Hi, friends!
Time for a complaints post. What’s been annoying you lately?
People driving stupidly around emergency vehicles has been annoying the crap out of me. Today some motherfucker cut off an ambulance on the highway despite there being no reason they needed to change lanes.
Morons to the left of me, morons to the right.
We’re all stuck in the middle with yoooou.
Bosses at work mostly but what else is new on that front?
RIP Iron Sheik. I could watch this for an hour and never stop grinning.
“Gene Mean” served as best man at Sheik’s wedding.
I remember watching wrestlers like him, the original Sheik, Bobo Brazil, Chief Iron Strongbow when I was a kid. Most of those guys were already old, and it was surreal watching them go through the motions.
My dad was the Midwest wrestling champ in college. He became a pro out of college thinking it was real & immediately quit & left for the military. He used to take me to Wrestling Hawaii. Lots of giant Hawaiians & Samoans against traveling legends like Andre the Giant & Iron Sheik. Good times!
Because of our weather all road construction happens the time of year the most people are on the roads! It kills any motivation to leave whatever town you live in. Weekend road closures cause disastrous travel!
Everyone in my household has a cold except for me. Thus breaking our record streak of two consecutive weeks where nobody was sick. Kids and germs, when does the flu/cold season end? In 18 years maybe.
This is one of my on-site weeks. With an extra day because the “leadership” would much rather be right than happy.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I am 1,000,000% at the “Bitch Eating Crackers” point, with my boy-roommate.
So.goddamned.DONE right now.
I ran *completely* out of spoons, at 8:00 tonight.
I’m *barely* keeping my shit out of a full-on ASD goddamned *meltdown*, by my fucking *fingernails* clawing a metaphorical ledge right this minute.
He’s been BURNING my spoons, SO OFTEN lately, and I am fucking DONE right now.
I could sleep until *next* Thursday, i’m so wiped.
Today was fiiiiinally the last day for the pre-K & elementary kids i work with, and I ONLY made it through, today, because we had multiple kids who weren’t at either site I worked today–so the caseload/workload was light… (we have a 1-week “staff/prep-week to get ready for the summer version of the “before & after school” program, and 2 weeks, until the Special Ed summer session starts)
Boy-roommate has a metric shit-ton (and an additional 90+ hectares!) of childhood trauma… I’ve noticed, living with the dishing fir the last few years that–apparently when he’s stressed?
He starts to ruminate like a stagnant motherfucker, starts getting angry at the *ENTIRE* goddamned WORLD, and will just be a goddamned ANGRY, argumentative ASSHAT, who fucking *explodes* verbally, in ALLdirections–at.all.hours.of.the.day.
And apparently (he told me, in an apology text this morning), his fiancee–our *other* roommate has been sick for almost two weeks now–and although *he* didn’t expressly say it?
I’m sure *that* is the reason he’s been waking up and fucking YELLING AT HER sometime between 3 and 5 am, *multiple* times this week.
I get 5-6 *possible* hours of sleep at night right now,, and THIS ASSHOLE wakes me–and I’m sure the neighbors above & below us, AND next to us… up in the MIDDLE of the goddamned night, SHOUTING at his SICK FIANCEE….
Because that’s EXACTLY what a sick person NEEDS, when they’re *already* going on feeling like hell.
Obviously, we are NOT renewing the lease, and I’m going to start looking for *something* else for October 31st.
But I’m wiped out.
He burned up the *few* “extra-ish” spoons i had, to get me through the day, eat supper, and get myself to bed, By 8 pm tonight…..
Just as my blood sugars *tanked* and I NEEDED to make something to eat.
It took me 45 fucking MINUTES, to microwave a bag of Barilla ready-pasta, some frozen meatballs, & some pasta sauce…
Because when I went to make the turkey sandwich I *had* planned on having all day?
I discovered–as I went to pull out the turkey, sliced chiz, mayo, & mustard, that *sometime* recently either boy-roommate *or* our other roommate’s *other* PCA** spilled something oily/slimy on the top shelf of the fridge, let it run ALLLLLLLdown the shelves, and–As usual— never bothered to clean it up!!!!!!
So, mid-sandwich making, holding apparently one last spoon in my stash, I got COMPLETELY derailed, and literally just *stood there* like a fucking LUMP in the kitchen, 30 seconds after I realized I wasted my LAST goddamned spoon, washing *EVERYHING* that had that nasty, olive-oil SLIME off…
And I didn’t have enough focus to finish making the sandwich anymore–too many steps!😨😨😨😨😨
So I STOOD there, fucking crying, *trying* to rub the two remaining brain cells in my skull together hard enough to find *anything* else which had a *balance* of Carbs+fats+protein together…
Took me half a fucking HOUR of “lethargic” to get one goddamned bowl of pasta put together… a bowl that only took exactly *two* minutes to microwave… thd other 28 were spent *trying* to figure out how to get from “closed packages” to “cook now!”
I’m fucking EXHAUSTED y’all, and SO OVER THIS MAN’S BULLSHIT!
He has *one* fucking tool in his toolbox–aside from falling absolutely the fuck *APART* under stress–and that tool is an idiotic rage-hammer…
That’s ALL.
I’m SO SICK of all the yelling. Soooooo tired of him *yelling* at his SICK fiancee, at 3am or 4 am or *just before 5 in the morning… and I’m *also* fucking exhausted by the fact that he walks around here expecting us to understand that “I have a mental *ILLNESS*!!!”
While he fucking IMMOLATES the few damned spoons I’ve got, to manage a whole day of *mine* (plus the physical stuff I’ve got burning my spoons, with the plantar fasciitis & tendinitis🙃)
I’m TIRED, crabby, and *SO* at “Bitch Eating Crackers” angry with this pathetic man-child.
(**they are both her Personal Care Attendants, because she has a disability that limits her physical movements)
Wow, you when complaint night hands down! Hang in there & kick his out ASAP! Also, never knew about “spoons”. I hope life gets easier for you when schools out & you can take a break.
Thanks, Shaq!💖
We have one more work day in ECSE, tomorrow is the “classroom teardown” day, where we pack up everything, take anything/everything off the walls, get all the adaptive equipment back to OT, PT, and other assorted places, get alllllll the toys put away, and get everything ready for the janitorial staff to do the summer cleaning.
Ever since a little *before* I learned we were opening up that brand-new classroom that I’ve been the “lead Paraprofessional” in, (thank GOD the teacher in this room is one I’ve known WELL & for years, and we DO work incredibly well as a team!💖), I was running on fumes, and just *trying* to “make it through to the end of the year, THEN, fall apart–not *before* the end of the year!”…
And I TOLD both my roommates more than a month ago, that I AM running on *fumes* and at the “Just Keep Swimming!” point…
I’m still trying to get set up with *someone* who works at the intersection of “Childhood Traumas, bereavement, grief & loss, Women with Autism, & Women with ADHD”…
But finding a mental health person to see, *in general* is tough right now… let alone one who *does* work in all/most of those *very* specific intersections!🥴
You are why teachers are our real heroes & first responders. My daughter is going to be a math teacher & I hope she never has to go thru the shit I hear about from u & other teachers. Keep up the good fight & hopefully someday we will ALL realize the value of teachers!
Should be win not when!!! Goddamn iPhones!!
I know I need to talk to him, but *right now* (and honestly for the past month-ish, as the school year wound down), I’m SO tired, frustrated, & exhausted, that I KNOW if I *try* to talk to him, I’m gonna fucking lose it, and start *screaming* at him…
I don’t *have* the spoons to have a respectful *conversation,* I would lose it, be *unable* to keep my cool or remain *in any way* calm or reasonable, and I would 100% go for the death-blow, verbally. I can SEE through his bullshit, I know where his traumas lie (i read people–i have since I was 2 or 3-ish… realized this last year, while dealing with Dad’s dying process, that it’s a whole ton of trauma-baggage, from me *desperately* trying to understand “why *i* was ALWAYS misstepping as a child” (turns out, it was basically “Emotional Parentification” because Dad was undiagnosed, but most *likely* Autistic, annnnnd he grew up with an emotionally manipulative mother who had ZERO sense of “Boundaries” or understanding of what an *actually* healthy relationship should look like!😖😱😫
Sooooooo dad never understood *his* feelings, occurring inside his body, he took that out on *me* quite often when I was little, annnnmmd I learned how to “read” his moods & emotions, and then modify my OWN actions & behavior, in order to calm/placate him & defuse any given situation🙃🙃🙃
That ability to read others’ emotions is why I’m DAMN good at my job! and having that skill is what makes me *skilled* at figuring out my little ones who are deep-back in Autism-land, and/or who have a HARD time communicating their needs/desires…
But I realized, as Dad went through hospice & relied on *me* more & more to get ALL his needs met…
That *for me,* that “Ability to *read* people” comes 100% from childhood TRAUMA.🙃
It’s *both* a gift AND curse. And it’s spiraled put, across *so* many things in my life, over literal decades…
And because I learned those “people-reading skills” in my earliest years, i’m GOOD at sussing-out *so* many details about people…
And because of ALL ^that^, I have ALL the info I could *ever* need, to strike some *incredibly* painful/debilitating emotional/psychological blows… although it IS 100% unethical to use private/personal info that way, and I’d never *purposefully* try to create that sort of carnage
Ah hell, Emmer, sorry to hear this.
Hell is other people
Hugs to you, Emmer.
Thanks Ellie! (And EVERYONE!💖💞💗💝💫)
Today was a LOT better. We got the classrooms cleared out, all the gym mats cleaned, the balls from the ball pits cleaned/sanitized, and the school is ready for the janitors to start doing *their* summer magic!😉
I’m taking tonight off from the grocery store (I’ll work tomorrow & Saturday), and just relaxing, before we start the meetings & classroom setup-stuff for the summer version of the “before & after school” program💖
I meant to post this at the end of the weekend, but I just didn’t have it in me at the time. Anyway, I finished my unexpected four-day weekend on Thursday, and what should fall into my lap that very morning but another translation project from Scotland — the latest installment in the ongoing series of People Getting Fucked Over by Multi-Level Marketing Schemes.
This time, there were two Word files that had less than a thousand countable words each, and I was able to bang out that part of it before the weekend. But the kicker was that they both contained multiple screenshots of text messages and the like, which is about a bitch and a half to render because it involves parsing each one, filling in the meanings obscured not as much by textspeak as by the inevitable errors in spelling and grammar and the noncommittal punctuation, covering up the parts of the screenshots in Spanish and then rendering and pasting in the translated portion (sometimes even recreating or “localizing” the very same typos from the original, if I feel like it). I spent the better part of the weekend doing this for the first file — those screenshots brought up the word count by a hair or two less than 3000 — and managed to submit it by the deadline on Monday.
I had to tap out for the second one, though, because not only was it more of the same, but the screenshots were pasted in a manner more befitting a fucking scrapbook than a documentary evidence exhibit. (Seriously, I would post one of the images here, with ten screenshots arranged on one page and reduced to a little larger than the size of postage stamps, but I’d only just figure out how to blur the details before I slammed into the fact that I apparently can’t embed images here if they aren’t already online somewhere.) The PM did finally send me a dedicated file the other day with all the images enlarged to a degree that was adequate for a middle-aged naked eye, but she said that she’d try to get clearer copies of the more pixelated ones from the parties involved. So, until then, I’m just hanging out trying to decipher some fucking Expedia receipts.