Food You Can Eat: Rolling Stones Potato Salad

Why, yes, that is one of my home-made pickles. Why do you ask?

First things first:  I spent almost the first half of my life in the restaurant business, either growing up and being around it, or working in it.  One of my many stints was at a chain which is named after a particular Rolling Stones song (hint:  it’s not Bitch).  It sucked just like most of the restaurants (especially chains) where I worked, but there was one rather good thing which came out of it and that was learning the recipe for what is, quite possibly, the best potato salad on the planet.  It’s a little mayo-heavy, but for this recipe it works.

A caveat before we get started:  There’s a reason why the real name isn’t being mentioned here because I’m pretty sure I would get busted for industrial espionage and thrown in the clink for the remainder of my life.  Remember, kids:  the two crimes that can never be forgiven in this country are stealing from rich people and stealing from corporations.  So, let’s just keep this our little secret, shall we?

Here’s what you’ll need:

3 ½ Lbs. Potatoes, cubed

1 ½ Cups Celery, diced

½ Cup Green Onions, diced

½ Cup Green Pepper, diced

1 ½ Cups Hard Boiled Eggs, chopped

1 Cup Bacon, cooked (crispy, goddammit) and diced

2 Cups Mayonnaise

1 ½ Tbsp. Mustard

½ tsp. Celery Salt

1 tsp. Salt

1 tsp. Pepper

Cook your potatoes in a pot of water over high heat until a fork can easily pierce through the center of a cube.  Drain and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking process.

Mix together potatoes, celery, green onions, green pepper, eggs and bacon until well distributed.

This is so much better than German potato salad.

In a separate bowl, mix together the mayo, mustard, celery salt, salt and pepper. 

Miracle Whip is NOT salad dressing. THIS is salad dressing.

Add to the potato mixture and mix well.

I could eat a whole pound of this without even trying.

Serve at your next picnic or other summer gathering and be very, very evasive when asked where you got the recipe.

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About butcherbakertoiletrymaker 581 Articles
When you can walk its length, and leave no trace, you will have learned.

29 Comments

      • Definitely refrigerate so it gets nice and chilled.

        German potato salad fucking sucks–especially when it’s served hot, which potato salad should never be.  I’m sure it embarrassed my German grandmother to no end, but I’ll just chalk it up to my Irish DNA.

        • I’ve actually been quite curious for years about why the Germans love vinegar so much (there are many common German salads that use it) but they shy away from mayonnaise. Probably because it is alleged to be French. Supposedly it was created to celebrate the French victory over the British at Mahón in Menorca (so Mahón -> mayonnaise, like Lyon -> Lyonaise, and Marseille -> Marseillaise) in the late 1700s. Why they were all hanging out in the Balearic Islands is a long story.

          • I didn’t know this was a thing, but my German grandfather did adore vinegar.
             
            I will happily eat both German potato salad and American mayo-based potato salad. I tend to believe potatoes are delicious in most forms. 

            • If you order something in Germany or Austria that comes “mit Salat” (“with salad”) it will usually be a small serving of shaved carrots, cucumber slices, diced tomatoes, cabbage maybe, some combo of something like that, with vinegar. I have no idea why. I’ve never thought to ask but there must be some internet resource, probably in German, that could tell me.

  1. Looks great. I’m sure I could find an appropriate sub for the bacon and make this. I would have to actually buy celery salt though, which is one of those things that occasionally pops up on a recipe and I debate if it’s worth having around my kitchen. 

  2. Growing up at family parties I had one great aunt who still made the German potato salad that my mom’s generation fucking loved.

    Loved so much that me and the cousins would never get any because the adults would descend on it like a plague of locusts so naturally we always assumed it must be fucking amazing.

    One time I managed to get a little before my uncle nabbed the rest. 

    NO NO IT IS NOT IT’S HOT GROSS VINEGAR GROSSNESS 

      • Astonishingly there is not a single recipe for any kind of potato salad in the entire Sinatra Celebrity Cookbook. From memory I could have contributed an entire chapter devoted to it. But I was not one of Frank and Barb’s celebrity friends. Diane Sawyer did contribute her Roasted Potato Skins with Scallion Dip but that’s like a glorified stuffed baked potato. 

        I made Conrad Bain’s Cherry Tomato Surprise salad recipe but I got caught. While Better Half was out with Faithful Hound I brought the book with me to see whether we had a bottled dressing that would mimic his vinaigrette recipe, to spare me the trouble. While I was rooting through the shelf on the fridge door he reappeared unexpectedly because he had forgotten to bring along one of our eco-conscious poop bags (for the Faithful Hound, not for him.) 

        It was like something out of “I Love Lucy.” “M-a-a-a-tti-e-e-e, what are you doing?” “I thought we’d have this cherry tomato/celery salad, that’s why I–“

        “Oh, God. Well, if this is what makes you happy.”

        So that makes four recipes so far. Tomorrow night, for vegetarian/pescatarian Friday, I’ll be making Cheryl Tiegs’s Fish With Fresh Tomatoes. This sounds very promising and I may get an FYCE post out of it. It’s very simple. You sauté garlic, strain it, and put it aside. Then, in a casserole dish, you layer tomatoes (I have cherry tomatoes to use up, thanks Connie), some of the garlic, some basil; then fish fillets (swordfish or tuna; BH will see what the local fishmonger has), some anchovies and red pepper flakes. Then you add more tomatoes, the rest of the garlic, more basil, and drizzle with olive oil. 

        Here’s the daunting part, when it feels like it’s 100 degrees outside: You bake it for 20–25 minutes at 400 degrees, but with my oven it’ll probably go more quickly. Plus I can get my open-plan main area pretty chilly when I want so I will persevere. This will be recipe 5.

        Unfortunately for me some of Frank and Barb”s friends were celebrity chefs of the era and their recipes are a little daunting, so I’m gong to save them for winter. There’s a very involved one for a Chicken Bouillabaisse from Café des Artistes, where I’ve been many times, it’s a friend’s favorite and it’s right across Broadway from Lincoln Center. Alain Ducasse, when he was at the Hotel de Paris in Monte Carlo, which I have also eaten at, for lunch, once, has garden vegetable salad with truffle which seems doable, but expensive. Paul Bocuse has a recipe for Caramel Custard, also pretty easy.

        Wolfgang Puck has a recipe for Alaskan Salmon with Ginger and Black Pepper, which sounds easy enough, but you also have to make a somewhat complicated sauce, which you pour on a warm dinner plate. Then you top that with a celery purée, another PITA. Then you top with the prepared salmon fillets. Much Spago, happy Wolfgang,  joke’s on me. I may attempt this for Thanksgiving. This may be my Everest, and I’m the loon that cooks out of the Julia Child oeuvre

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