Deadsplinter Up! All Night: DUAN PROM!

Have corsage, will travel

It’s Spring and Prom Season is upon us. So, let us hereby convene this meeting of the Annual DUAN Prom planning committee.

First, we need to come up with a proper prom theme. Please submit your ideas in the comments below. I’ve started a list to help get the discussion started. :

  • Pretty in Pink
  • Dante’s Inferno
  • The Wicker Man
  • Everything Everywhere All At Once
  • Fellini’s Satyricon

Next, we will need some volunteers for the Decorations, Refreshments, and Music Committees. I think we can safely agree that we all want @farscythe to be in charge of the punch again despite last year’s little mishap that sent a few of us to the emergency room and at least one to an insane asylum.

It’s pretty obvious which three Deadsplinterers should be in charge of snacks. The sweets table has been off the hook for the past several years. Maybe we can get some more of that Gina Lollobrigida’s tasty pineapple upside-down bundt cake covered in powdered sugar.

We also need to think about who we want to take the prom photos. Unfortunately, the photographer we used last year is still under house arrest. Let’s take a look back at some of the great DUAN prom photos of years past (and don’t you dare make fun of my kilt). See if you can guess the Deadsplinterers from their prom photos:

Be advised, the chaperones have put us on notice that due to @myopicprophet and that little “dirty dancing” incident last year, suggestive or sexualized dance movements will absolutely be tolerated and even highly encouraged. Let’s thank our celebrity chaperones Fetty Wap and Megan Thee Stallion.

Then, of course, there’s the music. While choosing @lemmykilmister to DJ last year’s prom was a great idea, some of us are still suffering from tinnitus and/or infections from the piercings and tattoos we immediately ran out and got.

So let’s listen back to some of the songs that set us dancing at DUAN proms past:

And of course, who can forget those slow dances at the end of the evening?

Remember all, this is YOUR prom. Let’s make it the best one ever!

[note: if I haven’t mentioned your name in this post it’s probably because I’m working up the courage to ask you to the prom]



    • When I was in college my friends and I used to squander what little money we had at a nearby dance/video club (revolutionary for the time.) One night they had that Berlin album as a door prize and I won! When I went up to accept my prize I decided to belt out a few bars of “Take My Breath Away” a capella and threw in a little “No More Words” for good measure. I may not have been entirely sober. The crowd seemed to like it but the DJ didn’t so he cut the mike. Asshole. He must be about 70 now and I hope he has spent the last 40 years reflecting on this gross misdeed.


  1. I only went to one prom.  I asked out this girl I really liked but was kind of out of my league, she turned me down.  Then I asked out her twin sister.  At first, she was pretty pissed since I asked her sister out first but seriously, I knew her sister better than her.  She ended up being my first real love & made my senior year crazy!  It took me forever to get over her & then her twin sister ended up being a newscaster for years and I had to see her every time I turned on the TV.

  2. i will agree to being in charge in the punch….i think i have perfected the recipe now…but i am sure you will let me know….if you live

    but on the rest i have to go with

    i love you…but ill do what i want

  3. I vote for Satyricon.

    The Emperors – My Baby Likes To Boogaloo


    Gotta have a slow romantic song for the final dance of the evening.

    Irma Thomas – Ruler Of  My Heart








  4. Prom Theme: MAKE IT STOP.

    I went to two proms, with the same young woman. This came out after my prom-attending days, but it should be played at every prom.

    Suede – Trash

  5. I loved all of my Proms and Homecomings and used to attend sub rosa with my high school boyfriend. We’d each invite a girl from our friend set (they knew we were a couple; they just wanted to go and we were presentable overachieving guys so their parents gave them the greenlight) and we always had a blast. My high school always hired the same local cover band (college kids) and I became friendly with them, so by junior year, as punk was taking over and the New Wave New Age was dawning (at least for me), I got them to get away from the hard rock/easy listening rock they were used to playing.

    Ladies and gentlemen, my high school’s Fall Homecoming concluding dance my junior year:

    What was remarkable about this was their keyboardist was brought on at the last minute but did a very good job at it, and a couple of my buddies who were on the football team (straight, alas) decided to do the jump-and-chest-pound dance. Good times.

  6. I do not recall prom nor junior prom themes, which is a nice way to say they were boring themes.

    HOWEVER! One of the school dances at my all girls catholic school, we convinced the nuns that “Paradise City” from GnR was a suitable theme and since we were constantly blasting Ginuwine’s “Ride the Pony” in the cafeteria, my guess is they figured well of the 2 it’s at least the less overtly inappropriate.

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