City Walks – Danger (And Other Signs)

27/2/24 blue dogcollar 8
tow away zone sign

Danger lurks all over cities in America, and if you’re lucky there will be a sign warning you of what is ahead.

For example, on my block we had several urgent signs alerting passersby. This one said:

Danger / You cood get / varey hert / Ples! Do not / Stop Whaaaa! / Ther is a sin

(Danger / You could get / very hurt / Please! Do not / Stop (Whaaaa!) / There is a sign)

And sure enough, there was another si(g)n. It said:

Danger / Do Not Stop / Ebyoolens

(Danger / Do Not Stop / Ambulance)

And finally,

Wowning / hol / do not step / waa awch

(Warning / hole / do not step / waa ouch)

You can see why people fear cities.

Meanwhile, other horrors await. The Jerry Lewis movie The Day The Clown Cried is due to become public in less than four months. Is America ready?

My city displays this honorary street sign for reasons I don’t know, although it is not a real street named after Jerry Lewis. To see that, you would have to go to Las Vegas, where Jerry Lewis Way intersects with Dean Martin Drive, a place that has seen at least one very real tragedy.

Once while walking I came across this note on an index card. I still shudder to think what it could have meant.

And let’s be honest. They’re trying to hook you in with the idea that your brain can control the robotic claw, but in the end we all know it’s the robotic claw that will control your brain.

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8 Comments

  2. …I don’t have a picture…but one I used to walk past a lot that was a favorite for years said…above the vehicle entrance to underground residents’ spots

    No Parking In Garage Area

    …it’s a fine line…or sometimes a broad white one in the shape of a box on the ground…but sometimes it can be very hard not to wind up the wrong side of it if you follow the signage?

  4. One of the many things that was surprising during the time I lived in Houston, Texas was the insufficiency of all sorts of signage.  On highways, in neighborhoods, everywhere.  My theory was that it had to do with the fact that the state government is more interested in burning books and taking away women’s rights than letting people know what exit is coming up.  I never confirmed that, but it seems right to me.

    • If you ever have the pleasure of driving along the Robert Moses-era collection of parkways in Westchester you’ll notice that none of them say “This way to NYC” or “Manhattan, 26 miles.” No. The exits will say [yet another parkway] or [street you’ve never heard of but you might vaguely know the town, but that is not disclosed and is on a need-to-know basis.]

      Luckily, Better Half used to work in Westchester and a couple of my best friends grew up there, so we can maneuver around, but it’s awfully irritating. More than once we’ve been side-armed onto the Tappan Zee (no one calls it the Mario Cuomo Bridge) and so we’re on the wrong side of the Hudson…

      I’m Matthew Crawley, and this is your Deadsplinter traffic update.

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