For this CSM, I must be very circumspect. If Better Half, let’s call him Agent 99, ever got wind that I was journaling on Deadsplinter, let alone dragging him into this madness, there would be no Half, there would be angry words, expulsion, and a possible lawsuit.
Agent 99 was born in Boston to a mother and father. His father worked for the federal government and his mother was a public high school teacher. Like many public school teachers in urban systems she refused to send him into that, and he was privately educated. He played competitive tennis at his very wealthy, very white, suburban day school (he didn’t board.) I’ve actually played tennis against Agent 99 and he’s very good, and I played a lot of tennis myself in high school.
He applied to four colleges and was accepted to all of them. Unfortunately for him, and I can’t imagine this would happen in 2023, his Ivy League choice offered him almost no money, so he ended up attending UMass. ZooMass. There, for better or worse, he met his lifelong best buddies. I did the same where I went to school, and he feels the same way about my collegiate best buddies. It is a mixed bag.
He began his professional life rotating through suburban Boston office parks as an executive trainee. I’d sooner hang myself. One of his colleagues actually did, sadly enough, but at home, not at the office, thankfully. However, through some mutual friends, a very strange Venn diagram, we met, and I lured him to NYC. His company, which was cycling him through these suburban office parks, quickly saw some promise in him and transferred him to the NYC location. I said, “You can always live with us.” I had a platonic roommate at the time.
I have always said that you shouldn’t marry for money, you should marry for love and for potential, and that’s what we eventually did. I mean, we were so young, it was ridiculous. It wasn’t actually marrying, that was forbidden, it was coupling off with a promise that we wouldn’t get into too much trouble. AIDS and all. Even European-style social peck-on-the-cheek-kissing. But we’re both the marrying kind and now, 35+ years and four dogs and four apartments later, here we are.
One of the ways I lured him in was, the platonic roommate moved out and we had enough money to swing the apartment ourselves. God bless those late ‘80s/early-‘90s rent-stabilized rents. Once Agent 99 was installed and defenseless I would cook for him. I wasn’t bad. I had had lessons from my amateur chef club at college, but also so many disasters. I found that I could make the Marcella Hazan stuff from an old second-hand cookbook I had found somewhere pretty well, so I would cook out of that. Then one enchanted evening…I have cycled through hundreds, maybe thousands, of books over the course of my life, and that cookbook is long gone.
However, thanks to Al Gore, I found this on the Internet, so this is what I made. It reads like it’s more involved than it is, so read carefully. It also supposedly serves 8 to 10, but not in this household it doesn’t. I halved the recipe, gave some of the wiped off prepared chicken to the Faithful Hound, and didn’t have much in the way of leftovers. I’m not sure if it’s really a Marcella Hazan recipe, but Sergey Brin and the other guy who founded google seem to think it is.
1 (3-1/2-lb.) chicken, cut into eighths, or 3 lb. chicken legs and thighs or 3 lbs skin-on chicken thighs
2-1/2- to 3-1/2 tsp. kosher salt (divided)
1-1/8 tsp. freshly ground black pepper (divided)
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup plus 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil (divided)
1/2 lb. button or cremini mushrooms, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices (2 cups)
2 stalks of celery, cut into ¼ inch pieces
1 large yellow onion, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices (about 1-1/2 cups)
1 large carrot, peeled and cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices (about 3/4 cups)
1 large green bell pepper, seeded and cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices (about 1-1/2 cups)
1 large clove garlic, finely chopped (about 1 Tbs.)
1-1/2 cups dry white wine, such as Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, or Sauvignon Blanc
1 (28-oz.) can whole tomatoes, with the juice
Heat the oven to 350°F. Arrange the chicken in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet or plate. Season with 2 tsp. of the salt and 1 tsp. of the pepper. (I like to massage the seasoning into the chicken to ensure it’s evenly distributed.) Place the flour in a shallow dish. Dip the chicken in the flour, making sure to coat it on all sides, then return it to the sheet.
Place a large (12- to 14-inch), straight-sided sauté pan or a Dutch oven over high heat for several minutes. When hot, add 1/4 cup of the oil and heat until shimmering. Add the chicken, skin side down (that way the fat “melts” as it cooks and gives you a bit more sizzle in the pan), in a single layer and sauté over high heat without moving it for about 4 minutes, or until browned on the first side. (If the pieces stick, that means they haven’t browned long enough. Let them cook a bit longer. If sticking continues to be a problem, use a sharp-edged spatula to loosen the skin from the pan.) Turn the chicken over and repeat, lowering the heat to medium-high if it gets too dark too quickly. Transfer the browned chicken to a clean baking sheet, trying to leave as much oil as possible in the pan.
Let the pan heat up for a minute over high heat. Add the mushrooms, season with the remaining 1/2 tsp. salt and 1/8 tsp. black pepper, and let them sauté, without stirring, for about 2 minutes. Stir and let the mushrooms sauté undisturbed for another 2 minutes. Stir again and repeat, if necessary, until they’re almost all seared and golden. Remove the mushrooms to the baking sheet with the chicken, leaving as much fat in the pan as possible.
Reduce the heat to medium-high. Add the remaining 3 Tbs. olive oil and then the onions, carrots, and peppers. Sauté until the onions are very soft, 10 to 15 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute more, until fragrant.
Deglaze the pan with the wine, stirring to scrape up the browned bits. Add the tomatoes, squeezing them (with clean hands) as you add them to the pan to help them break down faster. Return the chicken and mushrooms to the pan and bring to a simmer. Cover the pan tightly with foil or a lid and place in the oven. Cook for about 40 minutes, or until the chicken is very tender.
The sauce should be the perfect consistency (like a rich soup rather than pasta sauce), but if it seems at all watery, transfer the chicken to a plate and tent with foil to keep warm. Simmer the sauce, uncovered, over medium-high heat until thickened, about 5 minutes. (How long this takes depends on how thin the sauce is and the dimensions of your pan. Just keep an eye on it so you don’t over-reduce it). Taste and add 1 more tsp. salt if needed. Serve with rice, pasta, or crusty bread.
What was it like going to college at 10 and getting married as a teenager?
Ha! Because I dicked around in Europe for so long (in every sense of the word) I’m actually over a year older than Better Half, but we graduated from our colleges in the same year. But that post-collegiate freedom what short-lived. I’ve reported here before, I have Marcella Hazan to thank, I’m convinced of it.
I love the story! Happy birthday to your better half!
I like stories like this myself. I wouldn’t mind hearing more relationship stories from Deadsplinterites, something that Jezebel’s Saturday Night Social used to do so well. I especially liked the horror stories, but I bet those aren’t fun to tell.
This was a delightful read! Thank you!
When I write my Autobiography In 17 Volumes, as promised somewhere else, an entire volume is going to be devoted to:
“Cousin Matthew Decides He Will Not Remain Celibate: From His Loss Of Virginity On A Small Sailboat On An Inland Lake When He Was A High School Freshman With A Boy Only One Or Two Years His Senior To The Day He Renounced His Sluttiness And Met Agent 99.”
You should leave your DS codename and password in your will for Better Half to discover if he outlives you. Or better yet, have your memoir printed 😉
Oh believe me, unless BH has a work-induced stroke or heart attack, he’s going to outlive me. That’s the good thing about both of us working from home. I’ll hear him chewing out a colleague/employee/entire team (in a respectful but “impactful” way) and once the Zoom call or whatever is over I’ll say, “There’s some cheese and olives and that ciabatta. Are you ready for a snack? Also, it’s 4 pm, which I think is 9 pm in Britain, so it’s high time I mixed myself a little beverage.”