Easy Lies [NOT 19/6/22]

image of Dr. House shrugging with the text "shrug life"

Hi, friends!

Happy Sunday, hope the weekend went well for you. I had the great joy and excitement of getting my first 2 tomatoes (new variety this year for me, red deuce, going to try it tonight) and sweet banana pepper yesterday, followed by the sadness this morning of seeing where squirrels did that squirrel thing of destroying the next 2 almost ripe tomatoes by taking off the vine and taking like 2 bites out of. Assholes.

I was thinking about easy lies this morning as I made an applesauce cake for my dad for Father’s Day. Man loves applesauce cake because his mom made it. Grandma was an amazing woman, but that cake she made was not that good. Bland, usually dry as fuck somehow. Also made a sheet cake size so it was like oh great, more dry cake, thanks grandma.

I make a recipe from Anne Byrn’s cookbook “American Cake” and the recipe is from 1917. And I’m too lazy to measure out the actual spices and I just use 1 1/2 tsps or so of Penzey’s cake mix spice blend. Pie spice from them works too, but I think that one has a little more clove to it? Honestly I don’t remember but I’ve made it with both and it’s been great. Also this recipe only makes an 8 x 8 pan and turns out delicious every time. I skip the raisins because I don’t like raisins in baked goods.

Anyways, he’s convinced I make grandma’s recipe and I just let him think that. I have a copy of her recipe and it’s overcomplicated compared to that 1907 one and doesn’t even taste as good.

(link to recipe in case you want to make it, it’s legit easy as fuck, doesn’t make much dishes at all, can be easily made vegan if you swap out 2 tbsp of butter for vegan butter or coconut oil https://www.budgetbytes.com/anne-byrns-1917-applesauce-cake/ )



  1. I see no harm in letting your father believe his mother was a better baker than she really was especially when it’s easier for you.

    The weather was perfect this weekend. I went to a child’s birthday party on Saturday. And was surprised to run into a couple I know from the dog park. Fortunately, they are people I like, and Fanny never beat up their dog. It was cute watching the little ones splash around in the kiddie pool.


  2. Had Father’s Day and Mother’s B-day.

    Got them their gifts and cards.  Even bought dinner.

    “Was it expensive?”

    “No. it wasn’t.  Don’t worry I paid for it.”

    -of course it was damn expensive.  Thanks global conglomerate shitbags.  But I’m not telling my parents that as they would insist on paying.  I’m a damn big boy now and I can spend some of my big boy money damnit!

    • My dad is such a pain in the ass in restaurants that we haven’t been out as a family since before the pandemic. It’s much nicer this way, and I am not on the hook to pay for dinner.

  3. Funny thing about a lot of old family recipes is a lot are based on lies.

    Moms, uncles, grandmas would conveniently “forget” something critical when they handed over the recipe so they wouldn’t lose their edge. Or they’d copy straight from some magazine and claim they invented it. Don’t trust grandma Rose or great uncle Stanislaus — they were a lot more conniving than they let on.

  4. This is the BEST topic for tonight, Brighter!😉😂🤣💖

    Minneapolis twitter has had SHENANIGANS, and is… actively involved in the shutting-down of a racist grifter trying to profit off the tragedy of George Floyd’s murder.

    Turns out, some white lady from New Jersey bought up a BUNCH of website domain names (45+), a couple days after his murder, put up a website on at least one of them–claiming she was “working with” the Floyd family, asked for donations “to help the Black community,” set up a link to pre-order a George Floyd book (non-refundable, AND no book was ever written!), and then tried to scam her way into getting Mpls folks to go to the trials & hearings (sounds like both Chauvin’s, AND the upcoming ones)…

    But the thing was…

    She reached out to a bunch of folks here who are friends with @Grimace4MN and who have an ongoing joke campaign running Grimace for Governor this year (they’ve got great hashtags like #WeDeserveBurgers, #AFair ShakeForAmerica, and #LoremIpsum 🤣), annnnnd they’re in decent kahoots with the #LakeChipotle crowd…

    So when this lady reached out to these smart-assed, snarky, but also INCREDIBLY involved in local-mutual-aid-groups folks–with her “news organization” named after George Floyd, and then she proceeded to be an asshat, AND try to recruit a good number to do gig work for her?

    The locals went ALL in😈😉🤣

    They looked up her website, found who owned it, found out that she bought the domain name–and MULTIPLE others–two days after Floyd’s murder, used internet archives to discover that she’d fundraised from her site, reached out to the locals she claimed she’d given 100K to (it was right around ONE thousand, not 100 thousand–you know, a rounding error!😉), and CALLED HER OUT for it😈😈😈

    So she tried tapping in some HER followers, and–as you can see from the links–in particular the thread from @FilmThePoliceLA–she was (rightly!) brought down.

    I got blocked by her on my first tweet response, because being FROM here, I knew about the George Floyd Memorial Foundation--and I found THEIR Twitter handle on the Foundation’s website…. sooo I tapped them in, to ask if they either knew about this grifter Twitter account/Website who was using their Brother’s name to raise funds (and reminded them that they *may* wanna have the foundation’s Legal Team send a Cease & Desist, to protect themselves😉😈).

    Others have pointed out that since she was claiming to be a Charity (while listed as an LLC!), the New Jersey State AG may like a word… I also tapped in our State AG–Keith Ellison, mentioning that “charity” angle, as well as pre-orders for books that were “non-refundable,” as well as the wire-fraud potential…

    Others reached out & tapped in Ben Crump–the Floyd Family’s Lawyer, and multiple other folks who could assist the family, in getting control over the profiteering from George’s name😈😈😈

    And by tonight, the shenanigans got extra interesting, because this grifter Lady suddenly began “donating” large-ish sums of money to “other accounts & organizations” (which it appears may have been a real-time shell-game, because it sounded like she owned plenty of the domain names of the “groups” she was “transferring” the funds to (hence that Wire Fraud!🤣), and then the original website 404’ed, AMNNNNND it was suddenly listed for sale!😆😂🤣🤣🤣

    All in all, a frustrating but hilarious set of events…

    And because these are Minnesotans–some of whom ARE in direct contact, regularly, with members of the Floyd family (like his aunt)?

    This is gonna be one of those “dog with a bone” issues, and this grifty-lady is NOT likely to be allowed to simply shutter her site and pop up elsewhere.

    Folks want all those domain names transferred to the Floyd Family, for protection, and they want HER investigated for the possibility of embezzlement, wire fraud, and charity fraud.

    It’s a hot MESS, that this lady dug herself into–AND she managed to commit *multiple* racisms, as she whinged about being “canceled” today!


  5. And y’all might also like this tweet–i know it made me giggle, what with Thiel being the “lie” (via omission!) behind Hogan’s court victory;


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