Talk About Putting Stuff Back Together
In honor of the tireless efforts of Myo, let’s talk about things we fix.
For instance, I’ve managed repairs to our central air conditioner. One time, I was able to figure out it was a bad condensate pump, which is a pump near the inside unit which sends out all of the accumulated condensed water into a drain, and successfully replaced it. Another time I was able to diagnose a bad capacitor in the outdoor unit and successfully replaced it.
However, the unit was old, and finally gave up the ghost, and complete replacement was definitely beyond my ability. But I still managed to keep the old system limping along for a few summers and saved a couple of hundred bucks in service calls.
So what about you? Big fixes or little? Ever replaced glass in a window? Are you good at sewing and able to get an old leather coat back in top shape? Are you able to take electronics apart and reassemble them? Are you good at editing a document someone has completely formatted wrong and get all of the fonts, tables and line breaks back to readable?
Any funny stories about missing parts from a plumbing repair, or maybe the time you had to turn a stew into a soup when you added too much chicken broth when four unexpected guests showed up? Any times you improvised new lyrics to a song right in the middle of singing because you realized raunchy lyrics needed fixing to avoid offending an elderly relative in the audience?
Let’s talk about fixes!
I replaced a bathroom fan once and I was super proud of that. It’s ridiculously uncomplicated, so don’t ever think you can’t do it.
Aside from that, I’ve fixed several friends’ makeup and skincare issues, which I am extremely proud of.
Knowing how to turn off a circuit breaker and then test the whoozit if it’s really off is 50% of a lot of basic electrical repairs.
You would think so… sez the chicken who would rather call an electrician than do electrical repairs himself.
Full disclosure it was legit that I unscrewed the fan cover and the actual fan plugged into an outlet in the casement. So I just had to buy the replacement at Lowe’s and 4 screws later, plug it in and then put the fan cover back on.
Fixing things… seems to be in my blood. Replaced a bathroom sink without help but I ended up with cuts all over my fingers from the metal brackets (due to the tight spaces.)
Replaced a toilet with a friend. It wasn’t easy especially cleaning up the literal crap around the pipe. Replaced several internal toilet mechanisms including at a coworkers house. Only took me 20 minutes to fix (40 minutes to get the parts at Home Depot.)
Fixed a broken lock on a door during the winter time (courtesy of Cokehead Narcissist who broke the lock) and I discovered the superiority of my Leatherman multitool over the Swiss Army knife when working with numb fingers.
Putting together furniture. I get Ikea’s instructions (the byproduct of years of reading bad model kit instructions) but a lot of people don’t. I also don’t like it when people fuck with how I do things (tore a strip off the former housemate when he fucked around with the piles of parts I had organized.)
At work, I can do some repairs as well instead of maintenance, but I don’t tell the maintenance guys because they’d be pissed at me (also don’t want the supervisors to know as I showed asshole supervisor once what I did and seemed to aggravate his insecurity at being a totally unmechanical person. Although if I knew then what I know about him now, I wish would have made it worse and preyed on his insecurity.)
Carpentry… is okay. Installed bathroom cabinets in a house with steel framing (took hours do to and I learned all about anchors.) I’ve installed kitchen cabinets with my dad when they were replacing some older ones, but they have a wood framed house and that was a bloody breeze.
The only thing I hate to do is 120V electrical stuff… mostly when you’ve been electrocuted twice for stupid reasons makes you electrical shy. BUT BUT BUT YOU’RE AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!!! Well, yeah.
I’ve built my own computers sourcing parts from various places when I used PCs. Even fixed my sister’s old laptop (when I did tech support for family) by sourcing a used ram card that worked at the memory bus speed and compatible with the motherboard’s chipset.
Once made a friend’s son very happy by fixing his favorite toy that was broken.
I guess I take the Marine adage of “Adapt overcome and improvise” seriously.
This coming from a former kid whose dad used to yell at him over not holding the light properly while he worked.
One thing I hate about sink repairs is squeezing into tight spaces and trying to get leverage on tightened connections. Lying on your back with a light pointed at something and trying to squeeze a wrench into some tiny space so you can loosen 1/4 inch a time is no fun. I don’t begrudge plumbers the rates they charge.
I found out later from a good friend that a socket set and head lamp is a good investment for helping those necessary plumbing repairs. Better than a wrench and bleeding fingers and a bruised inside cheek from bumping the flashlight against the sink when you’ve got it clamped in your mouth.
I weirdly love IKEA instructions, they make so much sense to me. I’ve put together a kitchen table and chairs from them, plus other furniture.
The treadmill I got a few years ago? NordicTrack’s lower quality line, ProForm. I had to read those fucking instructions so many times to even understand it. Then I pre-emptively went out and got frozen custard to stash in the freezer because I (ACCURATELY) assessed that I would need a prize after getting it done.
I replaced the blown speakers in my car a couple of months ago. I am by no means mechanically inclined, but I watched a bunch of YouTube videos, took my time, tested things often, and got both speakers in successfully.
Youtube is a great resource. I always check to see if there is a video on how to do the thing I haven’t done before but want/need to do before attempting. Saves me a lot of grief.
Opening up cars always intimidates me because so often the spacing is so tight. Things like replacing headlight bulbs can involve reaching clips that no ordinary tool can reach. Fortunately my local mechanic can do these things and only charges fractions of an hour of labor as long as it’s part of something else like rotating the tires.
YouTube helped me change the doorknobs in my house (they all had button locks and I had a heart attack when my kids nearly locked themselves in a room).
I can build anything from Ikea without getting frustrated (unless it’s a two person job and my husband is my partner 😜).
I think half of the hex wrenches I own originally came from IKEA or someone similar. I’ve somehow never eaten their food, though.
I want to say you aren’t missing much but some people swear by their Swedish meatballs. I think the lure of their food is the cheap price.
I don’t mind the food. It’s edible and relatively cheap. I prefer the plant based meatballs though.
Don’t care much for the Ikea hot dogs. Rather go to Costco.
I’m generally pretty handy. Recently I fixed the mag-lock on our office door.
Everyone was super impressed, however all I did was tighten it up with an allen wrench lol.
If you want to really mess with people, switch the locks and name plates on the doors of their offices.
I spent about 7 hours today fixing a neighbor’s deck. We replaced a few rotted posts, railings and trim. The trim took the longest because this deck has really stupid crown molding type trim! I have fixed a bunch of things, some I am proud, some I am just annoyed I had to do! Most of my skills came because we renovated our house and hired the most incompetent general contractor on the planet. I ended up putting in all railing inside, building the bar, insulating the bedroom, putting in flooring and doing stone work around fireplace. What I hate is electrical and plumbing but seem to end up doing that most! Most proud of total rebuild of my VW van motor in high school (although it eventually caught on fire), I have replaced both igniters is my gas oven 3 times (goddamn, why does it keep breaking!), and my wine barrel shaped bar is amazing! Least proud? All the stuff still on the honey do list. She wants me to replace tile in kitchen, remodel powder room bathroom (10 years old?), pour concrete stairs in the backyard, and finish stone walkway to the front of the house. I’m about to install a steam shower & heated flooring in above neighbor’s house with insane friend so once the wife sees that I am screwed for the long haul!
I am also very proud of my Tigerwood deck though it has the most insane upkeep.
I had an oven igniter fail once shortly before Thanksgiving, but fortunately had a friend who knew what the problem was and how to fix it.
Trim is a pain because the tolerances are so small. The advantage of living in an old house is everything is a bit off, so these things matter less.
Igniters are not hard to replace but they make them hard to get to. Â You have to flip my 400lb oven upside down & take off 5 layers of metal shrouding to get to it. Â Luckily I found schematics online but I know why appliance repair guys can charge so much.
I grew up with a father who thought that having thousands of dollars worth of top tier tools would make him a better carpenter/plumber/ electrician/mason/etc. All he ever managed to do was fuck shit up and then do all kinds of shoehorning to make something work that looked like shit. So I learned my lesson very well that if I want something done right I need to call a professional.
Yeah, I think the key is knowing your limitations. My basic rule is once you have to go inside the walls or the floors, call a pro. If you don’t know how to get it back together, call a pro.
There are a lot of things where you really have to admit you just don’t know.
I’m with you to a point & feel bad about your childhood trauma.  One thing I will say though is having pro tools & now being able to rent pro tools is a game changer.  I’ve rented trenchers, augers & deck sanders that have allowed me to save thousands of dollars with a little YouTubing & practice.
Speaking of glass windows…I befriended a glazier in Burnaby, BC who asked me to help him get business, “because you’re white more people will listen to you here.” I abliged. One time I went to help him install windows in a condo – 23 stories high – and for one of them he had to be OUTSIDE. The window was in the corner of the living room with another window next to the other side of the corner.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN OUTSIDE???!!!”
He pulled out a rope from his toolbox/carry bag and tied it around his waist. He handed me the rope and said, “hold this.”
He proceeded to crawl out the one window, ninja himself (like the scene in Bourne Identity in which Matt Damon drops the red bag) around the corner OUTSIDE THE BUILDING to the other window and about 15 minutes later he ninja’d himself back around the corner and through the other window.
It had to be the longest 15 minutes of my life. I was shaking. After he was back inside and my panic attack subsided, he said, “I have to cock it” and proceeded to crawl out the one window and ninja himself around the corner and whilst HOLDING ON FOR DEAR LIFE WITH ONE HAND he cocked the other window that he had just installed…WITHOUT THE ROPE!!!
When all was said and done I said, “you’re insane. We are 23 stories up!”
He said, “back in China, 23 stories is nothing” …and winked at me.
Never in my life had I ever been that white.
a few years ago my smoke detector went off in the middle of my sleepy time during the weekend
so i fixed it by ripping it off the ceiling and pulling the battery…then i threw the fucker straight out of the back door….accidentally clearing the fence… the people behind me were probably a little confused when they found it
anyways…having slept peacefully for a few years…safe in the knowledge no beepy fucking things will go off unless i tell them to the gubment up and mandated the fucking things…my landlord just had 2 of the fuckers installed here
ive already moved a hammer to my bedside table
just try me you beepy fuckers…..im ready for you
i’ll make damn sure you only pull that shit once this time… fucking gubment….cant even let me sleep in peace