[HEADLINE REDACTED] [DOT 27/8/22]

[SUBHEAD ALSO REDACTED]

27/8/22 Clever Name Here dba "Black Rod" 22

Happy Saturday!!

You may have seen a small part of the warrant for the completely necessary and frankly long overdue raid on Mar-A-Largo released yesterday. In it, we were able to discover that the former president and all around wheezing shitbag named Trump only had a shitload of highly illegal documents he claims are his but wasn’t supposed to have, not that we’re even sure he knows how to read, frankly, not the originally assumed metric shitload.

It’s hard to know what to believe about this story if you’re a drooling moron who gets their news from angry heiresses because there’s a lot going on. Trump claims he’s King Shit on Turd Mountain and he has the ability to declassify everything pertaining to Roswell and whatever he chooses. The law, which is surprisingly fucking clear on this matter, disagrees. We’ll see if Ol’ Donny can wriggle his way out of this jam into a prison rocket next to all his fail-children and their fail-spouses that’s launched directly into the sun.

Sorry for making you work with this joke this morning actually I’m not sorry in the least.

NPR: Over 180 classified docs removed by National Archives from Mar-a-Lago, affidavit says: https://www.npr.org/2022/08/26/1119588357/trump-warrant-affidavit-mar-a-lago-search

Hope springs eternal

The winner of the $1.34 billion Mega Millions jackpot last month has yet to step forward and claim their prize. For what it’s worth, the winner has a full year to claim it — and some people do hold off for a while in an attempt to stay out of the spotlight.

$1.34 billion Mega Millions winner in Illinois still hasn’t claimed prize one month later: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/134-billion-mega-millions-winner-illinois-still-hasnt-claimed-prize-on-rcna44973

Three fire emojis and laser eyes

As noted in the comments of yesterday’s DOT, the White House’s Twitter account has turned awesome as fuck recently, calling out GOPer whining:

The reason the feed has been so fire lately? Well, OK, first let’s credit whatever shit they’ve put in Joe “Dark Brandon” Biden’s ice cream over the past two weeks, because he’s been on a goddamn roll. Student loans? Calling MAGAs fascists? Pulling a straight up “I don’t know her” on MTG? Making DACA a federal regulation?!?! Dropping his patented catchphrase “Come on!” while shitting on Trump’s toddler-esque declaration that he can declassify anything he wants?!!??!?!

But there’s also more to the White House’s suddenly strong Twitter game than just some laser-eye malarkey memes making the rounds: https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/new-jersey/2022/08/26/white-house-nj-twitter-thread-megan-coyne-student-loan-debt-forgiveness/65458123007/

Dudes Rock

You should never do this. It’s stupid and insane. But … goddamn if it doesn’t rule.

These primates know how to party

I saw this one so you have to, too. Note the words used in the link before you click on it …

Some monkeys use stone tools for pleasure, study suggests (NYT): https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/26/science/monkeys-sex-toys-masturbation.html

And with that … on to the music!

For me, personally, big day: I have one of my fantasy football drafts, which yes, it’s about fantasy football but more about getting together for the first time in person with some friends to do it. Much merriment will be had — and I hope your weekend is also going to be full of fun and friends!

Onward, Saturday!

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About Clever Name Here dba "Black Rod" 127 Articles
Vell, Clever Name Here just zis guy, you know? Sometimes funny. Often annoyed. Once I saw a blimp.

22 Comments

    • I clicked on that link to learn more and in the course of doing so I learned that there is a Republican Congressman from Oklahoma named Markwayne (one word apparently) Mullin who is also an MMA fighter.

      I wish I didn’t know this stuff. One of my biggest causes of self-loathing is my parochialism. There’s a big, bright, wonderful world out there, I know that, and a friend of mine who is not from Oklahoma once told me that although Tulsa is mostly known for the race riot it should be better known for its phenomenal Art Deco architecture. I’ve always thought, well maybe some day if Better Half and Faithful Hound and I do a cross-country road trip maybe we should stop in Tulsa and see this Art Deco architecture. I’m a big fan of the genre. But now I know that some MMA fighter named Markwayne (one word) Mullin represents at least part of the state, I don’t know how many reps they get, hopefully not that many, and the whole experience would be spoiled.

      • No te preocupes, primo. I’ve actually been to Tulsa, as my semi-estranged older sister did her undergrad there, and I can’t remember seeing or noticing any of this Art Deco architecture you’re speaking of. (Granted, I didn’t know about the race riot either at the time, but that’s another story. . . .) In fact, pretty much the only thing that registered in my puberty-flaring mind was that Tulsa spelled backwards is “ASLUT.”

         

         

        • Did you know that in New York Spanish-speaking retail workers, like in bodegas and takeout restaurants, call all the male customers “papi” and all the older female customers “mami”? It’s a very charming custom. Among the non-Spanish-speaking local retailers I am called “uncle” or “unc.”

        • Same. I spent a week there just before Covid hit. Didn’t notice any special architecture. I did notice that Tulsa has the emptiest downtown I’ve ever seen anywhere. I could literally have taken a nap in the middle of the street at noon on any day I was there. I kept asking where all the people were. I got answers like oh, folks live in the suburbs.

  6. So now it looks like Trump has gotten even MORE people killed after leaving office. I’m starting to think there’s gonna be some indictments here.

    • There are a lot of right wingers who have been really stupidly jumping into this before they know anything, and a lot of supposed moderate-ish pundits (David Broke) who have been channelling them via concern trolling based on hypothetical “what are the politics if this was just dinner menus?” scenarios.

      The press is feeding them and it’s just amazingly short sighted.

      • …could be…but on the other hand the DoJ has/had done a good deal more than there was talk of it having done even before this stuff with them seizing documents came up & if there’s a credible link between this and either harm to sources in the obvious sense or harm in the sense of having to pull them out (as I think happened with one who’d provided a considerable amount of high level intelligence out of russia sometime fairly early during the alleged administration’s tenure) then that is some pretty serious shit…& thus far his defense has been scraping the barrel to the point of claiming this all happened because some stuff was unknowingly shipped to florida by his removal guys…which given the way a lot of it was misfiled/mislabelled & the like begs the question since it merely being in a state where it could be accidentally picked up & transported by a removals firm would seem to contravene the statutes in question

        …so…I dunno…I think there’s a better chance of this going a different way than I’d have bet on…in my more optimistic moments I almost think that between the obstruction stuff, the document stuff & the trump org quite possibly going down for tax fraud that the extended shit fit he’s throwing on that truth social thing (while they ride that into the ground on the back of a stack of unpaid bills in characteristic fashion) might indicate that he’s beginning to come to grips with the fact that after a lifetime of “but I’m covered, they can’t get me for that” there really might be a first time for everything?

        • This is America, friend.  We will never see Trump behind bars.  Mostly because Democrats will be too afraid of Republicans pursuing actually politically motivated prosecutions on a much larger scale.  At best he will get some kind of slap on the wrist and we will hear platitudes about how nobody is above the law, when anyone who has more than two brain cells to rub together knows that’s never been true in this country.

          • …I take your point…& cynicism in that regard is certainly well-earned at this point

            …jail may indeed even remain in the realm of wishful thinking in the same way that the US doesn’t seem inclined to sign up to things like the international criminal court…I can see nobody being willing to open the door to incarcerating someone who’s actually been president just to avoid setting the precedent

            …but this dumpster fire raged too long & burned too bright for it to be brushed aside & politely ignored the way things mostly went with nixon in the long run…in many ways it’s old yeller desperately trying to keep the deciding factor in the if-the-GOP-need-me-they’ll-bail-me-out territory that’s the only reason we even know he & his are this deep in the hole…DoJ by every appearance would have preferred to stay quiet about everything bar “we took some paperwork back that shouldn’t have been there in the first place”

            …so…yeah…my previous comment was more admitting that my wishful thinking was still perhaps too much to wish for…but at the same time that it doesn’t look as beyond possibility as it did

            …if the espionage act stuff turns out to be the part where the fat lady sings then who knows…that seems like all bets are off territory…but also very much like the sort of dirty laundry that some pretty serious people would be at pains not to air in public

            …but even as desperate as he was to sit on the fence mueller was pretty clear that there absolutely was sufficient material available even to him then that pressing charges against him would have been the call were it not for the protection afforded him by a memo which would no longer shield him as a private citizen…so I increasingly don’t see this playing out absent more in the way of consequences for those involved than I’d originally have credited?

            …there’s the fraud & the obstruction stuff…& the election tampering…& the grifting…just for funsies…imagine if the trump org were declared an ongoing criminal enterprise…you’ve arguably got extortion, bribery, theft/fraud/embezzlement/money laundering, obstruction of justice…& if you add in jan 6th even an act of terrorism

            …that’d make a hell of a RICO case

            …it’s fun to think about, anyhow?

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