Good Excuses [NOT 14/6/23]

14/6/23 brightersideoflife 18

Hi, friends!

Heard any legit good excuses lately?

A few weeks back a bunch of my coworkers were really late to work. When I was driving in, I saw a news helicopter a bit south of where I’m on the interstate but I didn’t know what was going on.

It turns out they had to block 3 of 4 lanes on the interstate because a truck spilled nails all over the fucking highway!!

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18 Comments

  1. Yeah, used one last night. I fell asleep on break and came back late. They asked me why and I said I fell asleep, woke up 15 min after my break was over (last night I worked alone so I had no one waking me up.)

    Why was I so tired? It turns out the aches and chills with fever and coughing I was miserable with over the weekend was CoVId. Not a Covirgin anymore. One of my non mask wearing coworkers gave it to me. I still wear one…. Because of the anti vaxx fuck wits.

    Thankfully I was still vaxxed. Kinda pissed about the whole situation.

  2. i found a not good but perfect excuse recently

    it only works coz i walk it in

    jiggles some shit loose you know

    anyways…i was not late…. just needed to release some chocolate hostages before reporting for doody…… as the walk shook them loose

    i mean….it was either that or do it here

  3. You can always claim one of two things: mild food poisoning from take-out food (specify that, so that no one thinks you’re poisoning people) or vaguely unspecified lower back pain. Both are pretty much undiagnosable and no one will call you on it. It beats, “I drank half my body weight in vodka last night so I’m afraid I won’t be in today…”

  4. I can’t think of many good excuses but I can think of many bad excuses…

    I have to admit that I’m still vexed over the fact that people don’t have to double space-key after periods anymore whilst undeserving people are breaking records that shouldn’t have counted until 17 minutes ago!

    …so take this with that particularly objective grain of salt…

    I am fed the ever-loving-fuck up over the use of blatantly ignorant tropes used to justify bigotry…anywhere & everywhere.

    I just hope my rant doesn’t end up in the “long read” category.

    • I’m pretty sure it’ll be edited by better people than myself before it ends up anything close to the OG, but thank you nonetheless.

      After all, they’re all here based on the promise that I’d never go rogue (or, at least, more ‘rogue’ than I usually go?).

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