Coffee Break [12/12/22]

Your mid morning pick me up

12/12/22 Hannibal 34

Have you finished your shopping, Deadsplinters? There’s still time, and if ideas are the problem I’m here to help. The Neiman Marcus Fantasy Gift Guide has something for even the hardest-to-shop for friends and family. Like this Barbie Maserati for a mere $330,000. Imagine the delight of your college-age daughters finding the keys under the tree. You can’t put a price on that kind of joy.

Maybe you’re buying for a younger child. How about this not-at-all-creepy Rocking Sheep from Smallable, a steal at $550?

This linen placemat and napkin set from Dolce and Gabbana would make a lovely hostess gift for the neighbor’s open house. They come in a variety of colors and are only $415 each. Of course, you’ll need to order at least a dozen for a complete set.

Men are often the most difficult people to shop for. This year gift the special guy in your life a one-day kidnap adventure from Truly Experience, a little pricy at £9060, but something he’ll never forget.

I hope that was helpful. No need to thank me, no really… well, if you insist. I’d never say no to gourmet coffee. But seriously, do the kind of people who can afford these things shop online?

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34 Comments

  3. This year, I finally caved and bought LEGOs for my husband kids. Not looking forward to accidentally stepping on those little fuckers for the next decade. Million dollar idea: LEGO Vacuum for kids.

  4. I already got my Christmas present, a big fat check, and am waiting for my gift to Better Half to arrive by Pony Express Amazon:

    This is our tradition. I’m only expected to give a token, joke gift, but I have to give something meaningful. A Kohl’s gift card won’t do it, especially since we don’t have Kohl’s in New York.

    [Whoops. Did a little research. Apparently there’s one in a strip mall called Fresh Meadows Place in Queens. Any of you reading this is about as likely to go there as I/we are.]

     

     

    • My nieces and nephews are at the age they don’t even want cash. I send them fudge from the Trappist monks in Bardstown. And their kids get cash. Easy peasy.

      • My family got way too expensive about … 20 years ago? Before my daughter was born, anyway. I have four siblings plus me, and each of us has an average of two kids. Each of the kids has an average of two kids. The math from my end was bullshit. I’m buying like 30 presents and my kid got like five.

        Assembled the sibs and said this was going to end. And we would:

        1. All adults who want to participate pick a name from a hat. Buy that person a gift.

        2. My nieces and nephews got gifts until they turned 18. Then they go into the adult pool or opt out. By age 15 or so you’re just giving money anyway.

        3. Grand-nieces and -nephews are SOL. Their grandparents can buy them gifts. I’m not getting something for a kid I see once every 2-3 years.

        That went on for most of the last 20 years. When my daughter, the youngest, turned 18, we switched to the standard gift exchange, $50 max, draw numbers, you can open a gift or steal one from someone else. Participation is voluntary, but if you want in, you bring a gift. You don’t, you can drink and ridicule everyone else.

        My mother hated the new system. Hated it. She was like, you can buy something for everybody, just make it small. And we were like, then it’s basically just crap with no thought put into it. Plus, even $10-$15 for 40 people really adds up. And try getting anything for that amount, anyway. Maybe kids’ toys. Maybe.

        And I’ll just point out one other thing: Logistics. Wrapping and transporting that much crap was a serious chore. It took hours and hours to wrap. And I had to do it until my daughter got old enough — the stuff my wife concocts with wrapping paper would give you nightmares.

        We stuck to our guns and Mom bitched about it for the rest of her life.

        • I had to put my foot down with my family too. I said, “Look, you all have everything you could possibly want. So do I. We waste a lot of time trying to find something for each other that’s not a total waste of money. I don’t have a car so I have to schlep your stuff on trains to get it to you, and then take whatever you get me back again, on trains. Then, I live in a small Manhattan apartment [true at the time] so I have to find a place to put it. Enough. ¡Basta!”

          • Exactly. Give to charity. I don’t need presents. If I want something, I typically buy it unless it’s the Barbie Maserati. My wife and daughter and I do presents on Christmas but we know each other and what we like. Truthfully, my siblings don’t know me all that well.

            The gift exchange we do now is fun because it’s us screwing with each other. But even that I could drop in favor of just hanging out and drinking.

          • I went with 18 so my kid could get some of the gifting back (yes, I’m a petty MF). But even then I think some of my siblings stopped when she was 16 or so. There’s so much chaos on Christmas it’s hard for even a petty bitch like me to keep track of everything.

  6. …have I got my christmas shopping done?

    …ummm…is it christmas eve, already?

    …because I haven’t figured out what I’m getting nearly anybody…or what I should have asked for if it wasn’t already too late for that to be helpful to anybody rather than PITA?

  7. Shopping? Done? Hahahahaha! I haven’t even really started! Honestly, with the way finances are going, the boys are probably going to get envelopes with IOU’s in them. Presents will come sometime in January, after everything’s gone on sale.

    I made crocheted pillows for my mom, A-MiL, and for a friend. Made a crocheted snake with a rattle in the tail and a squeaker in the head for Grandbaby. Got a reading journal for Grandbaby’s mom. And… that’s about it.

    My Christmas present from the guys this year is dental work :/

    • I had a friend who used to exchange presents on January 6th, the Feast of the Three Kings (the Feast of the Epiphany.) That’s the day the Three Wise Men finally made it to Bethlehem and gave their gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was from the Dominican Republic and I think that might be what they do there, or maybe he just made this up. Anyway, super-civilized.

  8. i dont really need to worry about presents…just something little for my mum and brother…..which probably translates to fancy chocolates and coffees…cant go wrong with those as i have a really good chocolatier in town

    other than that…if i find something thats just right for some one ill pick it up and put it under the tree and if i dont i dont

    we basically decided that presents are not mandatory as we are all annoyingly hard to buy for people that just get anything we want ourselves….

    we did get a really nice tree this year tho

    • Presents really shouldn’t be mandatory. We end up buying stuff people don’t want and often don’t even appreciate the effort. I may start subscribing to your way of thinking.

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