christmas
79. Dominick the Donkey
80. Silver Bells
81. The Christmas Shoes
I was originally going to post links to all these songs but realized it would take me until Christmas 2021 to do all that … so, here’s the only one you need:
I cannot acknowledge this as being a legitimate list since it has no songs from my favorite Christmas album…
Is it Wednesday yet?
I’m pretty sure that’s someone else’s corner in Wednesday Metal 🙂
some lunatic at work keeps putting on sky radio…which this time of year means non stop christmas songs
its going to take me a little while to stop twitching at the mere thought of more christmas songs (and i actually like them…2 days a year)
i feel for the people working retail..being stuck with christmas music day in day out for months….im honestly shocked some of them come out of it relatively sane
So I married a Christmas Person and after all these years … she hasn’t exactly won me over, but I no longer cringe at holiday music so much.
But “Silver Bells” can get fucked. I hate that song.
eh…i dont mind christmas music…as in a song here or there
10 hours straight of it and i start getting a little….punchie
(its acceptable for the duration of christmas as drinking by noon is acceptable for that duration too…fairs fair…..)(coffee and baileys for breakfast still doesnt count as drinking)
anyways…as im twitching again already…here… a christmas song
oh also…as i just spotted hallelujah up there
yeah…..when did that become a christmas song?
radio seems to think its one nowadays…but thats a recent thing too
what did i miss?
at least the radio here only plays the cohen or buckley versions…(or ive somehow missed it when they played the pentatonix version…probably varies by station..and i mostly prefer old fogey fm..lol)
They included it on a their really popular Christmas album in the past few years and I blame that for it ending up in holiday music rotations … it is NOT a damn Christmas song! Even Zack Snyder knows this!
This is me. My manager put that garbage on THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING this year.
I fucking hate Xmas ear-assault. I won’t even call it music.
im sorry…
if you do end up murdering your manager i suggest you do it away from the cameras
(oddly enough…ive found storage to be generally camera free…cameras watching the loading bay…and cameras watching the storefront…and a big black hole in the middle…that might be just an over here thing tho)
I asked a retail person about it once. She said she no longer could hear it. Literally. It took effort for her to notice what song was playing at any given time.
I actually do the same for commercials. I don’t notice or even hear them. I think it’s because when I grew up we had 3 TV stations and they all had commercials. So you just shut them out. But it goes beyond tuning them out. My wife will comment on them occasionally and I don’t know what she’s talking about. She’ll say “IT WAS JUST ON” and I’m like, nope, don’t know what you’re saying.
I have a friend that just rabidly despises commercials, and will go to any lengths to avoid them. I find that utterly bewildering. I mean, they just don’t exist for me.
You’re missing Leon Redbone’s Christmas Island. I’ll forgive you because I’m assuming it’s his version of Winter Wonderland listed at #9
That is beautiful! I’m going to assume the Christmas Island he sings of was in Hawaii since the start of that song is part of Aloha Oe.
That whole album is good — I hate “Frosty” with a passion but his version is almost listenable.
This is a comprehensive list!
I said in an above comment that I married a Christmas Person so I spend a lot of time thinking about this!
It’s a grand Christmas list. I particularly endorse the presence of Le Tits Now, an oft overlooked choice.
That’s more of a “DeadSplinter After Dark” post 🙂
Mariah Carey at #3 makes this entire list null and void.
Yep, it’s wildly overplayed and has become the whipping girl of the season.
But you know what? ABSOLUTE BANGER. I’ll die on this hill.
Fair. I stand with you on this one, Butcher.
An obscure weird one to be placed somewhere at random
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QHp5KT8ZKOE
I didn’t know the Irish Rover (or Rovers) did a cover, but this was the version I have only heard for the last 38 years.
44, 65, and 74 should be 1, 2, and 3.
That’s it, you’re getting visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve…
Right now is the time I’d think Christmas music was acceptable if the person in my office ( who is retiring at the end of the year THANK FUCK!) didn’t play the radio station that plays non-stop Christmas music from the day after the Santa Claus Parade until NYE.
The Toronto Santa Claus Parade is on the SECOND SUNDAY OF NOVEMBER.
It’s missing some songs;
Dolly’s Smoky Mountain Christmas
I know this one’s IN there… but this is the DYLAN version!😆😂🤣🤣🤣😁🤗💖
The Late, Great, Joe Diffie’s classic;
The best 12 days, if you like cars;
And one from my childhood, by Alabama;
Sorry, the Dolly one didn’t link right!
Yeah, I haven’t actually HEARD Leroy in a solid decade and a half… there are some AWFUL & not ok parts in there….
Especially that flag bit, sorry!😖😬🤢
Yeeeesh! Not yeah!😖
…I guess the sled must have concussed me because the only tune on the christmas mixtape my family break out every year that doesn’t make me flinch a little is fairytale of new york
…but one thing I do know is it never quite feels like christmas until I hear noddy holder shriek “IT’S CHRIIIISSTMMAAASSS”…so here’s slade
I grew up Southern Baptist, and my father was a Southern Baptist minister. He couldn’t make a living at it (I’ll tell that story someday, or at least what I think) so he became an elementary school teacher, like my mother. However, we were NOT allowed to forget our obligations to Jesus (bizarrely my mother was more militant than my dad), and we were all required to go to church every. single. time. the doors opened. And let me tell you, with Southern Baptists that’s a LOT. There were many weeks where we went to church 12-13 times.
That lengthy preamble is the setup for me to say that the only Christmas music to me is hymns. Period. Silent Night, O Holy Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, etc. I don’t go in for the novelty stuff or the secular songs (Grinch songs are exempt from this statement, of course, as all people know). There are a couple other exemptions (The Christmas Song because of the story Mark Evanier tells about Mel Torme) but not very many. I’ll grudgingly tolerate your Rudolfs and whatnot, but those aren’t Christmas — they are momentary diversions or extended jokes that have gotten old. You put on hymns, I’ll listen to them forever. The other stuff wears thin in about 5 minutes.
Weird thing is that I haven’t believed in God since I was 8 (I never mentioned this to my parents). So there you go.
PS: Rocking Around the Christmas Tree is an abomination that no human should be forced to tolerate and if I ever have the chance I will expunge it from human existence and make playing it a capital offense.
…there’s a church in england for which they broadcast the carol service every year (I want to say on christmas eve but it might be on the day itself) & that always starts with once in royal david’s city…the first verse being a solo…it’s pretty christmas-y in a “high church” kinda way & I have relatives that would always tune in…some had been doing it since before there was tv to speak of so sometimes they’d just stick it on the radio but it’s definitely “a thing” so I kinda know what you mean?
All of them: dead last.
😈😈😈😈😈😈😈