Food You Can Eat: Celebrity Sunday Matinee: Extra-Super Super Bowl Edition

One of the holiest days of the sprots year.

This is the first football game I ever attended

I know nothing about sprots. I had no idea the Super Bowl was being played today, nor did I know who was playing. But a little research cleared that right up, and a few minutes’ more revealed these two recipes that were originally published by Epicurious. Let the battle begin.

For the Bengals: Dave Lapham’s Chili Dip

Lapham, I learn, was a Bengals guard is now a radio analyst. He alleges his daughter came up with this, “based on a Skyline Chili recipe,” and it is his quintessential football-viewing snack.

1 (15-ounce) can chili

12 ounces cream cheese, softened

1/4 cup onions, diced, plus additional for serving

12 ounces mild cheddar cheese, shredded

Lettuce, coarsely shredded

Tomatoes, coarsely chopped

Sour cream

Nacho or corn chips

Note the lack of specificity there toward the end. I guess the lettuce, tomatoes, and sour cream are “to taste.”

Preheat oven to 350°F In small saucepan over moderate heat, warm chili. Spread cream cheese evenly on bottom of 9- x 13-inch glass casserole dish. Spread chili on top of cream cheese. Sprinkle with diced onions, then shredded cheese. Bake until cheese is completely melted, 10 to 15 minutes. If desired, add additional onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and sour cream. Serve with chips. Cook’s note: This dip can also be cooked in the microwave. Prepare dip in 9- x 13-inch microwave-safe dish then microwave on high until cheese is melted, about 2 minutes. Let stand 5 to 10 minutes before serving.

An existential question: Can anything really be “cooked” in a microwave? Things can be microwaved in a microwave. What is the fundamental truth about cooking? How can we know it? If it is unknowable, how are we to go on?

For the Rams: Jack Youngblood’s Wife Barb’s Kahlúa Cake

This showed up as the St. Louis Rams, which caused me some confusion. Could the Rams, like St. Anthony of Padua, have the power of bilocation, appearing in St. Louis and in LA at once? No, they just moved. A backgrounder, from the Epicurious intern charged with writing the wraparound:

Hall of Fame defensive end Youngblood (1971–84), known as “The John Wayne of football,” once finished the playoffs on a cracked leg. The all-time great requests this dessert from his wife, Barb, on all special occasions. If he’s lucky, he even gets to lick the batter bowl!

Thanks, Liv, or Mia, or Zach, or whatever your name is.

1 yellow cake mix, preferably Duncan Hines

1 (6 ounce) package instant chocolate pudding

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup oil

4 large eggs

1/4 cup Kahlua

1/4 cup vodka

3/4 cup water

Glaze

1/4 cup Kahlua

1/2 cup powdered sugar, plus additional for serving

Make cake: Butter bundt pan and preheat oven to 345°F. In large bowl, combine all cake ingredients. Pour batter into prepared pan, smoothing top, then bake until wooden pick or skewer inserted into center comes out clean, about 55 minutes. While cake is baking, make glaze In small bowl, whisk together Kahlua and powdered sugar. Pour over warm cake and sprinkle with additional powdered sugar before serving.

Oh, I think we have a clear winner here, don’t you? Bundt pan, yellow cake mix, Kahlua, vodka, sugar, powdered sugar. 

We have online sprots betting now in New York. I’m going to bet a mortgage payment on the St. Louis LA Rams, I don’t care what the spread is.

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9 Comments

  1. Not a sprots guy either, so I’m confused by the “John Wayne of football.” John Wayne actually played football. So wouldn’t John Wayne be the “John Wayne of football”?

    • I’m not surprised at all by this descriptor. Since we’re placing bets, I’ll play a trifecta: the person who wrote this is in their early 20s and has no idea who John Wayne is; has never watched a football game in their lives and in any event though American refers to soccer as football because of their experience during a sham semester abroad program; may be an unpaid intern but who cares because their parents think the whole experience is worth what it costs to keep them working for free in one of the most expensive cities on earth.

    • SAME, Farscy!😉

      And I was VERY happily proven right, when the second song of the mix came up😁

      Last week (after news broke that Snoop bought Death Row), Boy-roommie and I were talking about *that* news, and the Halftime show…

      I said, “They HAVE to do California Love, then!!!” and Boy-roommie was like, “Whaaaa?!?!???”

      So I logicked it out to him:

      Snoop just got the rights to Death Row…

      Tupac was with Death Row when California Love came out**

      Dre was the rapper on California Love

      In the lead-up to gameday, Dre talked about how amazingly cool it was, “To be performing at the superb owl, in his own backyard.

      I logic-ed Boy-roommie around to seeing that there HAD to be both references to NWA’s Fuck Tha Police *and* California Love, because it was Dre’s roots, it pushed back on alllllll the Tipper Gore/”parental ratings”/ “Explicit Lyrics bullshit from so many decades ago,

      AND he & Snoop would never leave Pac out of the biggest show/audience they’ll ever have (no matter HOW big any of their live shows may be–this is a WORLDWIDE *mainstream* audience!!!!!!)…

      When I laid it allll out in those terms? Boy-roommie knew I was right, and cheeseball-factor aside, it HAD to be in the setlist!😉😁🤗💖

       

      **something I didn’t catch back during that conversation, that I did catch today–All Eyez on Me was released on Feb. 13, 1996-exactly 26 years to the date😉💖

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Eyez_on_Me

       

      So YES it 100% HAD to be in the set list!

      😁😁😁

  2. Based on the amount of booze in that cake I’m guessing it had a big self medication role in the Youngblood family on recovery days. I wouldn’t be surprised if the team trainer slipped Barb Youngblood some special “powdered sugar” for that too.

    • Drunken Bundt Cake would also make a nice term of endearment. “What’s wrong, my little drunken bundt cake? You seem so sad.” “Oh, drunken bundt cake, I’m so happy to be home, I missed you so much.”

  3. I’ve made a simplified version of that chili dip for years. Spread the cream cheese evenly in the bottom of a glass pie plate or 9×9 baking pan. Spread a can of no-bean chili over the top. Cover chili with shredded cheddar cheese. Microwave 4-6 minutes until the cheese on top is completely melted. Attack with Fritos or tortilla chips. We even make a GF/DF version for KidSmacks3 with Daiya or Tofutti cream cheese and cheese shreds!

     

    ETA: I actually think it’s even better if you use the 1/3 less fat cream cheese  or Neufchatel. 

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