Evil Billionaire Wants to Buy Racist Football Team, Says Nobody, Er, I Mean, “League Sources”

A flurry of discussion over *checks notes* pretty much nothing happened on Monday, as Amazon owner and all around insidious evil dude Jeff Bezos was rumored to have interest in sticking Amazon into everything and ruling the goddamn world owning an NFL team, and was linked to wanting an minority ownership of the Washington Redskins, a team run by an even more evil dude in Dan Snyder.

Such is the state of modern sports journalism, the coverage of all of this is filtered through “anonymous sources”, which makes any of the reporting on this dubious at best. That Bezos might want to own a NFL team isn’t shocking; Bezos owning a thing that generates tons of money in spite of lagging ratings and shrinking youth participation rates is a no brainer.

Where shit goes sideways is that none of this story seems to be based in any concrete evidence. The report from CBS Sports’ Jason La Canfora only referred to “league sources” in the story, quoting no one and leaving a shit ton of unanswered questions. Nevertheless, this one anonymous reports kicked up a firestorm of coverage, with everyone from the league’s official website to Fox Business reporting the “news”.

The link to Snyder is also tenuous; the evidence La Canfora presents as proof Bezos might want to partner with Football Satan is essentially that they now live and work in the same area.

Bezos’ move to Washington is creating a stir in that area, as is his ties to Snyder. Snyder has been trying for years to get a state-of-the-art downtown stadium built in DC, growing increasingly frustrated by the location and age of FedEx Field. Bezos moved the Washington Post to a new location after purchasing the paper, is setting up an Amazon hub in the area and some believe could aid Snyder’s pursuit of a new stadium, perhaps even with an Amazon sponsorship.

Jason La Canfora, CBS Sports

There are kernals of truth here; Bezos does have an increasing presence in the DC-Maryland-Virginia area. Dan Snyder is desperately trying to build a new stadium, with basically none of the local governments his team represents wanting to pony up taxpayer cash. But that’s literally it; it’s all baseless speculation, based on little more than La Canfora’s word.

This reads leads less like “something that will happen” and more like a trial balloon. Or, at worse, it’s complete and utter horseshit cobbled together by a writer trying to break a big news story in a world where everyone wants to have the the next huge scoop instead of that whole “reporting shit that is actually going to happen at some point between now and never”.

Worse, La Canfora got a bunch of beat up Skins fans excited that a new generation exploitive asshole might replace their current generation exploitive asshole, and that might be his biggest crime of all.

About KC Complains A Lot 135 Articles
KC Complains A Lot is another refugee from Deadspin. He enjoys writing and not caving to pressure from herbs.


  1. “League sources” is probably Snyder, who would fucking love a bailout. He’ll find a way to fuck it tho. “Oh, hey Jeff. Yeah, look, I’ll put you on the Owner’s Waitlist and give you a call back when a team opens up… nowaitdon’tgooooooo…”

  2. Jeff Bezos: I’m going to buy a football team. Then I’m going to send them to the moon. They’ll be the Bezos Blueskins from now on, and they will work for air, on the moon, until they die. And as they labor in my lunar mines, I shall build an Elysium where all my friends can come and watch them get sweaty on the moon.

  3. La Canfora must have seen the through-line of Snyder fucking over countless employees, culminating with his piece de resistance in Trent Williams, and assumed that Bezos would want in, due to his own predilection for fucking over countless employees.

  4. –Bezos’ move to Washington is creating a stir in that area, as is his ties to Snyder.–

    You butthole, La Canfora. Learn English motherfucker. It should be “Bezos’ move to Washington is creating a stir in that area, as *are* his ties to Snyder.” It’s not that hard to distinguish between singular and plural, at least it shouldn’t be if communication is your fucking job. Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick.

    This is why I hate La Canfora (I’ve actually never heard of him before.)

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