Food You Can Eat: Cheese Crunchers

Yes, I took this picture. Yes, it sucks.

First things first:  Moving back into cookie recipe territory for the family cookbook, I decided to pick up with this one because cream cheese is always a good idea.  It comes from my youngest aunt—she was so young compared to her siblings that she actually hung out with the grandchildren during family get togethers.  Ah, Catholicism.

A caveat before we get started:  The recipe calls for cutting them into 1” x 2” pieces, but honestly, I think that’s stupid.  I did cut them that way for the purposes of the recipe, even though I knew it wouldn’t work very well, but if I make these again at some point, I will definitely cut them as larger squares.

Here’s what you’ll need:

1 Pkg. Butterscotch Morsels

6 Tbsp. Butter

2 Cups Graham Cracker Crumbs

2 Cups Nuts, chopped

16 oz. Cream Cheese

½ Cup Sugar

4 Eggs

½ Cup Flour

2 Tbsp. Lemon Juice

Using a double boiler (but not bringing the water to a boil), melt chips and butter together until smooth.  Considering that food manufacturers have made changes to how things like butterscotch chips are made (and those changes were ONLY for the sake of making them cheaper to make which also means it makes the product suck), this is a slightly more involved process than it initially sounds.  At a certain point, the chips will only melt so much until all that’s left are a bunch of tiny little cores of the chips which will refuse to melt properly.  Just do the best you can while always remembering that corporations are not your friends.  Transfer to a large bowl and stir in the graham cracker crumbs and nuts with a fork until the mixture forms small crumbs. 

At first you’ll think you need more liquid–you don’t.

Set aside 2 cups of the mixture for the topping.  Press remaining mixture into an ungreased 15” x 10” x 1” pan.  Bake in a 350-degree oven for 12 minutes.

Before baking.
After baking.

In a separate bowl, beat cream cheese while adding sugar in a steady stream.  Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each.  Blend in flour and lemon juice. 

Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl and then run the mixer again to incorporate all of the cream cheese that will get stuck.

Timing here is critical. You want the filling to be 100% ready to go before the crust comes out of the oven so you can take advantage of the heat. Pour evenly over the still-hot baked crust. 

Perfection.

Sprinkle reserved crumb mixture over the top.  Cool completely. Yes, this means you aren’t baking the filling with the eggs in it. No, it will not kill you. Please stop.

Even more perfect perfection.

Cut into 2” x 1” bars and return to refrigerator to chill before serving.  The inference here is probably to cut them into bars before putting them in the fridge at all, but I found that the cheese filling was still pretty tacky so I chilled it both before and after cutting.

These are really very good.  I find myself being kind of annoyed that I’ve missed out on all these great desserts growing up.  Then again, my family moved across the country when I was 15 so it’s my parents’ fault.  One more resentment to bring up in therapy.

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About butcherbakertoiletrymaker 575 Articles
When you can walk its length, and leave no trace, you will have learned.

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