What I have been reminded of dealing with my aging parents is how important keeping and making new friends is especially in terms of keeping one’s mind active and healthy.
l tend to lean towards my mom where I find it easy to make friends but it is really hard to find good ones (you know, the type who will bring a shovel and help.)
Strangely my sisters take after my dad who can be very misanthropic and a grouch.
How hard do you think it is to meet people? Would you like more adult friends or you happy without people?
dont ask me….im a fucking hermit
i had friends and a social life
but the only way out of drugs be it using or suplying….is a clean fucking cut
…
i’m conflicted on the issue…..i’d like normal friends….ive never met any of those yet
I’ve tended to make most of my friends at work, which bugs me a bit, since I don’t actually go to work now. There’s not really opportunity to engage in casual conversation over Zoom, and you can’t say, hey, let’s go to lunch to someone in Portland.
In my younger days I was very social. But most of the people I thought were friends turned out to be drinking buddies. And not there when I needed them. So I have a lot of trust issues and am a lot more selective now. I have acquaintances and a couple of close friends. Honestly, I even keep them at a bit of a distance. People can’t disappoint you if you don’t let them in.
A lot of my “work friends” were actually drinking buddies. And yes, not really friends at all.
I’m pretty social and enjoy meeting new people when I have the energy for it. I have three great friends and a bunch of friends who are more than acquaintances by varying degrees. My parents didn’t have any healthy relationships for me to emulate (romantic or platonic). It took me until mid twenties to learn to invest time in the healthy friendships and cut off the bad ones (like alcoholic drinking buddies or toxic narcissistic ones).
My wife and I have noticed how a huge part of our social life had been our kids’ friends’ parents, and now that they’re in college all of those friends have mostly drifted away. The ones we stay in touch with live the closest to us, and it’s much easier to see them.
We did some of the kid’s friend’s parents, too. None of them lasted. When the kids drift apart, you find out you’re not really friends after all.
You would think that living in a remote rural place would hinder making friends, but I’ve actually formed more meaningful friendships here that I did when I lived in the city.
A lot of that is the fact that I teach martial arts classes, so I get to meet a lot of new people, but still…
As a remedy to life in society I would suggest the big city. Nowadays, it is the only desert within our means.
Camus
The biggest problem I have making friends is I am single and have no kids. Most people around my age (give or take 10 years, I’m not being specific) have a lot of their non-work time going to family things or youth sports, etc.
I would like to see the friends I have more often, but it’s things like hey do you want to get together *weekend 2 months out* and being told oh sorry soccer tournament every weekend that month.
I don’t easily make friends but most of my friends I consider life long friends or family. My daughters grew up thinking most of my friends kids are their cousins. Some of my friends I only see once every few years but it is like we were never apart. A few others I try to have a beer with at least every other week. I couldn’t live without them & all our plants would be dead if they didn’t help when we are gone.