Food You Can Eat: Cruel Lime Cookies

These cookies made me cry – bad cookies!

These cookies were a problem from start to finish (I probably should have a made a Bundt cake, instead). The recipe from Better Homes and Gardens appeared simple, but nooooo. The dough was sticky and hard to roll, the cookie cutters broke the dough, the icing looked like a preschooler applied it, and because of redoing the rolling every few cookies, they took forever. The result was akin to Great British Baking Show commentary, “your flavors are excellent, but your result is a mess”.

These are a lime cookie, made with zest.

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and line your baking sheets with parchment paper. Mix together 1 cup softened butter, 1/2 cup granulated sugar, 1 tablespoon lime zest, and 2 and 1/4 cups flour. After mixing, mold the dough with your hands into two large, smooth balls.

Roll out the first ball on a lightly floured surfaced, about 1/8 inch thick. In my case, the infernal dough stuck to the surface and the rolling pin, all the time. Using cookie cutters, cut out shapes and put them on the baking sheet. (Were I to make these again, I will roll the dough into logs and refrigerate before slicing them into rounds for baking.) Bake for 10-12 minutes and cool on a wire rack.

Meanwhile…the recipe called for a buttercream frosting, when a mirror-glaze finish would have looked better (rolls eyes). Beat together 1/3 cup butter, 2 cups powdered sugar, 1 to 2 teaspoons lime zest, and 2-3 tablespoons of milk, until spreadable. Tint with green food coloring.

Spread the frosting between two cookies to make a sandwich, or ice the top of one cookie (finishing it with green sanding sugar). These are very good, but a pain in the neck to make.  

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About Elliecoo 523 Articles
Four dogs, one partner. The dogs win.

13 Comments

  1. The only way I consider myself a Master Chef is that I masterfully make many things sloppily and not Instagram-ready. You know what the virtue of that is? Your guests are assured that you didn’t just lazily order from a bakery or a restaurant takeout. You have put time and effort into feeding them, which gives everyone a warm, rosy glow (especially after pre-dinner drinks). They will happily overlook the fact that they would not be surprised to learn that The Ravenous Hound had a pass at their dinner before it arrived on the table.

    “Plating” is for the try-hards.

  2. When I was a kid we had Christmas cookie cutters that included mystery shapes — one was maybe Santa with a sack? — which we then slopped icing on in puddles. We’d hang some on the tree, and we had a cat who liked to eat them. The wreckage was hilarious. I wish we had taken a photo.

  3. @Elliecoo You have my sympathy I’ve had two bad cookie days in a row. I ruined my Pignoli cookies yesterday. I thought it was because I was in a hurry and didn’t chill my dough. But I ruined both my brownies and a batch of slice and bake shortbread cookies today. I don’t know what is going on! Maybe my oven is on the fritz.

    • One of my sisters once made a batch of holiday-theme cookies that came out misshapen, much to her consternation. I was lingering in the kitchen with her youngest, who I think was about seven or eight, when they were on the cooling rack. The youngest, her daughter, wanted to dive right in but they were too hot and they hadn’t been decorated yet. I think these were Halloween cookies.

      To distract her, I made up this wild story that her mother and I knew Egyptian hieroglyphics. “You know, like the pyramids, the Sphinx, the pharaohs…” “Uh huh?” “Well, your mother made a message. I’ll try to tell you what it means. Hmmm. After the rising of the third full moon the goddess Isis shall appear and the barking of the dogs will mean it’s a propitious time to play Monopoly.” “What does that mean?” “Well, you’ll have to ask your mother.”

      Mother was not impressed by my efforts to keep the tot entertained. “Tell me, Mattie, how many Mattie drinks have you had tonight?” “I’m as sober as a judge, which means maybe three?”

      • Uncles are supposed to be fabricators of tall tales like that. I’m sure I’ve lied about all kinds of things to my niece and nephews. I have a brother in law who has the advantage of having lived in Central America and being able to tell truthful stories about jaguars, crocodiles and monkeys.

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