Happy Hour [22/10/21]

I need a drink

If I could celebrate Halloween anywhere in the U.S., I’d be in Rochester, Minnesota, this Saturday night for the Creepy Doll Cocktail Party. I love a good scare, and dolls are spooky AF. You can cast your vote for the scariest until midnight tonight on Facebook. Or get your very own haunted doll, if you dare.

My daughter has a trio of weird dolls that she left behind when she moved out, one of which is a replica of Robert the Doll she insisted on getting as a souvenir in Key West as a child. I’m pretty sure they’re going to murder me in my sleep one night, probably while I’m having a nightmare about #s 2 and 9 from the photo above.

If you’ve got any scary doll stories or pics, this is the place to share them. And as always, what are you drinking, Deadsplinters?



  1. never really been creeped out by dolls…i suspect the person that made 2 might creep me out tho….something very wrong there

    and im drinking…water…yeah i know..wierd..but well..thats where the budgets at

    tomorows another day tho…and ill be trading some physical labour for cash…elderly couple across the road needs some stuff cleared and various bits of garden work…so hey lucky me…bonus budget pre payday 🙂

  2. It’s not a doll, exactly, but there is a house I walk by sometimes that has a Jack Pumpkinhead maybe seven or eight feet tall by its front door all year round.

    There is another house I walk by sometimes that has stuffed polar bears in its front window. Not dolls or toys. Actual taxidermied seven foot tall polar bears.

    • Did they shoot them? I’m not a fan of trophy taking but it’s even weirder if they didn’t.

      • I never got the nerve to ring the doorbell and ask.

        I did look up whether it was even legal to own them. It seems like you can if you have documentation they were killed 50+ years ago, so maybe they were grandfathered. But seriously, what the hell?

  3. My daughters had Barbies but not too many creepy dolls I can think of.  Now American Girl dolls, those were creepy because it was like a weird expensive cult thing.  I hated taking them to that store but luckily it was a short phase.  I just got some Head Full of Fresh Hops at Costco so will most likely be drinking that tonight along with some other left over fresh hop beers until mine is carbonated fully.  Love this quote on their website…“Friends bring happiness into your life, best friends bring fresh hop beer.”





    • My daughter was always a little off, even as a child. I guess the crabapple didn’t fall far from the tree.

    • One of the greatest things ever published by Gawker was their review of the American Doll restaurant.



      Rich: When you walk in, they ask, “Table number?” (They assign you a table number when you check in before walking into the dining room, which, let’s be honest, is just busy work for everyone.) And then they say, “How many dolls?”

      Tell the people what I said.

      Caity: You said “Just this one!” and pointed to me. (At exactly the same time, I mumbled “Zero,” which undercut the moment a little bit.) It really felt like you were taking me out for a special day.

      • I remember that lol. Caity Weaver was the best.

  4. Appalachia gets some pretty good creepy doll vibes around Halloweeen

  5. Oh hell, I love that!


  6. No doll stories here.

    It’s a gray, rainy day — a perfect opportunity to continue my assault on the local Oktoberfest varieties.





  7. That’s you in the GIF, right? If not let me believe it is. Cold and gray here too, just like my heart.

      • That’s Better Half (in whiteface). I’m the one who twirls in from the right. He’s a much more accomplished slap dancer (Schuhplattler) than I am.

  8. Not a doll but it could be? Creepy photo of a relative from the civil war era.

    • That’s great. Do you think our pics will look creepy to people in a 100 or so years?

  9. There’s a vendor at the farmer’s market that takes old doll heads and turns them into succulent planters. It’s awesome and terrifying and I’m not willing to buy one because I don’t want it to stare at me.

    • Yeah, I’d like to see them but don’t want one in my home, lol.

  10. The creepiest doll, bar none, is Jared Kushner.

    • And truly dangerous.

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