Happy Hour [19/11/21]

I need a drink

The Curly Fry Vodka is distilled with cayenne, paprika, onion and garlic. The Crinkle Fry Vodka is “a subtle tribute to its namesake, made with real kosher salt and sugar to honor the rich tradition of salted potato shapes,” according to a press release.

I might drink this…if I ran out of sterno. I like flavored alcohol as much as the next guy.* But this is going too far. What’s next, Deadsplinters, McRib Bourbon? Pork-infused Skeeter’s Reserve with a whiff of BBQ sauce and the taste of self-loathing. Chik-fil-A Gin? Tvarscki Gin with notes of chicken, pickle, mayo, and the stink bouquet of homophobia.

Serve up your nightmare fast food beer, liquor, or cocktail in the comment section. And before you ask, yes, there is a pizza cocktail.

*Shout out to @SplinterRIP and @Elliecoo for introducing me to BSB103.



  1. Hi @Hannibal @SplinterRIP turned me on to the BSB103. Which is no longer available in Pennsylvania (stupid state store system/laws), so I am hoarding my bottle like Gollum and his precious.

    I made 3 infused simple syrups today, lime, orange, and raspberry, as I am the bartender for @KeitelBlacksmith and his poker party tomorrow night.

    Gross drink? That Jagermeister stuff. I also dislike absinthe, which is shame, because I do enjoy a good cocktail ritual with fancy spoons.

    • I feel the same about absinthe. I wanna like it, but nah. I went Christmas shopping today and got my daughter a bottle of BSB103. The label looks very different so maybe check next time you’re at the State Store. You may not recognize it. The syrups sound delicious, lucky poker players 

  2. That vodka sounds awful.  I will drink any fruit or pepper infused vodkas but no.  Actually, Arby’s anything is terrible and will not go there, ever.  The worst beers in my opinion are Rauch beers (Rauchbier) which are smoked and taste like drinking liquid smoke.  I do need to start happy hour early today but will be going for the tried and true standards to make me forget this awful day.


    • Have you seen those beer caramelizing rods? I’m thinking of getting somebody one for Christmas. Worth it or not?

        • That makes sense. Some people are just hard to buy for so I was grasping at straws. Thanks for keeping me from doing something dumb.

  3. eh…im generally willing to try anything at least once…so…i dont really have a nightmare flavour that ive found yet… cept vanilla coke (oh god oh god the aftertaste )

    a quick google let me find smoked salmon flavoured vodka tho…..i love smoked salmon… have a feeling that might put me off it

    anyways…for the foreseeable future im on a coffee and water diet…which is kinda boring…but cheap

    i resent all the prices going mental :p

    • I love smoked salmon but, nope, that sounds nasty.

  4. I’ve had smoked beer which tastes like it must have had cigarettes doused in it.

    Fortunately I had one recently which was extremely subtle, to the point where there really was no smoke flavor at all, which was about right.

  5. Just here to agree that smoked beers are not delightful. And I like smoked foods like nobody’s business.

    Today I am drinking whatever’s in the fridge, liquor cabinet, or wine rack. Not going to be picky.

  6. Malort is supposed to be pretty harsh. I think Chicagoans drink it as a form of clan identification, but I’d like to try it once just to see.  I think it’s vaguely in the same family as Jagermeister, which I’ve had once or twice and tolerated.

    • I had a shot of malort a couple years ago (that rite of passage bs) and I can honestly say that I would rather lick the floor of the bar than do that again. It’s bitter and herbal and has this lingering nastiness that took 2 shots of Jack Daniel’s to clear out.

      I am also not a fan of jagermeister, but I do love a Liquid Cocaine. I’ve heard that there are several versions, but the one the bar here makes is equal parts jager, goldschlager, and rumplemintz. It sounds gross but somehow, it works really well. There have been a few really fun nights that I almost remember after drinking a bunch of those! And I used to drink 151 and Coke as my regular drink, so my alcohol tolerance is… a lot.

    • I’ve never had malort but if it’s like Jäegermeister, no thank you!

  7. My 34 yr old step-sister is in the hospital, possibly dying. She has had trouble with alcohol dependency. This is her 3rd time doing detox and a hospital stay to stabilize her in as many years (she’s also done regular rehab and intensive OP therapy). Last year they thought she might need a liver transplant but she managed to pull through, but they also told her she would not survive this again. Now her liver and kidneys are failing (your kidneys kick in when your liver gives up and hers are so bad she’s on dialysis). So the doctor says she probably needs a double transplant now which seems unlikely.



    Edit: didn’t mean to post this in Happy Hour to ruin everyone’s good time, just was waiting for a NOT.

    • That’s heartbreaking, I’m so sorry. Don’t worry about where you posted, it’s not important.

    • I’m really sorry to hear that @PumpkinSpies. Any chance she’ll pull through? You don’t need to apologize, Happy Hour is as good a place as any to remind people to drink responsibly, because there but for the grace of – insert preferred deity- go you and I. Anytime you need to vent, we’re here to listen.❤️

      • My dad just called, she’s been moved to ICU. Her bp dropped and she has a fever. He doesn’t think she’s going to pull through this one. He’s not an overly pessimistic person. Even if she were to somehow be physically fine, the alcohol use is her self medicating a severe anxiety disorder. So she’s had trouble getting treatment for that in the past, for a variety of reasons.

        • 34 is so young. I’ll keep her, you, and your family in my thoughts. Not that it will do any good, but I hope it will be a small comfort to you.

    • I’m sorry. I had a 40-something-year-old cousin who succumbed to this exact thing (kidneys and liver both failing) early this year. It sucks to watch. Support to you and your family.

    • Our raging alcoholic of a sister-in-law pretty much blew up what was left of my wife’s relationship with her brother.  Isn’t problem drinking the best?

      • The weird thing is, no one even knew she drank problematically until the first hospital stay. She was completely secretive about it. Didn’t drink around friends or family.

        • I’m so sorry for you.  My sister in law died from the same thing & we thought she had stopped drinking until her liver failed.  Heartbreaking for her kids & all of us.  My buddy just lost his wife too to same thing & he didn’t know either & she was a doctor.  Hug your loved ones & we are all sending you positive vibes.

        • Our SIL is a sloppy drunk who embarrasses herself at pretty much every family gathering.  Her nephew’s one wish for his wedding day this summer was that she wouldn’t embarrass him.  My BIL just makes excuses for her and seems like he’s decided if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

    • …sorry to hear that…would that there were anything I could do that might help but you (& indeed she) have my utmost sympathies

    • @Pumpkinspies, sending you hugs, strength, and compassion. I am sorry for your troubles.

  8. I’m just now trying Fireball for the first time.  It’s entirely too sweet, but tastes almost exactly like a Fireball candy.

    • My daughter used to drink that in college, I never tried it but don’t think I’d hate it. It’s gotta be better than Arby’s vodka.

      • The next time you’re at the liquor store, spend the $1.49 on the nip bottle.

        • That’s a good idea.

    • Fireball works great in baked goods that also feature apples. Like muffins or cake.

  9. The pizza cocktail has no pineapple, and therefore is not legit.

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