Have you ever had a moment when life turned into a scene from a movie/TV show/book?

The most TV moment I ever had was during a rainy Sunday afternoon in Sept 2016 working overtime. Feeling somewhat anti-social I decided to go out for lunch by myself. As I pulled out of the work parking lot a dark blue BMW started following me as I headed towards the local McDs.

Initially, I thought it might be someone from a different department craving a Big Mac, but he was following me too closely to just be someone with similar lunch plans. I decided to see what this guy was doing when I pulled into the McDs. I was lucky that I was the only person in the drive thru so I raced thru the drive thru without stopping.

Dark blue BMW followed me. I decided that I would drive up the highway and see where he would follow me. I hit the gas and he followed. I went to 140km/hr to see how bad he wanted to tail me, seconds later he accelerated and was some 10 meters behind me. He was pretty tight on my butt and I really couldn’t shake him without doing something really stupid/dangerous.

Still hungry at this point, I exited quickly and pulled into a nearby small mall that I knew had a decent Shawarma place. I parked and got in. I ordered my Chicken Shawarma and saw the Dark Blue BMW enter the parking lot. He first parked about 10 cars away and opened the driver side window. As I watched from the window of the Shawarma place he then parked closer to my then battered Honda and a few minutes later parked right next to my car.

I got and paid for the chicken shawarma as I saw the driver of the dark blue BMW exit the car. The driver was a man about 6′ 1″, white, short brown hair and looked kinda like James Woods (but not James Woods) wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, pull out a note book and started taken notes. I was now really curious what the fuck this guy was about.

He continued to write notes as I was eating.

After I finished my meal I left the Shawarma restaurant and then walked right up to the driver who got back into his BMW and confronted him.

“Hey asshole, why did you follow me?”

“What? I didn’t follow you.”

“Really? I saw you follow me from work to McDs to here. What’s up with the notes asshole?”

“It’s a free country, I don’t have to tell you shit.”

That’s when I shot him.

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With my phone camera. He didn’t notice I had my cellphone out till it was too late. Took a picture of him and then one of his license place. When he realized what I had done, he zoomed out of the parking lot. Of course, if I were the bad guy then he wouldn’t have known what hit him if I had a weapon like a collapsible baton or perhaps a silenced pistol if this were a Bond movie.

Never saw him again. Still don’t know why the hell the PI (pretty sure he was) was tailing me. Maybe one of my late employer’s enemies? A divorce? The cokehead narcissist? I don’t know.

A few days later, I talked to a friend of mine who was a parking enforcement officer. I had the plate and wanted to run it like I saw in the movies or Magnum PI. Unfortunately I was told that access to the license plate system was monitored closely and I, being a mere civy, had no legal purpose to check out a plate. Not even the offer of doughnuts or a chicken shawarma could change my friend’s mind.

I still have the photos.

Falls under the “Cool Story, Brah.”