Coffee Break [6/6/22]

Your mid-morning pick me up

Today in this time you’ve gone too far news, a man spends $20,000 to live like a dog. It turns out he’s not alone in wanting to lead a dog’s life. Not to be confused with furries, people cosplaying anthropomorphic creatures, apparently there are people who want the full canine experience.

People are weird. But I guess they aren’t hurting anyone.

How’s your Monday going, Deadsplinters?



      • “Puppy house-training.” The term still gives me PTSD. But still we do it, over and over and over again. And we’ve always lived in apartments, so it’s not like we can just open a convenient door and throw the bugger(s) out into a fenced-in yard.

        • My corgi was the easiest dog I ever trained. She only went to the bathroom once. Fanny was the most difficult. She’d go outside, walk back in and pee. I swear she did it on purpose.

          • Our little creature does that now. I open the door to the nicely fenced in back yard every morning – he goes out with the others and when no one is looking – comes back in and poops in the tv room. Every. Single. Day. Lucky for him – he’s adorable.

            • I am so envious of your bureau! (I assume that’s what the white piece of furniture is and we’re looking at a bedroom.) I’ve always wanted something like that for my kitchen, with the middle drawer sectioned off.

              • Thanks! We actually bought it to turn into a master bathroom sink. We haven’t gotten around to doing the bathroom yet, but that’s still the plan. Right now it’s working as a chest of drawers.

            • Do you think it’s defiance or not grasping what he’s supposed to do? With Fanny I’m pretty sure it was defiance. She was not happy being taken from her mother and the little girls she lived with. I thought we were going to have to return her. Then one night she would not pee before being crated, pee in the crate and was hysterical. I got her out cleaned her up, cleaned the crate, and cuddled her until she calmed down. It took almost an hour until she went back to sleep. That was the last time she went in the house, poor baby.

              • @Hannibal – I think it’s defiance for some reason. When we’re at the lake he mostly goes outside – so he knows what he’s supposed to do. I can take them on walks and he’ll poo on the walk but then the little sneaky sneak will go in the house when you’re not paying attention.

                • @Lymond, with the pup, could it be both “the routine of it” *and* maybe the distraction factor, of having the other dogs out there & getting too caught up in playing–so he doesn’t realize he didn’t go until he’s back in (when he may just go to *that spot,* because “this works, I guess!”)…

                  I ask, because the…. himbo-pup of a former roommate used to do a similar *potty* (liquid) routine at her house, until I caught on & started to send him back outside after he came in the first time….

                  That solo trip was what it took for him to remember why he was outside (😖🤪🤣), and once I caught on & started doing it, his accidents became much rarer when *I* was watching the dogs (he totally still did it, when my roommate–his hooman–was watching the dogs!🙃)…

                  He was just… a bit slow on the pickup (he was PRETTY, but so, SO derp!), and got much too interested in playing with Lily & his brother/kennelmate to realize, “Oh, THIS is potty time!”



                  • @EmmerdoesNOTrepresentme – It could be that – except he doesn’t really play outside and is not a derpy dog. He’s very smart. He was sneaking out of our fence for a while until I could find where the breach was. One of us would be sitting on the front porch and he would come from our neighbors yard just wagging his tail like “Hey, whatcha doin?”

                    We’ve even put one of our security cameras in the room to try to catch him in the act. After the first few times of us catching him and putting him outside, he learned to either do it when none of us were home or in a different room. We inherited him from a friend that passed away – so maybe the potty training never took. He has 24/7 access to a doggy door and gets walked once a day so I just think he’s being a “little shit” – pun intended.

      • When the mood to eat or play strikes, the lack of opposable thumbs can be made up for by judicious positioning on the hind legs, deployment of the forepaws, and knocking of the object of your desire onto the floor for quick consumption. This could be anything. A sandwich left alone. Half of an open bottle of wine. Socks from the closet. Eyeglasses. Books. Really, anything, as long as the weird two-legged one isn’t around to interrupt the fun.

    • There you go kink-shaming. What if you had your own home-based crystal meth lab? I read a few years ago about a guy who showed up late to his own brother’s wedding…well, the guy had a good time at least. Until his brother, Dad, and two uncles restrained him and the cops showed up.

      But as I always say whenever someone calls me in the aftermath of one of my own parties, either to apologize for themselves or for a guest they brought along, “It’s not a party unless people show up, and I always think parties are more interesting when something unexpected happens, don’t you?” [Real life example: “So you’re not mad at me that I made your Better Half dance with me and I French-kissed him and we almost went over the side of the roof?” “Not at all! For all I know he enjoyed it. He’s right here, do you want to relive the memories? Hello? Are you still there?”]

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