Deadsplinter Up! All Night: Hey Bartender

Today was a day to get some odds and ends taken care of. Painting back door, planting new garden beds, laundry and such. Ellie was cooking ahead for the week and doing finances to keep us in house and home.

While this was happening she was gracious enough to make me some cocktails. A lubricated Keitel is a happy Keitel (especially for laundry because fuck laundry). Anyways, the running joke is for Ellie’s second career is to be a bartender. You come in and pick what alcohol you want. You tell her tart or sweet. Whatever she makes is what you drink. She is that good. In the 26 years we have been together she has never made me a bad drink.

So hit me with some drink songs.

Thanks for coming around.



  1. hey bartender….and its not hed p.e ?
    is this real life?

  2. I used to be a bartender. Most of the time I liked it but there were days when, like any job, it gave me the blues.

    George Jones – Bartender’s Blues


    • hey samesies
      i got a warning for saying hey what do you want to customers
      apparently in england you have to say hey what can i do you for

    • me like…added to playlist
      my playlist was pretty fucking skitzo before i came here
      but all of yous have made it so much worse
      i love it 😀

  3. There are SO many drinking songs. If Germany ever opens up again and you find yourself in Munich during Oktoberfest, memorize these lyrics:

    Here’s another good one. Roughly translated, it means, “In Heaven there is no beer/That’s why we drink it here”


    • holy shit….i did not know you like schlagers…just how german are you?

      • @matthewCrawley 

        this is your fault
        ive gone down a fucking shlager rabbit hole and ive had enough to drink to be having an absolute ball of a time

        so thank you 🙂

        • really….this @ shit is just never gonna work for my miss typing ass

          • I fixed it for you (you missed a t in “matthew”)

            • thank you myo 🙂

              yeah…i probably added another favour i owe you with that song

              • i have to say tho (mostly coz im a chatty fucker what cant shut up)
                my personal favourite schlager ever…came from a video game

                • Wow that one I can actually understand without subtitles.

                  • i’d kinda like to point out..with a name like hammerzeitgeist….its a little ironic you’d need subtitles
                    have i mentioned i cant shut up and get myself into trouble that way somehow?

                    • Touché. I learned it when I was young but then my family fell apart and I was no longer surrounded by it. I can get by in Germany after a couple of days of hearing the language in context but only if they’re speaking Hochdeutsch as opposed to Bayerisch.

                    • @HammerZeitgeist sorry about that
                      my family did the same thing…but i was over 18 at the time….makes for a very different experience
                      i can understand german it hochdeutsch,bayerisch or jiddisch
                      i speak it like gronk tho
                      me caveman phone need i. am bleed 
                      oh ffs i know you fuckers speak english
                      used to be much better…

                  • This is weird: there’s no REPLY under your comment that mentions Bayerish so I’ll leave it here. If you think Bairish is bad, spend an afternoon with older speakers of Schwäbisch (Swabia is the region west of Bavaria). If you like skiing, go to an untouristed part of Austria (there aren’t many left) and try to chat up the locals. Or for that matter go anywhere in German Switzerland, even Zürich, and try to understand what people are saying to each other.

                    • i ran into that lack of reply too…thats why i had to @ for the last one

      • Not so German that I know what a Schlager is—I had to look this up. Those two songs are actually polkas but in the beer tents most people remain seated and do littler drinking rituals. So zum Beispiel, in the first one when you call out eins and zwei, you knock the bottom of your beer glass against the tabletop (your beer glass will be a Maß, which is a thick mug that holds 11 liter of beer) and when you hit g’suffa you drink as much as you can. 

        I’m actually not German at all, I was just always interested in its people and its history, so I started studying the language and one thing led to another…

        • ah over here dutch and german polkas largely get dumped in the schlager pile
          its a very particular style of music largely aimed at getting very drunk people to sing along
          makes for fucking messy but hilarious and fun festivals

    • My wife has been traumatized by that song among many others from being dragged to polka events as a kid .
      Another one:


  4. For the record, I will gladly mix cocktails all day and all night to avoid being the designated laundry person.

    Tequila by The Champs:


    • shit i will happily do laundry for cocktails
      i dont mind it….hell… ill even cook and chop firewood and shit
      got a spare room?
      (i hate cleaning up other peoples shit tho…so dont ask me to do that)

  5. 🎵Come on bartender
    Won’t you be more tender
    Give me two shots of whiskey
    And a beer chaser🎵 
    Regina Spektor, “Bartender” 

    And if one is a bartender, one is bound to be soaked in all sorts of spirits: 
    Divine Comedy, “Gin Soaked Boy” 

    • When your band name is all about the booze: 
      Singapore Sling, “Dirty Water” 

      Everclear, “Santa Monica” 

  6. Bosstones – I’ll Drink to That (live)

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