Deadsplinter Up! All Night: Lost In Translation

This is a Keitel story, told with affection. Keitel is a charming fellow, but sometimes his mouth gets ahead of his brain. This is when the patented “What Keitel Really Meant to Say™” explainer comes into play.

Shortly after we married (a million years ago) we were out with a group of his friends, getting rowdy at a great dive bar. A couple who had just become engaged was part of the group. Keitel (loudly) told them “Oh, man, just wait till you have to tell people she’s your wife!” And crickets followed that statement . . . until I used the explainer ™ , “What Keitel really meant is that marriage changes your world view, and it is great to claim a wife.” And the party picked up again. By now in our partnership, Keitel will occasionally look at me and say “Honey, tell them what I mean”. I am fluent in Keitel.

But in light of the world-wide crisis, perhaps we should have a dance party tonight. Maybe slow dance style?

About Elliecoo 460 Articles
Four dogs, one partner. The dogs win.


  1. im no good at slow dancing….so here

  2. I’m no good at slow dancing & besides I need some exercise from all this cabin fever!

  3. Just don’t do that Hippy Dance!

    • oh cmon….you cant do parov stellar and leave catgroove out

      dude almost has me name too

      • I would have thought you would have chosen Booty Swing!

        • just to be contrary… im team caravan palace

          • Back in the 70’s we had Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band

  4. Thanks for the Parov Stellar intro, Loveshaq and Farscythe.

    • youtube electro swing
      you’ll be in for a treat 🙂

  5. “You’re too close. One foot apart.”

    Ah high school…

  6. > Keitel is a charming fellow, but sometimes his mouth gets ahead of his brain.

    another similarity besides our aversion to writing brother keitel!

    and a slow dance song? here are two!

    Leon Bridges – Coming Home:

    The Rolling Stones – Wild Horses:

  7. The closest I can get to slow. The Jesus And Mary Chain – Just Like Honey

    • I’d dance to that with ya.

  8. There’s (almost!) ALWAYS a ‘jovi for that!😉😆😂🤣


    A slow song, that was the next cut on the album (Bounce), and apparently is the second in a series of videos:

    A fast “dancy” (and classic!) one:

    And another one that’s a waltzy one, perfect for those slow dances y’all are talking ’bout in the comnents😉;

  9. By far the best of the hair metal power ballads:

    And Corey Taylor claiming he can’t sing it:

    Which was obviously a lie:

  10. …well, for those of us who aren’t so good with the slow stuff

    …but since some of us may be getting too old for that shit

    […who am I kidding…I never had that footwork down even when I was fleeter of foot]

  11. This was my HS homecoming song so it makes me think of slow dancing… with the cutest little gay red headed boy who took me to the dance.

  12. You guys never stop being adorable.

    Here’s a dancey version of Whiter Shade of Pale by Munich Machine

    • To paraphrase Emmer, there’s a metal for that:

    • > You guys never stop being adorable.

      Ellie sure is. Keitel? I’m not so sure!


  13. I have a sentimental attachment to this as a slow dance song.
    JJ Cale – Magnolia

  14. I stopped dancing after the big Terrorvision “Discotheque Wreck”

    Plus, I’m probably Too Stoned to Dance

  15. 1. That’s adorable.

    2. This a strange hill to die on, but I’ll die on it: Squirrel Nut Zippers are underrated.

    3. = 1. + 2.

    • The candy, however, is overrated.

  16. Diana Krall – Let’s Face the Music and Dance

    A great slow dance song: Feels Like Rain by Buddy Guy and Bonnie Raitt

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