First things first: I spent almost the first half of my life in the restaurant business, either growing up and being around it, or working in it. One of my many stints was at a chain which is named after a particular Rolling Stones song (hint: it’s not Bitch). It sucked just like most of the restaurants (especially chains) where I worked, but there was one rather good thing which came out of it and that was learning the recipe for what is, quite possibly, the best potato salad on the planet. It’s a little mayo-heavy, but for this recipe it works.
A caveat before we get started: There’s a reason why the real name isn’t being mentioned here because I’m pretty sure I would get busted for industrial espionage and thrown in the clink for the remainder of my life. Remember, kids: the two crimes that can never be forgiven in this country are stealing from rich people and stealing from corporations. So, let’s just keep this our little secret, shall we?
Here’s what you’ll need:
3 ½ Lbs. Potatoes, cubed
1 ½ Cups Celery, diced
½ Cup Green Onions, diced
½ Cup Green Pepper, diced
1 ½ Cups Hard Boiled Eggs, chopped
1 Cup Bacon, cooked (crispy, goddammit) and diced
2 Cups Mayonnaise
1 ½ Tbsp. Mustard
½ tsp. Celery Salt
1 tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Pepper
Cook your potatoes in a pot of water over high heat until a fork can easily pierce through the center of a cube. Drain and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking process.
Mix together potatoes, celery, green onions, green pepper, eggs and bacon until well distributed.
In a separate bowl, mix together the mayo, mustard, celery salt, salt and pepper.
Add to the potato mixture and mix well.
Serve at your next picnic or other summer gathering and be very, very evasive when asked where you got the recipe.