It’s the middle of the week during a seemingly endless pandemic, and that calls for getting a little altered. Whether your poison is herb, hootch, entheogens, bennies, goofballs, or if you just get high naturally by chewing raw human pineal gland, it’s time to throw off the shackles of a drab March Wednesday and set our minds free. Now personally, I haven’t had alcohol or drugs in a long long time, but rest assured, back in the day I did enough of both to last me several lifetimes. As I like to say, I don’t do drugs, but if I did, I would.
[NOTE TO YOU YOUNGER DEADSPLINTERERS OUT THERE: this post is in no way suggesting or condoning that you should do drugs. You shouldn’t. Trust me, addiction is a horror show that you really want no part of. You should not do drugs. You should stay in school, get a haircut, and for chrissake pull up your pants because you look ridiculous with your drawers hanging halfway down your ass like that. Also, if you are currently in possession of any illegal drugs, you should let me have them so they can be disposed of safely.
About now I feel myself melting into the sofa cushions and I’m having nothing but love for all of you. And as the machine elves in my DMT trips like to say, THANK YOU ALL FOR SUPPORTING DEADSPLINTER AND DUAN. Now excuse me while I kiss the sky.
I’d raise a glass for my friend.
Oh my God, so many possible choices. However, like you, Luigi, if I could drink normally I’d do it all the time.
Velvet Underground – Heroin
XTC – Senses Working Overtime
…it’s funny how times change…once upon a time you could get to the top of the charts in the UK with a song about how great ecstasy was
…next thing you know some skinny white dude is rapping about “let the X destroy your spinal cord/so it’s not a straight line no more/so we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls/shit sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur/shit, six hits won’t even get me high no more/so bye for now I gonna try to find some more
…& where’s the fun in that?
The Beatles –
Jefferson Airplane –
No matter what… meth sucks.
Meth and not hitting paste sucks.
I distinctly remember what a shitty job whoever produced the radio edit for this did. It drew even more attention to the fact that “crystal meth” was a brief lyric in an otherwise sunshine-y pop song.
Not explicitly about drugs but…c’mon. It’s a lovely song. When the hound was an excitable puppy he used to like to jump up on the bed and walk all over me and we’d play wrestle and then, to calm him down, I’d sing this to him. It worked!
The Soul Investigators – Mo’ Hash
Detroit Junior –If I Hadn’t Been High
Dandy Warhols – Horse Pills
and RIP Bunny – Collyman!!!
Because of course we need to mention Snoop and Willie. (Both track titles are in reference to alcohol, but the mere mention of either artist is just weed-related by default.)
Snoop Dogg, “Gin & Juice”
Willie Nelson, “I Gotta Get Drunk”
Best known as the Song about Heroin used to advertise Bank or Cruise Line (The Onion.)
Hearing this for Carnival Cruise Lines was one of the most amusing things I ever heard.
There’s a Willie Nelson version out there that I like better, but this is as good.
Song about heroin? Check
Stranglers – Golden Brown
Song about the buzz that is love? Check.
Suede – Electricity
And a drinking song? Check.
NOFX – Seeing Double at the Triple Rock
Oh, and that whole Norway set from The Cramps is freaking amazing. Been dipping into that well for years. Enough to have a Psychotic Reaction…..