A big, fat, happy birthday to Lainie Kazan, who played family matriarch Maria Portokalos in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and its sequel, and in the ill-fated (seven episodes) TV spin-off based on the movie.

I don’t have a lot to say about Kazan. She, like half of Hollywood of a certain age, was born in Brooklyn and attended Erasmus Hall High School (c.f. Barbra Streisand from last month.) She started out as a Broadway singer and, in 1954, understudied her fellow Erasmus alum Barbra Streisand in “Funny Girl” and preformed the role one day only, a matinee and an evening performance. She gained some fame and in 1970 posed nude in “Playboy”, then went off to manage and headline at two Playboy jazz clubs. This wasn’t as strange as it sounds now; at one time Playboy Clubs were high-end watering holes and entertainment venues and there were dozens of them. The one in New York, for example, was on 59th Street right off Fifth.

Anyway, Kazan went on to appear in 1982’s “My Favorite Year,” playing, what else, an overbearing mother (she was all of 42, and only 14 years older than her “son,” Mark Linn-Baker, who went on to play Larry on “Perfect Strangers” which, wiki tells me, ran for an incredible eight seasons.) Around the same time Kazan started showing up on “The Nanny” as, what else, overbearing Aunt Frieda.

Lainie achieved worldwide acclaim years later as, what else, the overbearing mother in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2.” Right after “Wedding/Original” she popped up in “Gigli” but I don’t know as what or who, since like everyone else I’ve never seen “Gigli.” While “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2” was still in theaters she was caught shoplifting from a Gelson’s (supermarket) in the San Fernando Valley and later it was learned that this wasn’t her first time.

I like to imagine she was shoplifting ingredients for her bouillabaisse. I’ve wanted to post a bouillabaisse recipe for quite some time. With seafood and shellfish prices the way they are this is incredibly expensive to make (I’ve only attempted something like a bouillabaisse once, it was years ago, and it was expensive then) and is kind of a pain in the ass. But if you have a day to spare (that’s not cooking, that’s dealing with all the seafood; the cooking is quick) and don’t mind having your kitchen smell like a wholesale fish market, a good bouillabaisse has enormous appeal, and your friends and family will enjoy it.

Lainie Kazan’s Bouillabaisse

1/2 lb. fresh red snapper, fileted

1/2 lb. striped bass, fileted

1/2 lb. pike, fileted

1 lb. sea scallops

1 lb. fresh lobster meat

1 lb. raw shrimp, medium-size, cut into 2 pieces each

1/3 cup olive oil

3-4 shallots, chopped fine

1 clove garlic, chopped fine

2 very small carrots, peeled and diced

2 leeks, chopped

1/2 stalk celery (with leaves)

1 cup dry Sauterne wine

Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

1 bay leaf

Good pinch of saffron

Sprinkle of thyme

6 fresh tomatoes, peeled and chopped

Water (or fish stock or clam juice)

Scant tbsp. arrowroot

45 littleneck clams

Cut fish into 2 oz. chunks. Keep fish separated as it will be added by stages. Shell shrimp, lobster; set aside. Use large sauté pan (or kettle). Add shallots, garlic; sauté a few minutes. Add carrots, leeks and celery; sauté a few minutes longer. Add lobster and shrimp. Sauté 5 minutes. Add wine, bring to boil, add rest of fish chunks, salt and pepper, bay leaf, saffron, thyme and diced tomatoes. Add water (or fish stock or clam juice) to cover fish. Simmer slowly until fish is cooked and firm-textured. Do not overcook. Total cooking time should be from 15-20 minutes, beginning when lobster and shrimp are sautéed. Remove fish to heated bowl. Reduce stock slightly. Mix arrowroot with a little water, blend slowly into fish stock. Cook sauce, stirring to thicken. Spoon over fish. Garnish top with littleneck clams (steamed separately). Serve with day-old French bread cut into thick slabs, lightly fried in garlic-flavored olive oil. Serve piping hot as main course. Serves 10-12.

————————————————-

In summary: Quite honestly, just bite the bullet, pull out your platinum credit card, and order this at a restaurant, preferably somewhere in or around Marseille, where this originated. And by the way, like a lot of seafood, this used to be a dish for the poor: it was a stew made from leftover/unwanted fish scraps.