Coffee Break [2/10/23]

Your mid morning pick me up

This Wednesday, October 4, FEMA will be running a nationwide emergency alert test. At exactly 2:20 pm ET every television, radio, and mobile phone in the US. will receive a 60-second message. It’s officially a system analysis, but I think we all know it’s really the culmination of the evil Fauci-Gates plan to activate the Covid 19 vaccine, turning us into communist zombies. For those DeadSplinters in Canada and Europe don’t think you’re off the hook. We Americans have been making your lives miserable for years and are coming for you too. But just on the off chance that the conspiracy theorists are wrong about this one and life continues in the same dumpster fire downward trajectory as usual, I am heading out of town for a wedding on Oct. 14. I’m looking for someone to cover the Happy Hour for Friday the 13, and the Coffee Break for Monday the 16. Thanks!



  1. I can do the Coffee Break on Oct. 16. What time ET do those post?

    • 10 am Thanks!

  2. Oh, and as for that alert:

    • 😂


    • Thank you! I’ll be very interested to see what a pro does with it. 🙂

        • I meant pro as in writer not drinker! I wasn’t calling you an alcoholic. 😬 😂

          • No worries, I didn’t take it like that haha, I’m only an enthusiastic amateur drinker these days 🙂

  3. I’m almost completely certain that these batshit right-wing conspiracies are being dreamed up by a couple of drunk guys trying to see just how much bullshit MAGAs will swallow.

    “Hey, let’s say Fetterman was replaced by a body double!”

    “Cool! Then let’s tell them that the emergency broadcast signal will turn them into zombies!”

    “Dude! If you can get that idiot from Forbes to report it, I’ll give you fifty bucks!”

    “Pull out your wallet. I’m getting fifty bucks. That dude is such a tool!”

    Ten minutes, two Xwitter tweets, and three Reddit posts later, MAGA world is freaking out.

    • I find that completely believable.

    • Q-A n o n definitely worked that way. A lot of it had to do with the way Facebook and Twitter knew certain accounts were boosting malicious conspiracies and refused to do anything, so a limited number of bad actors could magnify every lizard person theory that emerged.

      Musk and some of his backers clearly are trying to maximize this process, although he’s bumbled so much that he’s shrunk engagement overall. He’d have been more effective keeping Twitter more legitimate instead of shrinking its reach and diluting its credibility. I think one of the big reasons why Zuckerberg screwed up Threads is that he didn’t want to deal with content moderation at that scale, and he’s happy to let things fester on his platform while Musk takes all of the heat.

      • Remember the series of pranks played on hotel guests claiming gas leaks and various other scenarios? And the guest would smash windows and jump out. I think there’s some of that involved. Like @bryanlsplinter suggested, just to see how much crazy people will accept while the originators sit back and laugh.

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