Coffee Break [25/7/22]

Your mid-morning pick me up

In a nauseating effort to include their love of puppetry in their nuptials, a UK couple has requested that guests purchase and wear expensive sock puppets for the entirety of the ceremony and reception. Except when using the bathroom, of course, they aren’t unreasonable. But when met with resistance by family and friends, the groom wondered if he was the asshole.

I can answer that – unequivocally, yes. I would RSVP decline with no regret. Maybe I’m just not much fun. What do you think, Deadsplinters? And have you ever been asked to participate in anything cringey as a member of the wedding party or invitee?



  1. Whoa, those puppets are quite a bad idea…I know people with doll and/or clown phobias; this would trigger both, I think? The wort wedding thing I can think of is the silly chicken dance, a local favorite:


    • I hadn’t even thought about doll/clown phobias. That makes it even worse. The one thing I like about the chicken dance is seeing my drunk aunts doing it, lol.

  2. For some reason I’m reminded of John Lott, the right wing economist who used a sock puppet he invented named “Mary Rosh” to talk about how brilliant he was.

    The guy left a trail for years of incredibly dubious research, claiming things that were easily debunked like greater gun ownership meant less gun crime, including this 2014 demolition of his cooked data:

    But it didn’t stop him from getting cited approvingly in the press. As recently as 2015 and 2017 the NY Times ran pieces claiming he was an expert on guns. Because both sides, you know.


  3. I’m not gonna lie: I saw that AITA and I thought a) yes you are the asshole but also b) I would totally go to that wedding just to see what shook out even if it cost me $200 for a single-use puppet. I think it would either be weird and fun or a complete disaster and I’d be there for either outcome.

    The reality is that lots of people have harder and more expensive wedding requests these days — see literally every “destination wedding” — and plenty of people have accepted that. Puppets are weirder, but definitely cheaper!

    • They do say to buy the puppet rather than give a gift. And even an expensive puppet probably wouldn’t cost any more than what you’d spend on a present. But I think as with any “bit”  the novelty would wear off quickly. Fun for 30 or so minutes, annoying the remainder of the time.

  4. 1) I get that it’s the couple’s wedding and they want to do what they want.

    2) Imposing on your guests especially considering a lot of them are forking out cash for gifts etc, is quite an asshole move.

    If I had to be all King Solomon… I’m all for couples expressing themselves, but not making expensive demands on guests which is why I’d frown on destination weddings and expensive sock puppets in the unlikely event I ever get married

  5. This could have been kind of cute if they had a little puppet (just a cheap one) made as favors for their guests or something. But expecting that people would shell out for their own expensive puppet is just bonkers.

    • Yes, Etsy has a surprising number of  cute finger puppets. Take a few silly pics and be done with it. But wear a puppet on your arm for the whole thing would be aggravating.

  6. And if I were forced to go to this abomination of a wedding then I’d be dancing Wolf of Wall St style during the first couple’s dance.

    Every micro flex deserves another.

  7. I would totally do this!! But I’d have a few tables set up with socks, glue, googly eyes, etc. And ask people to arrive early enough to make their own sock puppet to include in the ceremony.

    That would be hilarious and not inconvenience any guest financially.

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