Grapes are the worst fruit [NOT 14/11/20]

even raisins are better

stock image of green grapes that I drew angry and sad faces on
If they were destined for wine instead of a table, they wouldn't be sad and angry

First of all, this post is only criticizing table grapes. Grapes destined for wine or jelly, those I have no beef with. I have nothing but appreciation for them.

Table grapes are the WOOOORST though. Most of the time they are too soft or mushy or under ripe, and green grapes especially are a waste of time.

Also as a person with cold sensitivity on 2 molars, grapes are a burst of ouchie ouchie why didn’t I just eat a strawberry when they’re refridgerated.

Tell me if I’m wrong in the comments. Also tell me the fruit you can’t stand and why it’s the WOORRSSTTT.



  1. I disagree that grapes are worse than raisins, which are the literal WOOOORST in the world!
    And I do like grapes sometimes. I especially like them when they’re cold. In the summer, frozen grapes are like popsicle bites! But they’re obviously not a great choice if you have a cold sensitivity. 😕

  2. I hate when I buy seedless grapes, bite into them and SEEDS! I also hate those weird Cotton Candy and Gumdrop flavored grapes. I only buy grapes when there is no other decent fruit in the store. 

  3. I like black table grapes. They are delicious but I miss the seeds!

    I also miss watermelon seeds.

    And, other than olives, we all know that avocado is the very best fruit. I mean, they go with everything. Even spaghetti:

  4. I am a fan of red seedless grapes. We live in area rich with fruit and vegetables, many organically grown. A friend’s sister runs a home delivery organic CSA, and the grapes and the blueberries from there are very good. I like strawberries made into simple syrup and mixed into cocktails in the summer. 

    • That’s awesome! Anything grown locally always tastes so much better.

      The only grapes they grow locally here are concord grapes. Which are seeded, kinda mushy, and really ideal for jelly/juicing but fucking horrible for eating.

      When I lived in Alabama, I liked getting scuppernongs from the farmer’s market there, but they had a strong tannin bite to the skins and a sweet inside, which made them a really complex flavor. 

    • We get so many strawberries that I hate them!!  I have to pick them every other day & I have no room in the freezer because of wife freezing them for jelly.  Daiquiri party at my house anytime, I need more space for hops!   

        • My wife is the green thumb, I would definitely not call them bushes.  They are evil little runners that grow sideways less than an inch below our soil.  My wife composts lots of coffee grounds & egg shells, not sure what other good stuff is in soil.  They do great with lots of water & late afternoon sun at our place.  Slug death is your best friend if u are not into eating half eaten strawberries.  

        • It suuuuuucks. I mean, I don’t think they’re kill-me level but I do get fluttery and a weird itchy rash, so I only let myself cheat a bite or two sometimes. I thought it might be because markets had started getting them from another country of origin or something, but from what you say, I guess it’s just a thing.

          ETA: also hello you!

  5. Mangos are the worst fruit, especially since people always try to make things that smell like them and they smell just fucking weird.
    Grapes would be okay but for the need to wash the bejesus out of them and thus negate any joy one might get from eating them.

  6. Grapes are actually one of my favourite fruits! I rinse them in warm water to bring them up to room temp before eating because I have cold-sensitive teeth, too. I do agree that mushy grapes are bad, but I like the nice firm ones that have a little snap when you bite into them. 

  7. I like grapes! Especially green ones. I’m trying to think of my least favorite fruit… I like pineapple but it makes my mouth tingly and raw for days… but if we are talking dislikes I will probably have to agree on bananas. I do still buy them & eat them sometimes, but they have a bit of ick factor to me. The smell is so strong and the stringy bits are yucky

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