A family in Kansas City was held responsible for damage to a statue caused by their unsupervised child. The mother tried to deflect blame claiming that the community center is an athletic complex, the piece was not safely secured, and that she was watching her child and just out of frame of the video. But you can see from all angles that the parents aren’t visible and that the area of the venue is a gallery and not a playground. I was by no means a perfect parent. I understand how something like this could happen and I would have been sick about the bill. But I like to think I would have accepted my responsibility. Who knows? It seemed like a good story for what I’m calling Accountability Day.
I hope you’re having a better Monday than Mr. Bannon.
I really hope more things like this take place. For way, way, way too long, parents have treated the world like it is their babysitter and everyone just had to suck it up. That’s bullshit. You don’t have to beat your kid or keep them chained to your side. Just teach them basic fucking manners.
Spank the parents? I’m okay with that.
On the flight home yesterday, I was surrounded by parents with small kids. Normally, this would be the start of me whinging about how horrible my flight was. There were some really good parents (yes, I know that a crying baby isn’t always a parents fault) but they were mostly quiet so no crying from me
A revenge attempt gone wrong:
Part of the problem is that parents often ask more of their small children than they can handle. Don’t try to pack activities in up until the last minute then expect a small overstimulated child to behave in a plane!
This is something I don’t understand about modern life. On the one hand, children, up to and including teenagers, can not not be out of their parents’ sight, and the phone and Zoom calls are incessant if the spawn is not physically within leashing distance.
But on the other, when the parents are with their kids, the kids run wild and the parents seem to treat them like unstoppable forces of nature. I see (or saw) this over and over again in New York. I was at a cutesy bakery/café in my neighborhood and there were two women, each with a little boy. There was a huge horseshoe-shaped seating arrangement where they were sitting but plenty of room, so my friend (no fan of children, and very awkward around them) and I (bless the beasts and the children) plopped down.
Oh my God. The women, presumably the mothers, because they were white and seemingly affluent, not recent Caribbean immigrants, pretended the kids weren’t there. At one point one crawled onto my shoulders and head. The other one grabbed the remaining half of my pain au chocolat. My friend demanded we leave.
As we were leaving, I offered the women advice. “I assume your husbands have no more parenting spine than you do. IVF, was it? No testosterone? Low or non-existent sperm count? If I had acted up like your boys do my mother would have ensured that I wouldn’t be alive today.”
Not my finest hour.
I am not an advocate for helicopter parenting. But the time and place matter. Cafes are not parks and children should be supervised there. But why do you have to mention the women not being immigrants? You do know that immigrants can also be affluent. And that many nannys and au pairs are white and European. 🤨
I know, and it doesn’t really matter, but in my building there are nannies who let their charges run wild in the common areas, and they tend to be recent Caribbean immigrant women. I have nothing against Caribbean immigrant women, on the contrary. They’re the glue that is holding our health care system together. Throughout my various hospitalizations and rehabs I’ve had more Caribbean immigrant women roaming around below my waist (to clean me up and other stuff like that) than I have had romantic partners. I should write a song. “The Tender Touch Of The Woman From Anguilla.”
That’s not what this conversation is about. And I’m sure there are also nannies in your building, Caribbean and otherwise, who do not let their charges run wild. I find it curious that in a post that has nothing to do with nationality or ethnicity you feel a need to bring it up.
It’s because it’s descriptive and true. What am I supposed to say? The nannies, whose gender, preferred pronouns, national origin, age, background, all unknown, let their charges run wild. So do those whom I guess are their natural-born mothers.
This “conversation” isn’t really about anything except overprivileged, undisciplined children who are running things, like in that famous “Twilight Zone” episode.
I don’t really recommend this but when I was growing up (Grandpa Simpson Voice) most Moms were stay at home and mobs of us (tail end of the Baby Boom) would descend on various yards and garages and basements and wherever and the host-Mom, whether she volunteered or not, would keep an eye on us. Step out of line and you got a spanking. No one thought this was unusual and in fact if you didn’t administer justice swift and sure you got a little talking to at the next cookout or PTA meeting. Now, they’d call Child Protective Services and ship you off to some incredibly abusive foster home and bring the mother up on charges.
It’s funny. I’m old but not that old and I feel like I’ve lived four or five lifetimes. You must feel it even more acutely, as a mother, with all those milestones you’ve experienced with your daughter.
You can have an entire conversation about anything without mentioning people’s race or nationality unless it directly applies to the conversation. Don’t do it on my posts or I’ll have the comments deleted.
I’ve talked about this before, my brother and SIL never yelled at their children let alone raised a hand to them. They gave consequences even when it inconvenienced them. And when I was in HS I was able to take all three very young boys to the pool, the zoo, out for lunch or ice cream by myself with no problem. Their parenting philosophy was to educate not punish. And it worked.
I have to say, I rarely see this out in the wild — and as a parent I’m in a lot of spaces where kids are. There are some inattentive parents out there, for sure, and that’s annoying, but kids are kids and just teaching them manners doesn’t mean they’re going to land that plane 100% of the time, especially when they’re with other kids.
That said, I do think there are plenty of places where you find kids that you probably shouldn’t find kids (especially large groups of them) but that’s as much a reflection on what’s available for family entertainment as it is on parents trying to bring their kids everywhere by choice rather than by necessity.
And the cost of babysitters these day is astounding to me. Parenting is hard. And kids are going to mess up. I think it goes back to what I was saying about expectations for children. They can’t necessarily spend a long time at an adult event without becoming tire, bored, and both overstimulated and needing to burn off energy.
Well I think it goes back to what Matt said. When the parents just ignore their little angels and let them run roughshod all over the place then they need some fucking consequences. It’s a totally different story if you’ve got a kid having a meltdown and the parents are at least putting in an effort.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be Steve Bannons
Hopefully they’ll delouse him on intake. What does he have against personal hygiene, does he think the Deep State is in the pocket of Big Soap?
I want video of Bannon’s welcome to the pen.
I only wish trump would be held accountable too but I have no illusions about that. Particularly with the latest SCOTUS ruling. 🤬
Personal responsibility doesn’t extend to the preznit.
GOP Presidents that is. I’m sure they won’t extend the same to Biden.
I can’t stand parents that don’t watch their kids. I’ve had so many times when my girls were small that I just wanted to discipline kids that had never been told “no”. My girls at a young age recognized shitty behavior & luckily never copied it & always moved away from it.
About 20 years ago when my friends were starting to have kids, we ended up going to a restaurant outing for the evening. One couple couldn’t find a babysitter and brought their toddler to the restaurant. It didn’t go well as the kid started crying.
Normally, I’d be pissed off too, but they were so upset/horrified and were trying their best to calm their son down. We all put on a brave face and let it be. At least put some damn effort in.
I’m sure that if the video showed mom yelling and the kid didn’t listen then I’m guessing the city wouldn’t have slapped the brat’s parents as hard.
Her trying to say she was watching the child bugged the hell out of me. I parented a small child. I get how easy it is to slip up. But don’t deny you slipped up. I will defend the mother on one thing though. Why was the immediate response, “where is your mother?” Why not, “ where are your parents?” Why is the assumption that it’s only the mom’s responsibility to watch them?
How dare you expect the FATHER to do anything?
He’s the precious sperm donor and his job is done!
/s
/also a very old school Asian attitude/
A joy that works in both directions: I still can’t get my school district to call me first about things even though I’m the parent with more flexible hours who always handles it if my son has to leave early, and brings my son to school, and attends every school event, and helps him with homework, etc. etc. etc. No matter how every year I put my number first in file, they 100% call my wife first. It’s maddening sometimes!
Many parents don’t want to be bothered. But in all fairness I think people today are exhausted. The minutes they have to themselves are few and far between. But still, you can’t let your children infringe on everyone else’s leisure time either.
I have to call BS on the $132K price tag. There is zero chance that’s the market value of that piece. I seriously doubt it would have sold for 10% of that, very possibly even 1%. It was on display with a lot of art priced at $80 at the Tomahawk Ridge Community Center, and the reason it was there is almost certainly because no commercial gallery would show it.
I’m honestly surprised the insurance company paid the claim based on what appears to be just the artist’s valuation. They usually demand professional appraisals – if you have a fire or flood at home and you claim your destroyed painting was worth six figures, good luck collecting without serious backup.
Dogs Playing Poker and Velvet Elvis are classics!
It was signed by Picasso, but now that it’s burned up you’ll just have to take my word for it.
I also question the cost of the piece. My guess is the video was so damning the insurance company didn’t even want to argue.
They may have been gambling that the mom didn’t want the cost and bother of lawyering up, except at $132K they may have left her no option.
And if this does go to the lawyers, this has the potential to be ugly for everyone including the insurers and the artist. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a poorly written policy, someone granted the claim hoping it would all go away, and then someone else at the company choked at the amount and is scrambling to make up for it.
In terms of stories about reaponsibility, I think the biggest one is the insurance company needs to stand up and offer a mea culpa, except once lawyers are involved that’s hard to see.
I don’t expect anyone else to know who Joss Naylor was, but a big loss to the fell running community.
‘King of the Fells’ runner Joss Naylor dies aged 88
I had never heard of him before. Thanks for the article. It’s a big loss for his community.
That man must have had ankles made of steel. I was wincing imagining trying to run in that terrain.
Got into a screaming match with my mother yesterday. We get along better now that we live in different time zones but it still is pretty strained.
I’ll try to “long story short” this. My 95 y/o grandpa is in the hospital. He has advanced dementia and tried to kill himself. My uncle (mom’s brother) is his primary caregiver and has lived with grandpa for years. This mostly works because uncle is unemployed so has the time to do stuff around the house, take grandpa to appointments, etc. But grandpa and uncle don’t get along well, either, and this has only deteriorated with grandpa’s declining mental state. Taking care of an elder is hard on even the most well adjusted among us (which my uncle is not).
I was talking to uncle on the phone last week asking about grandpa’s status. Every question resulted in an “I don’t know.” Probably 7 or 8 times. I got frustrated and said something a little shitter than I meant to, but he laughed, I laughed we moved on. A whole day later I got a text from my mom that I am no longer allowed to call my uncle and I need to “watch it” with my tone. This isn’t the first (or even 31st) time my uncle has had a tantrum about something I’ve said, done, or vibed at him so it wasn’t entirely surprising, but I am annoyed that I am now blockaded from my dying grandfather. I guess bright side is his memory is so bad he doesn’t know I am not there.
So yesterday mom calls me, not to get my side but to remind me what a brat I am and to also bring up alleged things I said to piss off uncle from years ago. And how my one cousin on that side also doesn’t like me (I haven’t even seen him in 10 years, so news to me?!). I spoke my piece, she actually did see my side a little bit. I think my uncle has a tendency to either hear what he wants or misremember conversations and that gets back to my mom (and she twists it up in her head in a game of telephone, making me a villain). I even allegedly complained about my cut of the will. Reader, out of the 4 of us, I need the money the least. And once I have it and grandpa is laid to rest, I have no need to speak to these people ever again.
It stinks that you’re being denied access to your grandfather. Send him cards in the mail. Maybe with pics of you or Boggs. Even if he doesn’t always remember you he might have a lucid moment now and then. Or might just enjoy getting a pretty postcard.
I haven’t seen him since May 2023, which is when my mom came to IL to visit. He was still pretty lucid and able-bodied then. But after that things started to go downhill and he got reclusive. My uncle said he didn’t like to be in public anymore (we used to go out to lunch a few times a year), he thought people were looking at him, stuff like that. I believed that for a while, but then there was a period where he was doing stuff. But I didn’t feel welcome. At least my last memory of seeing him was good, so even if my uncle is a shitbird, he’s doing me a favor.
I know, but I don’t know. That sucks when family isn’t always on the same page. Recently my sister and I argued over a wheelchair for mom… she wanted a cheaper option (it’s not her money) and initially I felt that my will/decision making was being thwarted (I had to remind myself that I’m not the only person with POA and have to listen.)
My parents should (if they could) consider themselves fortunate that I learned to ignore when they’re really shitty thanks to their dementia and that I’m pretty empathetic or I’d be in your uncle’s place to my sisters.
We have a couple family members who pull this “misinterpretation” bullshit, and it’s solely to reinforce their little notion that everyone is against them. Boot them out of your life. If your mom enables it, give her notice as well. There’s lots of shades of gray in family relationships, but, in our experience, treating this as black and white is the only way to keep your sanity and some necessary boundaries.
Yep. I appreciate and respect what my uncle has done for my grandpa, esp since they weren’t each other’s greatest fans to begin with. But my uncle has been like this even before the stress of caretaking. He gave me the silent treatment for AN ENTIRE YEAR because he AWOOGAA’ed a waitress in a restaurant, and I was like “can you not?”
He is the type of person that can say anything, make jokes, purposely twist your words around to be “funny,” but you’re not allowed to react or say anything back. Ever. He gets massively butthurt about any response, even though he seems to be constantly angling for a response.
My mom got on my about my “attitude” and how it is getting worse in recent years (no examples). I said, if that’s true, it is only because I am getting older and deciding I will put up with less bullshit from people that don’t make me happy. She actually conceded that was a fair point (so she isn’t a total lost cause, but it takes more effort than I’d like to make headway, and none of it is of her own volition).
@PumpkinSpies, hugs to you. There is no possible good result, is there? I pretty much agree with MemeWeaver.
There is no accountability. Bannon will come out of prison with Aryan Nation tattoos and be even more beloved by the MAGA faithful.
No doubt it will reinforce his rebel persona and give him credibility with a certain type. But I enjoy knowing he’ll be drinking toilet booze instead of whatever high priced spirits he usually imbibes. And eating prison slop instead of Trump Steaks.
The sculpture was damaged in 2018 and eventually the community center’s insurance reimbursed them the cost so that the sculptor could be compensated for the cost of the work.
It was that long ago? Sheesh, it was all over the internet in the last couple of days!
“It’s beyond my capabilities and desires to rebuild it,” he said.
thats one way of saying cant be arsed….
anyways…is a bit of a strange story to me as over here if my kid breaks something…i am absolutely going to be held responsible for it….even if i was on camera trying to prevent it…
but it also wouldnt be a big deal…..everyone has insurance for accidental damages here….sooo…it’d be some paperwork…and i’d lose my no claims discount for a few years….but thats about it
Their insurance did cover it. But I didn’t care for the artist stating it like that. And if I was the couple I’d insist on owning the piece if I paid for it. Even if it was just to toss it in the garbage.
artist does seem like kind of an ass…
does seem only fair you get to keep it if they arent going to fix it and you paid full whack
you break it you bought it right?
thrash would probably happen tho…..its not very pleasing to the eye…
also 130k seems pretty mad for what looks like lead and glass work