Food You Can Eat: Celebrity Sunday Matinee: John Tesh and His Avocado Fetish

The best burgers include avocado. A @UCLA study found people who regularly add avocado to meals have a lower weight & BMI than people who don’t. #IFYL

— John Tesh (@JohnTesh) February 12, 2019

I was delighted to learn that John Tesh is turning 71 today, because I had forgotten all about him, and his wife, Connie Sellecca. But they loomed large in my 1980s consciousness, uniting in wedlock in 1992. I was almost run down by John Tesh while lingering at the gates of Paramount Studios in the late 8os (where Entertainment Tonight is/was filmed), that’s a long story, but luckily John braked in time and I was nimble enough to leap out of the way. No hard feelings, he smiled and waved. Working on the Paramount lot must involve a lot of close calls with clueless tourists like myself when you’re just trying to go home. 

Anyway, our friend John was born in Garden City, Long Island, in 1952. Unremarkable enough. And raised a Baptist. Have you ever been to Garden City, Long Island, or met people from there? He was very active in his church and joined the choir and everything. Garden City must have been a much different place in 1952 than it was in 1962 or 1972. Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely, and fairly close in, and pretty expensive, even by Long Island standards, but this would be like learning about a colony of Druids living in Scarsdale or something.

He studied music and communications at North Carolina State University, so maybe that explains it, NC roots. He really wanted to be a musician, but a pal got him a gig at a local TV station or something and he hopped around, job to job. At one point he was working in Nashville and dated fellow but rival local newscaster Oprah Winfrey in the 1970s. I am going to leave that alone.

In his spare time he kept working on his music, which I also won’t go into, but it’s super-Christian, at least in the later years. From 1986 to 1996 he and Mary Hart and Leeza Gibbons (that name grates) was in there somewhere, were the co-hosts of Entertainment Tonight, and it was during that golden age that I was almost mowed down. He also was a sort of freelance sportscaster and sometimes got hauled in to do Olympics coverage, especially gymnastics. God knows why. 

I don’t have a lot more to say about him except that he and his wife Connie…Connie Sellecca digression. if you’re old enough you might remember her from “Hotel” from the 80s. It was wonderful. Every episode had a parade of guest stars, like “Fantasy Island” or “The Love Boat.” There was one episode where hotel guest Robert Reed, Dad Mike Brady from “The Brady Bunch,” comes out, which was like, “huh, that’s a weird plotline.” But then he did come out in real life. Anyway, Connie’s character (Christine Francis, for you trivia obsessives) actually ended up running the hotel, kind of like Valentina on “The White Lotus,” Season 2, but no girl-on-girl action.

Where was I? Oh, yes, Jack and Con have one girl, Prima, which is a grade of beef in Italy, and Con came to the marriage with a son through her first husband, Gil Gerard, who was Buck Rogers in the early 80s TV series “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.” Poor Gil is not doing so hot and hasn’t been for the last 30 or 40 years but you can google him for yourself. 

So now I’m stuck for a burger recipe that includes avocado as a topping. But it is summer and you can never have enough burger recipes. This sounds like a job for The Food Network! This recipe was on their website but apparently taken from their magazine, so it’s more narrative and doesn’t have a separate list of ingredients. Not only does it have avocado but there’s a little cilantro thrown in, to inflame FYCE passions!

Bobby Flay’s LA Burger

Bobby’s Perfect Patty

Shape 6 ounces of 80 percent lean ground beef chuck into a uniform patty, no more than 3/4 inch thick (don’t overwork the meat). Make a depression in the center with your thumb so the burger won’t bulge; the indent will rise as the patty cooks. Preheat a grill or cast-iron grill pan to high. Brush the burger with canola oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill until golden brown and slightly charred, turning once (7 minutes for medium-rare). Avoid pressing with a spatula! Add cheese for the last minute of cooking.

Cheese

Your pick: Monterey Jack is a California favorite, but Bobby loves this burger with cheddar, too.

Avocado Relish

Avocado is one of Bobby’s favorite ingredients. He mixes 2 chopped Hass avocados with 1/2 diced small onion, 1 minced jalapeno, the juice of 1 lime, 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro, and salt and pepper.

Watercress

L.A. doesn’t do iceberg lettuce*, so Bobby tops off the burger with this peppery green instead.

Tomato

One thick, juicy slice takes the place of ketchup.

* Editor’s note: Is he completely trolling us? What does he think is shredded and used to fill tacos, or used to make wedge salads, which you can find all over LA, because a lot of the restaurants are stuck in the 1950s and 1960s? I could take Bobby on an LA culinary adventure and we could spend a week eating nothing that wasn’t available during the Eisenhower administration. And these restaurants aren’t being ironic or nostalgic, it’s what they’ve always done and what their patrons want, even if the patrons were born in this century. Maybe the patrons are being ironic, but who cares, as long as it pays the bills.