I get it. Live television. Anything can happen. An actor can flub his lines. A blouse can pop a button. A stage hand could walk into frame.
And in the case of Rep. Eric Swalwell … well …
Watch … and hear … for yourself.
Swalwell – a Democratic representative from California – was discussing the impeachment hearings with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews when … out of nowhere … a bit of a noise appeared.
Something that happened to float from the nether regions.
Perhaps a touch of human methane.
A ripper.
A snapper.
Now of course someone’s going to downplay that … which explains this tweet.
Right. Is that hearsay or was there an actual witness?
It could be worse, you know … Swalwell could have just admitted he had indigestion or something.
But no, that’s straight up flatulence, man.
Certainly it was an amateur fart … nothing on the levels of professional crepitation contestants, right up there with the legendary lord Windesmear, who battled the great Lord Boomer in that classic contest of years gone by.
Hey, as the old saying goes … shit happens, amirite?
Besides, if Swalwell’s political career ever gets boring or stale … he could always follow the lead of Mr. Methane, a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent.
Hey, laugh if you must, but I’m sure he’s on tour with Tape Face and that Irish step-dance team that dances with their hands.
Maybe the next time Swalwell enters the House of Representatives, instead of playing the National Anthem, perhaps he could enjoy a rendition of this little ditty…
But I will say this … it’s one thing to pass some gas, to bake a brownie accidentally …
At least Swalwell only ripped some shit.
As opposed to the pile of shit that’s in the White House right now.
And you know I’m right. #hahahahaha
Good thing I’m writing with DeadSplinter instead of Kinja, right?
Also, the Hardball tweeter doesn’t know what conspiracy means. You can’t brush aside every piece of inconvenient news by calling it the product of a conspiracy. That guy should also resign, go back to 5th grade and pay attention this time.
IT’S A METAPHOR.
I don’t want one of those IBS having Hardball mugs, I bet the coffee out of them tastes like shit.