deadsplinter Presidential Endorsement

After much consultation and deliberation, the deadsplinter editorial board is officially endorsing Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and this puppy for president.

While there were many worthy candidates, these three distinguished themselves in myriad ways ranging from their history in government, their bold visions of improving the world, and their overall fluffiness. Any of them would be tremendous leaders of the nation, at least two no longer poop in the living room, and they all would bring much needed dignity and poise to the office.

We wish we were able to show our readers the footage of their selection interviews, however one of the candidates ate their release form and it would be unfair to not show all of the interviews.



  1. Bernie and dog are both fluffy, but I suspect Bernie poops in the living room now and then. Okay, maybe it’s more of an Al Roker shart than a full on poop but haven’t we had enough of geriatric shit in the Oval Office?

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