Food You Can Eat: Olivier Salad

Don’t ask why, but I make this sometimes. Neither of us has a trace of Russian or Eastern European roots, but I came across it years ago at this Russian restaurant in farthest Brooklyn as part of one of the strangest “all you can eat” buffets and the other patrons couldn’t get enough of it. I can read enough Cyrillic to understand that it was called Salad Olivier, and I wondered what the connection to Sir Laurence might have been. None at all. It was first made by Lucien Olivier (so the story goes) in Imperial Russia in the 1860s, and like Beef Stroganoff, it caught on.

I normally would sometimes make a big batch of this and put it out at a party along with a lot of other stuff where my intent was to feed a crowd but not actually provide dinner. I don’t know what you or I would do with knowing this during a pandemic, but if you make this and serve it with black bread, hard cheeses, herring, smoked salmon, lots of vodka, whatever else you want, it makes for a fine, snack-y, deep-freeze-outside dinner. And maybe one of you can tell me what it’s exactly supposed to complement? Is it a starter salad or a side? It’s a potato salad but it’s so much more, so I’ve served it in warmer months too.

Anyway, here goes. There are many (slight) variations but this is the one that works for me, scaled down quite a bit so that two humans don’t wind up with a month’s worth (fear not: it makes for excellent leftovers). Amounts are a little vague for this reason.

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3 or 4 russet potatoes

1 or 2 big carrot(s)

3 large eggs, room temperature

1 medium-sized onion

4 to 6 oz. frozen peas

3 or 4 medium dill pickles

1 cup of mixed 1/2 mayonnaise (nothing too eggy) and 1/2 sour cream, to start with

Some meat, which is optional. This is difficult to explain. Go to a deli and ask them to give you about 1/2 lb. of roast ham sliced off the bone in a large chunk or two or 1/2 pound of unsliced bologna. Or, wander over and pick up a rotisserie chicken, you won’t be using all of it.

Some dill to garnish, this apparently is obligatory.

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On the one hand this is a pain in the ass but on the other everything has to be room temp at most, so take your time.

Boil the potatoes so they cook through but don’t become mushy. While they’re boiling, peel the carrots and cut them into large chunks. If the potatoes are still boiling, use the time to dice the onion, if you haven’t already, and put it in a large bowl. When the potatoes are done remove them and let them cool and boil the carrots, but again, don’t let them get mushy. While the carrots are boiling pop your package of frozen peas into the microwave and do what the package says.

Take the carrots out and let them cool while you then hard boil the eggs. There’s a reason why you do this in this order, or at least the way I do it. This only takes one saucepan, for one thing. Take out the peas and let them cool. While the eggs are boiling dice the dill pickles. To minimize bowl usage add them to the bowl where you have the onions. Cube the carrots into small squares and add those. If the eggs aren’t hard-boiled yet start peeling the potatoes. Again, it doesn’t matter how long this whole thing takes. Meanwhile, when the peas cool down (room temp) add that to your bowl. Now cube the potatoes and add them to the bowl.

When the eggs are hard-boiled drain the water from the saucepan and fill with cold water. Pull out whatever meat you’ve chosen, if using. Yes, cube it too, about 1 cup’s worth. I usually use more and I’ve never used bologna but I know you can and maybe should, but that might be an American variant.

Now, the end is nigh. Peel the eggs and cube them too. Try not to make an eggy crumble out of them. If the carpal tunnel hasn’t set in yet cube the eggs, or at least slice them.

Now, everything is in the large bowl (imagine making six or ten times of this amount, BUT I HAVE) so stir it up gently so the eggs don’t disappear on you. Into the fridge it goes, covered.

Knives put away and the technical stuff done, pour yourself a shot of Russian vodka (if using) and remove the mayo and the sour cream from the fridge. Remember the time you saw Christine Ebersole at that tiny theater downtown performing in “The Cherry Orchard.” As he will be, if The Better Half is hovering around tell him, “Did you know that the Russian word for Germans means ‘people who can’t speak’? Isn’t that interesting?” “I’ll come back when you’re done.” Mix some sour cream and some mayo in a measuring cup so you get about 1 cup. I might make a little more, I’m guessing on this “table for two” Olivier Salad recipe. Put that in the fridge.

When you’re ready to serve, take out the bowl and the measuring cup and gently spoon in the mayo/sour cream mix and stir so that it all gets coated. Leave no ingredient behind. Top and mix in with some dill from your building’s handy communal garden and you’re done.