When all this…stuff started going on, one of the things that blew my mind was something simple that seemed like a big deal.

Hand sanitizer was sold out everywhere. But hand soap wasn’t.

That might not necessarily be as much the case now as it was then. But still, when I go into my local grocery store, I’m far more likely to find bottles of hand soap than I am hand sanitizer. Like toilet paper, sanitizer is one of those things Americans have driven into short supply and are buying almost as soon as it shows up. But good ol’ fashioned soap? You can still find it, here and there, hanging out on store shelves, seeming less like there’s a shortage and more like someone just hasn’t gotten around to stocking the aisle.

It’s just weird, man. Lots of shit during this time is just fuckin’ weird. Just yesterday I went into the grocery store after work and saw people loading up on a fresh shipment of toilet paper and paper towels. And my overriding thought was “I know you have toilet paper at home. You have like, six months of toilet paper at home. Why are you at a Food Lion eagerly anticipating another shipment? The fuck are you eating that is making you shit this much?”

It’s the same thing with sanitizer. If you’re sheltering in place at your home and staying the fuck inside as should be necessary, why do you need hand sanitizer? Just wash your fucking hands using hand soap. Wash your hands using body wash. Use dish soap. Just use some fucking soap, my dudes.

Sanitizer is one of the those things that should be used by schlubs like me who are considered “essential” and have to schlep to work six days a week, who don’t have ready access at all times to soap and water and deal with clients. Even then, I’ve been trying to take the time to wash my hands, because smarter people than me have insisted that the best way to prevent the spread of this disease are 1.) social distancing and 2.) washing your hands.

Here’s pinkfong to infect your mind with another song about washing your hands.

Here’s Alton Brown explaining why washing your hands is better than using sanitizer.

Here’s an article from Vox about why handwashing kicks ass.

Are you panicking because your stock of latex gloves is running low? Why? Wash your fucking hands. Wearing gloves outdoors (or wearing a mask, for that matter) won’t prevent the spread of the coronavirus. If you wear gloves, touch a surface with the coronavirus on it, and then touch your face, you can still get the virus.

I’m trying to figure out if this panic buying is just the result of misinformation, general American laziness, or some combo of the two. My experience might be different than yours, who knows.

But if every little bit counts, then literally the least you can do is just wash your hands and stay the fuck inside, if you can help it. Leave the sanitizer, the gloves and the mask for the medical professionals who desperately need them. And for the love of God, stop hoarding toilet paper; one of the symptoms from the coronavirus can be stomach problems, but it’s not widely known to make people shit endlessly for days on end.

Just…be smart, be courteous, and try and help each other survive this thing.