Daytime Terrors!

Literature of the supernatural describes all kinds of nighttime terrors — The Headless Horseman riding after Ichabod Crane, Count Dracula menacing poor sleeping Lucy. But there are daytime terrors too.

Any parent can tell you of the creeping dread of potty training. And here we see an infant who is so far from the goal that all they can do so far is sit on the potty with their diaper still on.

Social scientist James Q. Wilson warned that defacement of property can lead to higher crime. Look at this reckless tagging. Scary!

Fall is a time when deer can leap out at random onto roads. Drivers beware!

Christmas is just around the corner. Do we really need a big load of looming judgmental busybodies? Here we see a reminder of Santa’s naughty and nice list, and a “Danger! Elves” sign that is clearly a reference to that made up BS Elf on a Shelf that was a hack marketing ploy from just a few years ago.

Right wingers have warned us to be careful of anything that doesn’t conform to their idea of traditional bodies. Look at these — what are they? Why are they blurring normality?

And look at these dolls. Everyone knows people have two hands. What is this three way stuff? Stark binaries, that’s all you get!

Here we see warnings about bleach drinking and not voting. Ross Doubthat would shake his head sadly that liberals think there is any serious threat to America.

And of course we all know the dangers of cholesterol. I bet that bun isn’t even whole wheat!

And what is ketchup even doing alongside a hotdog? Is nothing sacred anymore?