Coffee Break [19/7/21]

Your mid-morning pick me up

Taco enthusiasts, now you can turn your love of hot Mexican street food into cold hard cash. McCormick is looking for a Director of Taco Relations. The part-time, temporary position offers the chance to travel, develop recipes, and eat tacos, all while earning $25,000 a month. Responsibilities include staying on top of taco trends, creating social media content, sharing inventive ways to use taco seasonings, and, most importantly, settle the hard or soft shell question. But you have to act fast. A two-minute video on why you want to be the first Director of Taco Relations is due by 11:59 PM Eastern Standard time tomorrow and is open to US citizens with the ability to travel 10% of the time.

Deadsplinter has more than few good cooks with great communication skills. Does anyone need an extra $100K? That’s a lot of beans for 4 months work. There’s got to be a catch, right?

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29 Comments

  1. I could never do this job.  First, because my job now requires too much time to devote an additional 20 hours per week.  Second–and most importantly–I will piss off way too many people for McCormick to allow me to open my mouth for four days, much less four months.

    • They’re sandwiches, sort of, and when I lived in Corporate America there was a period where I was eating a sandwich or two for lunch 5 days a week. You can do a lot with tacos.

      That said, this job is too much. Single-minded obsessiveness with a simple food that started life as a cheap and easy way to feed poor laborers and their families and has now been co-opted into this horrific Gen Z/urban transplant obsession is not worth squandering four precious months of your life for.

      Fun fact: I was invited to a wedding at least a decade ago and it was a destination that The Ball and Chain likes, so for once he agreed to accompany me to a wedding. He normally begs off and I go stag and that’s perfectly OK because a “single” man is always useful to “fill a table” (balance the sexes so that there’s a mix of men and women at a table at the reception.)

      Where was I? Oh yes. At this wedding for the night before the bride’s family hosted a mixer so the guests could mingle beforehand. I think the bride’s mother was hoping to accomplish a little further matchmaking. We arrived at our hotel and we were given an envelope with detailed instructions about this wedding, which I wasn’t expecting. It was held at the bride’s parents’ gated oceanside estate, which you couldn’t possibly find unless you knew what you were looking for. I knew the groom; I’d only known of the bride for a few months and maybe met her half a dozen times. 

      The night-before mixer was going to be a “fun” taco truck dinner with a “Mexican” theme held right on the beach in a spot they had rented (I learned later) but didn’t own. “Um, my sweet, I think we should go to this. I think it’s kind of mandatory.” “Eating tacos out of a truck on a beach God knows where…” “I’m sure there’ll be a bar and maybe dancing on the beach. That would be fun. Weddings are fun!”

      “RSVP and claim we’re stuck in an airport somewhere. O’Hare, that’s always a good one. Tell whoever you get in contact with–“

      “The bride’s sister–“

      “that we’re dreadfully sorry but we’ll see them tomorrow if we have to walk to the ceremony.”

      “Are you making fun of the way I speak?”

      “But then how would I know about this super-secret taco truck mixer?”

      “Better still. Don’t say anything and we’ll see them tomorrow. Pass me that room service menu, I’m starving.”

      That’s my favorite taco story.

      • @CousinMatthew So you’re saying the catch is feeling icky about doing the job. I can see that. I also suspect you have to pay for your own travel due to the wording of the ad. 

        • Not exactly. There are humans who taste test pet foods, at least dog and cat foods, although why I don’t know because every dog I’ve ever known would eat raw carrion off a Manhattan sidewalk if given a chance. They are descended from wolves. 

          Like the avocado toast craze from some years ago, another abhorrent food trend, “Taco Tuesdays” just screams normcore (which I am) pseudo-hipster (which I’m not) trend-following, and “corporate fun”. About two years ago, right before the pandemic struck, I was at a party and a Young Person was talking about their new job. “It’s amazing! Every week for lunch they have Taco Tuesdays and the cafeteria has this build-your-own taco station and–“

          “Would you excuse me? I need to use the facilities. I’ll be back in a sec.” Never saw the person again.

  2. I would not like to eat that many tacos, and I DO like tacos. However, this job plays $300,000 per year. Under those circumstances, I am reasonably certain I could manage. 

  3. i could eat tacos for 4 months straight….i think
    its been about 18 years since i had one….so ive got some catching up to do….and a hundred grand would be nice

  4. I’m certain the ideal candidate would be omnivorous, so it’s a no for me, dawg. But if they don’t use this opportunity to hire someone whose heritage is tied to the cultures that originated tacos, then they’re making a huge mistake (yes, even a beige company like McCormick needs to be on it).

    • I’ll eat tacos, it’s not like I hate them but I don’t get why everyone loves them so much. Maybe butcher is right and I just haven’t had a good one.

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