Food You Can Eat: Blueberry Muffins

...or...don't.

Looks can be deceiving.

First things first: the drought of 2022 absolutely beat the shit out of my blueberry bushes.  For the first time since we moved here, I couldn’t harvest enough berries to make a single batch of preserves and that really pisses me off.  But, I did have just barely enough to make the blueberry coffee cake, and these blueberry muffins, which is small consolation.

A caveat before we get started:  My blueberries are the wild variety and therefore smaller than what you’ll find at a grocery store.  Plus, the drought made them even smaller than usual.  At any rate, if you’re going to make these, just use the whole package of blueberries because ¼ cup is stingy bullshit.

Here’s what you’ll need:

2 Cups Flour

3 tsp. Baking Powder

1 ½ tsp. Salt

¼ Cup Sugar

⅓ Cup Butter

1 Egg

1 Cup Milk

½ tsp. Vanilla

¼ Cup Fresh Blueberries

Additional Sugar

Sift together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.  Cut in butter until mixture is crumbly. 

In a separate bowl, mix together milk and egg.  Add to flour mixture and stir vigorously until combined.

Place one tablespoon of batter into the bottom of each cup of a greased muffin tin.  Place a rounded teaspoon of berries on the batter, then top with an additional tablespoon of batter. 

Sprinkle with additional sugar.

Bake in a 450-degree oven for 20-30 minutes.

OMG, these are horrible.  I took one bite and had to force myself to keep chewing until I could choke it down.  A quarter cup of sugar isn’t nearly enough for this recipe.  All you can taste is flour and baking powder, which—let me tell you—is fucking foul.  This recipe needs a minimum of ¾ cup of sugar to make it palatable, along with the aforementioned larger amount of blueberries.  I threw the rest of the batch out.

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About butcherbakertoiletrymaker 573 Articles
When you can walk its length, and leave no trace, you will have learned.

8 Comments

  1. Sorry it didn’t work out and very sorry about your blueberry harvest.  We had a bumper crop this year, enough for me and the fucking robins that keep stealing them.  I freeze them and put them in smoothies all year, just had one in fact. I do love a good blueberry muffin but we never eat a full batch quick enough to justify making this.

  2. Only tangentially related, if any of you ever have the opportunity, go to the blueberry capital of America, “Down East” Maine. That’s the northernmost coastal part that borders Canada. That’s key: stick to the coast. Otherwise up there interior Maine is very Stephen King. Beautiful country but I’ve only been once, during August, when it felt like mid-October in New York. I salute the locals that remain there year-round. A hardy bunch, and friendly.

     

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