Happy Hour (17/1/20)

A man in Arkansas called the local police department to report that he’d been burgled while staying at the Troutt Hotel in Benton. The stolen item was a gas station cheeseburger. I have never been so drunk, so high, or so hungry I’d eat a gas station cheeseburger. Not even from Sheetz.


Sure, the obvious suspect is this guy.

But let’s not rush to judgement. The Troutt looks exactly like the kind of dump the Winchester brothers might stay at while chasing down monsters.

Maybe they should be looking for this guy.



  1. I have been drunk or high enough that I’d probably eat literally anything. However, I have never been fucked up enough to:
    1. Not take off my bra.
    2. Not wash my face.
    3. Not let my dogs out before passing out.

    One of my first roommates in college….I can’t even remember her name….used to get wasted and come home and take a shower before bed every night! Incredible discipline, I say, as a filthy person.

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