Happy Hour [9/10/20]

9/10/20 Hannibal 36

You don’t have to drink alone.

I love Halloween, it’s my favorite holiday, just one more thing Covid 19 has ruined for me. But, if there’s one bright spot, it’s that maybe I’ve been spared the annual stupid and tasteless costumes. Like all the SEXY getups.

Your hands are so clean, that’s HOT!

Now, I’m no prude, but most of these are so ridiculous, anyone wearing one would be too dumb for me to find attractive.

At least they’re just silly and not outright offensive, like the Anne Frank costume. Yes, you read that right. Someone thought it would be cool for children to dress up as ANNE FRANK !

Look kids, the Holocaust was fun!

Many retailers have apologized and removed the costume, others have changed the name to World War II Evacuee Girl. I have a sneaking suspicion that Katie Miller has an adult size version that husband Stephen makes her wear. *shudder*

Not all the 2020 costumes suck. I haven’t dressed up for Halloween since my late 20’s. After a certain age it felt foolish. That’s just me, I’m not judging anyone else. But if I did, I’d be going as Moira Rose.

No snark, I’m here for all the Schitt’s Creek costumes!

What’s the best or worst costume you’ve seen in the last few years? Is your town even holding Trick or Treat this year? And will you be wearing fancy dress?

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36 Comments

  1. 1.  The hand sanitizer costume is not even remotely sexy.
     
    2.  Anne Frank?!  Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
     
    3.  Katie Miller–holy shit, was that funny.
     
    4.  We haven’t bothered with Halloween in ages.  The kids have been grown for some time, Mrs. Butcher was never enamored with the holiday, and no way would a pile of candy last in my house long enough to actually give to a bunch of panhandling children.  Besides, we live on a dead end street in a sort-of out of the way neighborhood, so we’ve never had trick-or-treaters for as long as we’ve lived here.

    • Jesus, that Anne Frank thing is horrible. I’m just … I can’t … fuck, who is the customer here? I guess the same assholes who wear blackface. 
       
      My wife works for a municipality and we normally go hand out candy as part of the festivities at the park in the center of town. This year no festivities. We normally have a booth and I carve (fake) pumpkins as part of the decorations. I’ve got a couple dozen now. I’ll probably put them all out on my lawn (weather permitting) and sit out there with a bowl of candy 10 feet away or so and drink. No kids may show up but the neighbors get a kick out of it. 
       
      Let’s see if I can do this. 

       

        • I probably won’t add more this year. I don’t like to invest this kid of effort in something that will rot, so I use the fake pumpkins from Michael’s, but it’s getting awkward to store them. This is the tip of the iceberg — I’ve got enough to put out a pretty comprehensive display. 

    • We live in town and get around 140 Trick or Treaters. But I have no idea how many would come this year. I love seeing the kids in their costumes. But I have no idea how to prepare this year. Our mayor suggests setting the treats out on a table. We give those little bags of cookies, Oreos, Chips Ahoy. So they should be safe enough. I suppose I can donate anything not taken.

      • I know. The best part of our city park Halloween is seeing all the costumes. I like the idea of a table and bags, though. I don’t like the thought of kids rummaging around in a candy bowl or scooping out big handfuls. 

        • When my daughter was in elementary school they weren’t allowed to bring  Halloween candy in the next day for some weird reason. So we started giving bags of cookies. And became known as The Cookie House. We continued the practice when we moved here and the kids seemed to like it. I hate to disappoint them by not participating.

  2. I have a sneaking suspicion that Katie Miller has an adult size version that husband Stephen makes her wear.

     
    Laughing and throwing up in my mouth simultaneously. 
     
    I don’t normally don a costume, and this year I plan to maintain that.

  3. no halloween here…
    our house is usually pretty much the only one for miles around with pumpkins
    on the 11th of november we have st martens day…where kids have to make their own lanterns and go door to door to sing for candy 

          • probably…somewhere down the line at least
            lots of dutch names in the states… like de vos 
            wierdly tho… despite all the dutchlings settling over there…..i dont think stampot is a dish thats widely known over there
            (its basically mashed potatoes with carrot and onion…all in the mash…drowned in gravy and served with a kind of smoked sausage)
            (oh wait…carrot and onion..might be hutspot…then i guess kale or anything fucking else makes stampot…i always get them mixed up)
            (damn good winterfood tho)

    • This is as good a place as any. And thank you for posting it. I’m not a race fan so I wasn’t familiar with Mr. Hamilton. But I agree that he is a man worry of respect, for his abilities and his activism. Rooting for that 7th win now too!

  5. We used to go to a yearly Halloween costume in the neighborhood but that is gone.  Last time I went as a fishing lure, I had circular shower curtain wrapped around me that was cut up and had a big hook in the genital region.  It was a VERY adult party each year, no kids.  I could never beat my one neighbor in the contest though, he went dressed as Lady Gaga in an actual meat dress made of sausages on year!  I thought we was going to get attacked by coyotes on the walk home. 

    • He must have smelled…interesting.

      I used to co-host a huge Halloween party. The costumes were often in poor taste. One year was Come As Your Favorite Dead Person. I wore a thrift store mumu, hair in curlers, and a mustache – my Aunt Rose. I feel sort of bad about it now. Another year we heard banging on the garage door, opened to find an 8′ tall Frankenstein. The guy wore painters stilts. Nobody ever bested that one.

  6. It’s a beautiful day here (weather’s been great all week) and my neighborhood is having an outside socially distanced happy hour. 

    Can’t wait to head out of here and get my DRANK on!

     

  8. We usually get upwards of 500 small humans. We are forgoing it this year, for all the reasons; safety, expense, uncertain turnout. The best costume last year was on a kid about 6 years old – he was a stove. His dad painted a huge square box silver, added appliance knobs and an oven door handle, and put four of the ring-style burners on the top. The kid’s head poked out of one them, wearing the ring as a hat. He had led lights around it and red ones under the burners to mimic heat. It was awesome.

    • 500! Holy cow, that’s a lot of candy to dole out. There’s no way to do that safely. 

      I love costumes like that. One year our neighbors brought their toddler child dressed as Alex from A Clockwork Orange. It was perfect but incredibly jarring,  both impressive and wildly inappropriate.

      I hope you and Keitel find another way to enjoy the holiday. Spooky movies and delicious baked goods perhaps?

      • A 9 block section of semi-detached homes, less traffic, good lighting, and maybe 90% home participation. People decorate, play music, share cocktails on their front porches. Folks from around the city drive their kids over for a safe and welcoming night. It is super fun…but not this year.

  9. Oh dear. Good for Keitel but now more baking for you. Dogs start to lose their sense of smell as they age, and they don’t have a strong sense of taste.  Maybe the difficult spice cake is the one she can smell. Any chance you could use a box mix and tweak it with ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg? 

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