Food You Can Eat: Crab Crescents

These are best-served in a bowl and consumed in bed while watching pirated Youtube videos of cozy British murder mysteries

Recipe via Stephanie Howard via Taste of Home; image via Taste of Home.

Crescent Recipe Week continues, at least for me. At some point Pillsbury™ is going to thank me for this, but so far they haven’t (I have a PayPal account or you can Venmo me, Pillsbury™). Although to be fair, this is yet another recipe that doesn’t explicitly say you should use their product, this is from Taste of Home, that invaluable user-generated content provider. This was submitted by Stephanie Howard, of Oakland, California. However, in my neck of the woods, where the general supermarket only carries one or two brands of any given product, I turn again and again to my Minneapolis overlords.

This is really an appetizer but if you, like me, are astonished by how expensive it is to make a simple lobster roll, let alone buy one from some over-hyped food truck (“Twenty-nine dollars and we don’t take cash ‘cause, you know, crime, you doing ApplePay?” “No, I am not ‘doing’ ApplePay and I don’t know what that is.”) this make for a fun, delicious, and easy at-home substitute.


1 tube (8 ounces) refrigerated crescent rolls (and I think we all know what that means)

3 tablespoons prepared pesto

1/2 cup fresh crabmeat (don’t get me started about the now-extortionate local fishmonger, who used to have the lowest prices in all of Manhattan as far as I could tell)

How to:

Preheat the oven to 375°. Unroll crescent dough; separate into 8 triangles. Cut each triangle in half lengthwise, forming 2 triangles. Spread 1/2 teaspoon pesto over each triangle; place 1 rounded teaspoon of crab along the wide end of each triangle. 

Roll up triangles from the wide ends and place point side down 1 in. apart on an ungreased baking sheet.

Bake until golden brown, 10-12 minutes. Serve warm.



    • The fishmonger serves as something of a market-making seafood broker, with prices rising and falling (mostly rising these past two years) almost daily. I feel like I’m at the docks of the old Fulton Fish Market, except I don’t have to get there at 4 AM. I’d love to know where they get their supply but like with a lot of things in New York it’s probably best not to ask. Anyway, I still love them because unlike the Fulton Fish Market they don’t just sell stuff plucked from the sea; they have tubs of lump crabmeat and lobster, and they’ll filet fish so you can buy 8 oz. steaks rather than a 16-lb. whole creature. They even have a grill where you can buy takeout dinners at a really reasonable price. The takeout dinners come with tons of steamed vegetables, so healthy, and the whole thing comes drizzled with this delicious sauce that I’ve never been able to replicate. It’s an Asian operation so I’m guessing it’s a simple soy/hoisin/rice wine/? combo but I’ve never gotten the proportions right.

  1. My parents were very against processed food when I was a kid due to it being “bad for you”* and being overpriced. For example, we never kept Bisquick in the pantry because “pancake ingredients aren’t expensive, all that shit is already in the pantry.” Etc etc

    So Pillsbury crescent rolls were so fancy to me because I’d only get them at family holiday dinners. And let me tell you, whatever 1980s recipe my aunt made with the crescent rolls and the can of poppyseed filling? OMG that was my favorite side dish for years.

    So the idea of using crescent rolls and crab meat? Real crab! OMG what is this, the Ritz-Carlton?!?!

    *joke’s on them! Despite not keeping desserts or processed food or soda in the house, I was still a fat kid

    • The only thing I resented about the food in my house growing up was that my parents never bought butter, only margarine. This must have been an economy decision. When I’d have dinner at my best friend’s house, where they served butter, I’d want to cram a whole stick in my face, but I’d refrain, because that’s not how I was raised.

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